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andy5128

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  1. andy5128
    Hi Trey Welcome to the NC thread.. and good luck.. So will her contacting you make you feel better?? Does she want to get back with you or is she feeling guilty and wants to make sure your ok? Well it appears to be the latter at the moment. Ask yourself this, is her contacting me just to see i'm ok really helping you get yourself together?? Put it this way I slap you in the face and it hurts..! Do you want me to go away so that heals or do you want me to give you another slap in the face?! Do you get my point!! LOL Well if I were in your shoes mate, I would speak with her when she calls or pops round whatever it maybe and be straight with her about you need time for yourself right now or just ignore her contact completely. You owe her nothing! She finished with you and does not want to be with you right NOW, sorry thats the hard facts mate! The biggest sign of your love for her is for you to drop off the planet as that is what she wanted right?? If then sometime down the road she wants you she will show you that she does.. Right now all your doing is getting slapped over and over and the hurt is never going away! Take Care Mate.. Andy
  2. andy5128
    Day 4... An okish day at work.. well it dragged a bit too be honest! LOL Went for a few beers after work and I dunno why it made me feel like crap and decided to come home early! Might of been all those loved up couples mingling in the bar that didnt help!! Me female friend is playing hard to get too, one minute we are all on for tomorrow and then now I am not so sure as got no news on plans for tomorrow as yet! She sent me an email mid week saying cant do friday but can probably do saturday..? So I replied with yeah thats fine, maybe see you Saturday then.. She replied with Maybe? So I sent well I am free if you are but as you said probably was not sure you were free! Let me know what you fancy doing or something along those lines but had no reply now!! LOL.. Argh... I dont understand women at all I have begun to realise!! Hot and Cold syndrome! I think I am going to become a Monk!
  3. andy5128
    Aldo, dont worry yourself about it. Just back to NC... DAY 3..Woohoo..! Feeling ok, my second attempt at reaching 30days NC so should make this one..! Had a nice time on a date last night, she is not my type if being honest with myself but will see her as a friend and enjoy her company... Out with a few mates later which should be fun and then a few beers after work tomorrow night and then over to another female friends to watch a DVD on Saturday so my social life is improving and having some fun.. Which is helping life after ex is ok after all.. Still miss her now and then but she knows where I am if she wants me and thats how I think these days!! I am sure her new man is keeping her company afterall!! LOL Keep it up NC club...!
  4. andy5128
    Day 2.. All is well in Andyland.. Well not too bad anyhow. Got a date later tonight so that should be fun.. Hope everyone is well and doing good...
  5. andy5128
    Day 1..again! LOL I will actually reach 30 days and beyond one day! Well got no further reason for contact as phone sorted for time being. She has a new guy so no reason to contact to think she will come back anymore and got past that stage some time back.. No reason to contact her on her birthday end of the month as was considering it but now she has the new guy dont feel it is a good idea anymore not even just a simple text. So NC it is..
  6. andy5128
    Hi Lonelydoll Thanks for your comments, how are you Hun? Yeah in the move on mode and our paths will cross I'm pretty sure but hopefully will be a better and healed person by then.. I do value her friendship just not ready for it right now so no harm in agreeing but thought I would be honest and say I was not ready and she understood and even agreed it was maybe too soon. I am pleased for her in an odd way that she has found someone else, I just want her to be happy and for this new guy to care for her and give her the love she deserves.. Andy
  7. andy5128
    DAY 0.. Well update on the ex! Called her straight after work today to sort the phone out. Just chatted pleasantly about how she was and me and stuff like that. Then sorted the phone well agreed she is happy to keep it in her name as was worried about that as my credit is a bit naff at the moment due to my finances! She said to contact her nearer the time of the renewal to sort that out etc. Agreed to stay friends but told her I was just not ready right now which is simply the truth! She agreed it might just be too soon for me but she was good to her word and would like to stay mates and catch up now and then and I thought why not so agreed. Well then got onto her telling me she hopes I am ok and that I meet someone nice etc.. I mentioned I had been on a few dates and so on.. So thought it a good time to ask, so asked her are you seeing someone she acted a little awkward but then said yeah I have met someone, I wished her well with that and asked how long they had been together etc. She replied with 8 weeks.. We carried on with a few more pleasantries etc and then ended the call. So a quick calculation by me thats Mid March she has been seeing somone and did not even realise! LOL So about 6 weeks from when we split. I was kinda ok with it, it's also made me feel a bit more easy with moving on. I hope it works out for her I really do, maybe a little surprised she has got with someone so soon..! You quickly go through that I did not mean much in your head dont you!! LOL.. So back to NC all the way now.. until maybe later in the year when maybe I feel ok with contacting her and do you think I have done the right thing with the phone stuff as this keeps contact between us really.
  8. andy5128
    Day 2 Still in kinda limbo as phone thing STILL outstanding.. I know, I know I keep going on about it but it's still not finalised.. Feel okish today, I am not normally a fan of Sundays they are the worst day in terms of sitting around and your thoughts go haywire! Well off out bowling with a female friend later which will be fun. Then later this evening will try and keep myself busy or may pop on here again as thats the time I find the hardest the Sunday evening syndrome... Keep it up folks, stay strong it gets easier as the days go by..
  9. andy5128
    Well day 1 again or in Limbo so to speak! Not heard from her to say she is free to talk and not going to call out of the blue as told her to let me know when she is free. It's early evening nearly 7pm now so I guess I wont hear from her today! Why she is lingering this on I dont know..!
  10. andy5128
    Hi Ya Keep it light and upbeat and just be yourself and have fun mate. Biggest thing to do is after the time together dont do what I did and contact again quite soon and push again as they will pull and you are back to square one. So have a good time, then leave it at least a few weeks by then if she has not contacted you maybe contact her again but only after some weeks and ask to catch up again. Important leave that space after being with her unless of course she asks to see you...
  11. andy5128
    Was Day 5 but back to Zero! Well thought to myself lets get this outstanding stuff out of the way, who am I kidding that we will get back together! Well who knows whats down the road but right now it's over and lets put it to bed and work on me.. So sent a text midday, just friendly saying hope your well etc then saying can we sort this phone stuff out so I can move on and leave you in peace and to be happy and so on and I would like to be friends but I am just not ready right now.. Anyway got a reply some minutes later saying yeah I think it's for the best and let me know how you want to deal with the phone stuff. I replied with can you talk at work about it, she replied with no not really but give me a call tomorrow. I sent a final text saying that's fine and will give you a call tomorrow just text me when your free. So it's back to day 0 and not going to kick it off again until Sunday as hopefully by then I will have spoke to her and got all this stuff sorted out. So any advice on do's and dont's for tomorrow's chat, do I stick with strict phone chat do I talk about us and just wish her well or something as I guess this is the last conversation we may ever have which is a bit sad.. I really have accepted it's done, end of.. If not I would have expected to have gotten some kind of sign by now it was end of Jan when we split so I need to just accept it and move on for my sake more than anything really.. So any advice would be welcome.. will add this to my thread too so apologies for replication.. Thanks everyone... andy
  12. andy5128
    Well I guess I am lucky in the respect of Facebook and MySpace as my ex uses the internet but doesnt visit or have pages on those sites well not that I know of but doubt it very much as the internet for her is too book flights, holidays and check emails and thats about it..
  13. andy5128
    Hi Marooon11 Welcome to the NC Challenge, well you are a couple of days ahead of me already(my second attempt at NC though, got to 20+ days last time!) so best of luck.. Andy
  14. andy5128
    Day 4 for me Felt a bit better today, work was more focussed for me which was good. Geez whats happened to the weather eh for my fellow UK guys.. Was like summer last month and more like winter again all of a sudden just lowers your mood a bit I guess! She still has not got back to me about sorting me phone out, still got the urge to text or call to sort it out but then think why should I as I left it open for her to let me know when she is free to speak about it.. I just dont get why she does not want to sort it out, surely she wants to get it over and done with so she has no other reason to have contact with me as I thought that would be what she wanted. Unless she just feels a bit awkward about it at the moment..! Out tomorrow night with a mate for a few beers so that should be good... Still got that do I dont I text/call feeling to get this phone sorted...argh... I know it wont help though as being pushy again and then if she dont reply will be gutted or if she does it may be awkward anyway.. Off to gym a bit later that always makes me feel a bit better... Only another 86 days til my target of 90 days!! woohoo..
  15. andy5128
    Day 3... Slightly better day today and was able to actually concentrate at work for most of the day. It's my night off from the gym(you have to have a night off!) so just going to chill and watch some tv, read some threads on here and so on. Just try and keep busy really.. Spoke to a few work colleagues today about how I am feeling and so on as they all know I have split up with her. Well she used to work there and she came along to nights out and so on so they know her anyway. I am glad they are able to listen to my moans and groans it's nice to get things out and also get peoples opinions on things..well wouldnt be on here if did not need help getting through this.. Still no contact from her following my last text message about her contacting me when she is free to sort this mobile (cell) phone contract stuff out.. Still don't get this at all.. Surely she would want to just call and get it over with.. People at work reckon she is hurting more than I reaise and is finding this hard too (they are not sure just generalising). They might be right so perhaps thats why she wont call or contact well not yet about the phone.. who knows.. again over analysing it.. any thoughts on this guys and girls? Just bothered that she may leave it a few weeks then make contact and I am back at square one or she leaves it for me to contact which I wont well not until the 90 days or 60 days minimum before I think I will feel ok with it.. It's the only thing that is kinda doing my head in as just waiting for that contact to sort it out.. LOL.. Get a grip andy..!
  16. andy5128
    I know how you feel chocolatecake. I am on NC just for healing now as I am pretty sure it's done and dusted. Still think of her and today at work I have been a right miserable git!! LOL Was in a meeting showing no interest and even got asked what do you think Andy you are quiet while on one agenda item and I had to wake up for a second as was in a world of my own. Then went out for a ciggie with my boss later and he was asking are you alright do you need to talk or anything! I said I'm ok just got a few things on my mind.. Her thats what!! ARGH..! Anyone know any memory removal devices or surgeons who know how to remove them!? Anyway day 2 of NC... Woohoo.. Goal of 90 days as really need to stick to this where possible.. So only 88 days to go..!! LOL She hasnt sent me a text or called about sorting this phone stuff out if you have been following my thread.. Surely she would want to sort this out so we dont need to contact each other anymore? What is she waiting for? The dust to settle as thought I was a bit annoyed, she feels uncomfortable with speaking with me at the moment for whatever reason, she is hoping i will just forget all about it, she wants to hold onto this as her wildcard..? I dunno, I give up trying to work these things out anymore. Now I have said all this she will probably text for me to call to sort it! Well I left it for her to contact me to let me know she was free to talk about it and I'm not going to make contact yet again.. It always seems to be me making the contact.. Today I feel - Annoyed that 18 months wasted of my life, cheesed off that she has not made contact since Sunday to sort this phone out, kinda accepted that it's done and time to move on and forget about it all..
  17. andy5128
    Hi lonelydoll, will try my best to beat my record!! If I get the call about sorting this phone stuff out will deal with that then will go back to NC. I hope she calls soon about phone would rather get it sorted if she doesnt though not going to make the contact it will just have to wait sometime. I think I got to 25 days or something last time cant remember so going for 30 minimum well aiming for 2 months NC at least really.. Give it a go finalcloud...
  18. andy5128
    Hi lonelydoll You are doing so well, I wish my ex was contacting me but it has never worked that way. I guess I didnt give her chance too though as went maximum of about 3 to 4 weeks then made contact again then met up then it went to pieces..! I take it you are not planning on wishing him happy birthday?
  19. andy5128
    Glad to hear your moving along just fine.. I am just so surprised at myself that this breakup is affecting me like this. Had a couple of long term relationships one of which I was married too some years ago and I never felt like this..! Well maybe because I was the dumper on those occasions so I guess thats the main difference. It's just so hard knowing you cant do a damn thing to change their mind really as it does not work and just ignoring the whole thing and dropping off the planet is the best route to go.. If they then think oh no he's gone I want him back then great if not your on the road to recovery.. Thanks again for your advice..
  20. andy5128
    Thanks Krisnakay, how's things for you.. Your right it is just another day, best to leave it. It will only dig up my feelings again anyhow as if she doesnt respond I will be wondering why and if she does I will be reading into every word!! LOL Thanks for your thoughts..
  21. andy5128
    quick question, birthday contact.. Is it something you still do or do you just leave it?? It's her birthday towards the end of the month, she did send me a text wishing me a happy birthday back in mid feb which was some weeks after the break up. Do I send her one, or do I ignore it as I dont want to come accross as uncaring but at the same time I dont now want her to think she has a hold on me!! Your thoughts folks?
  22. andy5128
    Day 2, or it will be later this afternoon as will of been then 24 hours since that last text from me saying let me know when you are free to talk about the phone.. I know what you mean Ryan, I thought she may be holding onto the fact that my mobile phone bills and that it is still registered in her name would need to be sorted at some point and that this would be an opportunity for her to contact me for a reason. I think I was just kidding myself, so I thought may aswell mention it and get it sorted out.. What I found funny yesterday was we exchanged a few texts and then as soon as I said are you free to talk about sorting out my phone the reply I got was sorry, no i'm going out now. I kinda thought yeah right..! All of a sudden even though had been exchanging texts for 10 mins or so, I dont think so.. Also ow long does it take to have a quick convo about that stuff. I think maybe she was a bit shocked I had brought up the phone and wanting to speak to sort it out and was not ready to speak to me at a guess.. Being told they want to be a friend but just now and then.. what is that supposed to mean? I wanna be friends when it suits me or this gives me the chance for that contact later down the road.. I just felt that was a cop out myself. Sorry for the moans folks, I am feeling quite bitter this morning! Annoyed that I felt I was making a bond with her again and then it blew up in my face!! Well deffo on NC even though may have to speak with her about phone at some point soon..
  23. andy5128
    Hey Ryan Well I have joined the NC club too, so only a few days behind you!! Stick with it mate, it's tough as been down this road before but it's worth doing to get yourself sorted. Andy
  24. andy5128
    See my thread I am back on NC, will need to speak with her at somepoint to sort a mobile phone out as in her name even though my phone. Other than that it's NC all the way as I guess I am just wasting my time doing any other option as it goes ok for a while and then blows up in my face..! LOL Argh, I am annoyed at myself and just fed up now... Never mind eh.. Things can only get better if it's at rock bottom you can only go upwards..!! LOL
  25. andy5128
    Hi Jupiter So no calls yet, so when were you expecting a call?? I am kinda in a similar situation where more like going out as friends at the mo well I say at the mo but only went out for the first time this week! It's hard to know how to approach things. So how long has it been like this as I notice the beginning of this thread was in october last year wasnt it?
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