DavidinArizona

Well, I am brand new to this.. matter of fact just posted my first topic a few short moments ago. I figured what the heck, let me jump in here and see what happens... Your right, people don't change.. maybe they can make some slight changes, control their actions to some degree.. but deep down.. people are simply, who they are. You've obvioulsy got some a very difficult decision to make. If your trying to determine weather or not to give another chance.. I think you need to use your best judgement. If your love is real and genuine, what is one more chance. 6 months from now you don't want to doubt yourself. Here is what I would do.. set some real guidlines, parameters. Discuss this together. List some objectives.. What are you both hoping to gain. Use some type of target date. Make it a reasonable length of time. When you get there.. reevaluate your relationship... Then hopefully you can make a healthy, meaningful decision on how to pursue your life.. There you go.. man.. I'm just shooting from the hip.. Hope I provided something positive.. Good Luck.. Dave

My name is David, July 7th I should celebrate my 13th wedding aniversary. I am 33 years old. I have two children, my girl is 13 and my son is 6. If you asked me a couple of weeks ago how I thought my life was going, I would have exclaimed, "Wonderful!" We have a nice house, it is full of love. The kids are doing great, excited about the summer and my wife and I are in love. We've been together for most of our adult lives. We have always been "best friends." I've provided the very best I can and would do anything for my family. We have a very solid relationship in terms of respect and love for each other. My wife has spent most of her life as a "stay at home" mom. She had a couple of brief part time jobs that covered a span of maybe 18 months. Several years have passed since. Less than a year ago she was ready to venture out, ready to do something once again. She found a part time job at a convience store roughly 7 months ago. Everything had improved since. She felt great being out and doing something. I believed life had once again improved. Life couldn't be better. Within the past month I could tell my wife had something on her mind. Something was bothering her. I would often inquire how she was doing. She always replied, "fine." She was happy, life was good. However, I just knew something was different, something had changed. As I contined to press her from time to time, she held her ground and echoed her content. As the days passed I grew even more certain there was a problem, she had something on her mind. I took her to breakfast, we ran some errands. After returning home I once again urged her to speak with me. And that is when it happened. She took a deep breath, then exclaimed, "here it goes." "I don't think I love you anymore." As I sat dumbfounded and in disbelief, my world started to crumble around me. She continued on, explaing that she had been feeling this way for, (as she put it) a long time. To this day she has not defined "a long time." Over the past couple of weeks I've done most of the talking. I am still trying to understand. I am very confused. My wife does not provide me with much information. She continues in her simplist words, her simplist definition, "I think I need to move on." "I am not in love with you anymore." I don't understand so I am certain there is no way for me to convey our situation fully. I believe I've been doing the "right" thing all these years, to the best of my ability. I can't understand why my wife chose not to confront her feelings, issues. She claims she did not want to deal with it, however we're dealing with it now, and now, it might be too late. I don't want to give up, not on my family, not on my wife. At what point should I realize, I've done everything I can do, the end of my marriage is inevitable? David