mmexpeditor

Hey I'm going through a similar situation, not with a blog, but with an ex that broke up with me some time ago who still wants to keep in touch to see what I'm doing. Although she's with another guy right now and she's totally cold to me, she'll call or contact me every once in a while or ask common acquaintances about what I'm doing/etc. I think it all depends on you and how you feel -- sometimes I feel it's unfair that she can somehow string me along like a Plan B (since I do care about her more than she does about me) and by keeping in touch only the min. necessary to satisfy her needs. But I don't obsess over it and I'm more or less looking forward to my own healing.

Yes it's funny you mention - she called me last night to (apparently) check that I'm ok since she had a bad dream about me or something. I kept the conversation very light and short and excused myself after I asked her if she's ok (she said she isn't and gave me some issues with a few friends/etc. that are driving her crazy = NOT my business so I politely cut her off). Anyway before I dwell on this some more -- I'm actually glad that I found these forums because before doing so I thought that I was the only one in the whole world who felt this way after a break-up (it's actually my first break-up where I am the dumpee; all the other ones I've been the dumper). Now I realize that the feelings I have are quite common and they can be tied into the stages of grief/etc./etc.

Yes you are right, although in hindsight those reasons were unfounded and childish -- the benefits of what we had together highly outweighed the drawbacks... Or maybe it's the fact that I still have feelings for her that makes me say this, who knows...

Hi all, Here's my own story w.r.t. a recent breakup; I wonder what everybody thinks and any future predictions: (1) a few years ago I met this girl, initially she was not interested in me and she started a short term relationship after I met her. However, I was persistent and in the end she broke up with her guy in less than 1 month and we ended up together; (2) we were together for almost 2-3 years during which I somewhat fell out of love with her -- she moved out-of-state for school and eventually started acting very desperate, wanting to move in with me and so on. We were together, however, and saw each other every few weeks/etc. I don't think she cheated on me and I never did either, but I was comfortable in this 'long-distance' relationship where I had the upper hand. (3) eventually I think she felt some of my reservations and blatantly asked me if she's 'the one' for me, to which I responded evasively. She took a job out of state and immediately lost it (to this day I don't know all the details, something between her getting fired and/or the company downsizing). Seeing this I immediately said she could come back and move in with me, but then rescinded on that offer thinking that I'm doing it more out of pity than love. (4) she got really pissed and without breaking up with me, she took a job out of the country for 3 months -- once she moved out I started to be nicer to her realizing that indeed I *did* love her. (5) the irony was that now that I did want her, she didn't want me anymore -- she found a guy in her new workplace and they started going out together, she stopped taking my phone calls, started to be cold to me, etc., etc. All negative signs. (6) initially I was firm with her and told her that I was wrong to mistreat her and that I wanted to fix things and get her back. The more I was nice to her, the more time she spent with the other guy and the more 'desperate' I got -- needless to say she did not come back to me. (7) she moved back and before I was able to do anything to win her back (within 2 weeks) she moved again overseas to contine her job there and be with the new boyfriend. Now that was 6 months ago, in the first weeks she was with her new guy she was e-mailing me and calling every once in a while saying that she made a mistake, although she did not say she wanted to be back with me. I was nice to her asking her to come back to me -- of course it didn't happen. In the last few weeks I found out her phone number and ended up calling her and making myself available, being nice, etc., etc....she's talking to me on a friendship level which I somehow hate... Anyway, that's about it, not much else to say -- part of me still wants her back as I do realize that we had a very good, complementing relationship, but now it looks like it won't happen. I'm also being an idiot for being super nice to her rather than moving on and letting her realize what she lost. Any ideas, comments? THanks!