fairydust

we have discussed at great length all the problems we've had over the past and he's agreed to go to counselling if we got back together. but what i'm confused about is do you think he's just playing me? do you think he's just sugar coating by saying he needs time, or is he genuinely trying to make the right choice?

the bottom line is that you've judged her on her past (because it's not squeaky clean like yours) which has now made you not trust her. we all have different sexual tastes and we've all done stuff that we may or may not do again. she should have pre warned you about meeting a past conquest. but it may be so irrelevant to her (yes shock horros..women can just have sex without emotions these days)...that she may have just not thought it important. what you need to do is decide whether you and her share the same morals and whether she can give you what you need. but if you truly like this girl stop focussing on her past and concentrate on now!!! remember that you are the one making an issue out of this....it's up to you.

also another thing....he starts his new job tomorrow...should i text to see how it went. or should i stick to Nc? thanks!

below is the e mail he sent me before xmas.... i will say this only once, I do love you!! What we have/had is more than anyone can ever dream of having (although it was in a v short period of time)!!! i am also out of sorts over the whole thing too. I suspected you may have still had feelings for me, but i didnt want to be the cocky old **** and say it , as *** likes to say. I would too value your friendship, and will treat it with respect and integrity and coffe on occasion would be nice. On the whole feeling thingy, As you know i'm not the best when it comes to the love thing and talking about it etc. I am trying to improve and i hope you have noticed a difference, but we are both now in relationships with significant others at a bummer time of year!!! Also this all has happened so quickly I am just holding back a little to see how it can pan out, a little wisdom needs to be applied as you know the sayig about fools and rushing!!! lol i hope you understand, i like to take a bit more thought over things these days. you are vibrant, enigmatic and strong, (and v horny)!!... they are all something that drives me. Lets see how the friendship pans out. also i should add that on boxing day we both ended up going to the same club. he text me that night saying how great i looked..etc. anyway that night i was really smashed....wasn't expecting to be around the ex so drank like i would on a girls night out. however my friends and his friends knew each other so we became one big group. now i'm a nightmare sometimes when i'm drunk and i did ask some stupid questions like when he was thinking of splitting up with his gf etc. came accross as a bit needy and desperate which was all down to the drink and being around him and his friends. i felt insecure and a bit nervous. he really didn't like the way i acted that night and he said that i let him down. i was a bit annoyed at this as i wasn't his gf that night...plus he made no effort to make me feel at ease etc. anyway...thought i'd give you a bit more info! lol

right here's my story and would appreciate some opinions etc please! me and ex been in three year on/off relationship. we split last feb....did ten months of no contact. we both found other partners etc. i was happy..although i still loved him but had accepted that we were no more and was getting on with my life. anyway we got back in touch in november. we were e mailing texting etc...which were pretty flirty. he ended coming up to my house one night and we had a few glasses of wine. when he left i realised that i still had strong feelings for him. i text him to say i didn't think we should see each other again. we chatted on msn for a bit and he admitted that he still had feelings for me. we met up again two days later and talked and agreed that we could try and be friends and see how it all panned out. anyway....he bought me xmas pressies, i finished with my boyfriend as i was just prolonging the inevitable. my ex is still with his gf (been togther 4 months)....my ex has told me that he still loves me, that he'll never find what we have again but he's scared of taking the chance with me because of past history etc. he's worried that he'll mess it up again and hurt me. we've talked loads about everything the last few weeks and he said that if we were to get back toegther he'd want us to move in etc. anyway...i suggested that we should have space because of him still being in a relationship. i told him that i wasn't going to wait around for him and in all honesty if he hasn't the balls to finish with her now and make a go of it with me...he never will. there is a slight complication...in that we all work together!! he's said that he wants to be 100% sure he's making the right choice, and is worried about the aftermath on everyone in work etc. he's just started a new job so will be leaving the place we work. so...do you think he's just 'letting me down gently' with the whole 'i'm not sure stuff' do you think he may be waiting until he moves jobs so it's not awkward? how will he know what choice to make when we aren't in touch? i've grown so much in the last ten months how will he get to see the 'new me'? opinions...advice would be great thanks! xx