nikkim74

I think that you need to see him first and feel out the current state of things between you guys. I don't know if you want to demand that he stop "talking" to this other girl; if it's just a friendship, then that's not cool of you and that might turn him off. You can't make any assumptions at this point. After so long apart, I don't think you can say "If he really loved me..." Do you even know each other anymore? People can change in three years. Or perhaps time and distance has made you romanticize the relationship? I think you need to be really careful here; you were obviously hurt a lot when he broke up with you before, so you don't want to set yourself up for more heartache. If you truly love him, then just wait and see how it goes. If you two decide to date seriously, then let him know that you want to be exclusive. And I definitely don't think you should think of strategies to "win him over." If he doesn't see how amazing you are and doesn't feel a certain way about you, then you don't need him. Sorry for the hard line, but I don't want you to put yourself in a bad situation. Let us know how it goes!

The other night, I was out with a girlfriend and some of her friends. We were drinking. I had taken some back pain medication (stupid, I know) and I guess it didn't mix so well with the alchohol, because I became extremely intoxicated. When we were leaving the party we were attending, we had to take two cabs, as we wouldn't fit in one. I ended up in the cab alone with this guy (friend of a friend, and I had met him several times before). We were supposed to meet up again with everyone else, but somehow they went to a different location. The guy asked if I wanted to go to an after-hours club with him and his other friend, and I did. He was still giving me drinks at the after-hours place, and that's when I started having black-outs. I mean real black-outs, where I must have been awake, but have no recollection of what was happening. I do recall him kissing me at the club, but it was very hazy, and when I "woke up" we were having sex at his place. But hours had passed. I don't have a memory of agreeing to go with him or sleep with him. But once I woke up, I didn't stop what was happening for a while and I didn't say anything. I just kind of went along with what was happening once I regained consciousness, mainly because I was confused and embarrassed. I've never had that happen before. I feel like it was just a drunken mistake, but have some nagging doubts in the back of my head. There are bruises on my arms, where it looks like someone held me down, and there's a bruise on my back. I feel depressed, but I don't want to blame him, because he was drinking too. I think he's a nice guy, but I'm not sure how nice someone can be if they had sex with a woman who was that intoxicated. One of my friends suggested that maybe he had slipped something in my drink, but I can't see that happening. I definitely don't want to cause trouble, so I probably won't say anything. I just had to get it off my chest. I know it was stupid to agree to go with him to the after-hours place when I was that drunk, and I feel really bad about myself. Any advice?