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about2giveup

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  1. about2giveup
    I honestly don't think she is cheating. However, I don't think it is medical or menopause either. I believe she has set in her ways and is completely content with the way our lifes are. No matter how much I talk or how much I try to change things, it all seems like a desperate attempt to hide the inevitable. I am waiting the next few weeks for the medical prospect to be cleared up. Since I have tried everything a number of times if it is not medical my future looks like life without intimacy. Its not like I just decided to be a quitter.. this has been going on for quite some time. 10-03 to 10-04 16 times, 10-04 to 10-05 18 times, 10-05 to 10-06 16 times. So for sleeping in the same bed everynite for 1095 days and only being intimate 50 of them is just not enough for me. I had talked to her in 2003 that the sex was rare and she said I was crazy, that our sexlives was fine. So in oct of 2003 I started keeping track. If it turns out not to be medical I will have some serious decisions to make.
  2. about2giveup
    I like that way you think!... I am there.. think positive.. will do... I guess I can wait that much longer... appt isnt until the 20th and then whatever test or care will be needed.
  3. about2giveup
    I haven't sat down and talked with her about this again, I think I am just tired of having the same agruement. On the bright side (I hope) is that she told me today she made an appointment today for the doctor. She says she hasn't been feeling right. Soooo . .this could be one of two things.. 1. something could really be wrong (don't want that" or 2. this is just one more reason for us not to be intimate (don't want that either) I can't win for losing.
  4. about2giveup
    So, I have been thinking. Maybe I am over-reacting. I mean maybe in long term relationships, maybe the sex fades, maybe I am not the only couple only having sex rarely.
  5. about2giveup
    My heart goes out to you! I am sure it is all very overwhelming to you. The sad thing is Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will the way the world looks at gltb. All we can do is take each day with a grain of salt and keep a few things in focus everyday. Remember you are not alone 1 out of 4 people is gltb and for everyday that passes where you are yourself there is someone way way way back in the closet watching you hoping you break through so that someday they will feel that much safer for them to take the same steps you are. As for high school get yourself a calendar put a smiley face on graduation day.. and start marking off the days that will begin the beginning of your future.. dont mark them off as "today sucked" mark them off as "hurray I am one day closer" Life is good!! Honest!!! As for the people surrounding you with negativity...well .. .. to be frank... to hell with them..they honestly are uneducated and its people like you and the pain you live that moves every gltb forward. Do yourself a favor instead of taking it and holding it and having it all build up with anger.. turn it around take it ..learn from it... take notes... so that when you are stonger you can help the next person just like you. Maybe this is your purpose in life. Maybe you are here to live to be strong because somewhere down the road you will need to be strong for someone else. Try looking on line for teen trans help..there are so many good organizations out there and if you don't have one locally.. then you are a smart kid... start one! Good luck!!! I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Do yourself a favor, hold off taking any big steps until you are out of school and you are officially your own person. Remember the smiley face! Remember to find one good thing everyday, don't dwell on things you can not change, but do the best you can to change the things you can!
  6. about2giveup
    Thanks! I am going to keep trying. Your idea can't hurt...lol... I guess I will give it a try. Its been a while I am sure she will put out soon.. then I will have to wait another 2 months. I still have hope. I just think it will suck to come to the realization that I am just not attractive to her anymore.
  7. about2giveup
    If you don't mind..what was the age difference... In our relationship she is closing in on 50 and I am 42. It never mattered before..but the age factor has crossed my mind as to why we arent having sex. we hit 2 months yesterday without so much as a decent kiss. This morning when I was getting up at 5 for work she did roll over.. snuggle and whisper in my ear.. I miss you (since during the week we dont see each other).
  8. about2giveup
    It sounds like the two of you have taken it slowly and after a bumpy (no pun intended) start the two of you have choosen to get to know each other. You have given each other plenty of time to move on or move over. I say go for it.. if he says yes it can only get better. If he says no, then he is letting you go to find someone who will appreicate you. Good luck! I wish the best for you!
  9. about2giveup
    So you are telling me you are not with partner anymore. Just to help ease my mind, your partner wasn't cheating right?
  10. about2giveup
    I agree 100% with you. It is time for another talk. I have to figure out how to approach the topic without making her upset. (she has said in the past that whenever I bring up the topic it makes her feel pressured and it is hard for her to have sex with me when it is not spontanous.) I will put some thought into it and try to figure out the correct way to have this without ruining all the good things we have going.
  11. about2giveup
    So we went away for the weekend. It was a very nice weekend. We went to a street festival in the afternoon, had dinner and drinks by the riverfront, cuddled and watched a movie later that evening. Sunday gradually woke, snuggled went for brunch and then went to a harvest festival. We headed home and we sang along with oldies on the radio. It was a very nice drive and a great bonding weekend. We returned home unpacked,cuddled on the couch and then off to bed. hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm did I mention sex at all.. nope.. This is starting to hurt ALOT.. I don't think she finds me sexually attractive anymore. I think I am just her cuddle bunny.
  12. about2giveup
    I don't mean to sound negative or like I am being picky about suggestions. I have tried all of the about.. Her work is great. She doesn't think I only want her for sex. Honestly, there was a time when I did seem to be a bit pushy for sex. That is when we had the whole (first) talk. So I did all she asked. I honestly do not try anymore.. when I say that I don't mean I am not loving, flirty and playful with her I am. That is all good.. its just after all the playing and its bedtime she puts her arm around me , gives me a kiss on the cheek, says I Love you, I reply and we go to sleep. PERIOD. When I say I think she is content with the way things are. I am dead serious. The last time we had this conversation , she had 100 excuses of why we don't and explained she wants to, its just all the reasons and our schedules I even went to huge extremes to make the time and still nothing happens. We do have sex but if once a month we are lucky. The last time was 8-4-06. I did wake one morning at the end of august we were both playful our daughter was packing to go back to college and she said lets get up and I will help you with that.. I said playingly... I have something else you could help me with.. she gave me kisses and said the usual.. lets get up ..shower,.. do a few things and we will do that later.. I said later never happens.. she hugged me and said it will. Well, I am still waiting for later. I will comment.. I love her and I don't have ANY intentions on leaving her. BUT, if I wanted a roommate I would have put out a personal ad. I just think we somehow got so comfortable with each other and enjoy each others company and enjoy doing things together somehow the sex got moved way down the list. Sad thing is I think I am the only one who misses it.
  13. about2giveup
    We used to be quite passionate. There have been so many changes in our 9 years together it has become quite confusing to me to what I am allowed to do or not do. She is very good at the flirting and playing, but that is as far as it ever goes. I suggested the herbal things I have asked if it is menopausal since she is nearing 50. She insists its not and herbal things are not required. I honestly don't think she understands the seriousness of this all. I don't have a clue how to get to her. (without confrontation)
  14. about2giveup
    update.so my partner took night off last night. I did all the smoozing.. got home from work early, made her dinner. Did the lovie dovie stuff. No pressure. She is great with the little kisses.. (did I mention the only kissing we ever do is just pecks) anyway, I wasn't out for sex last nite, since I have refused to make a pass or ask for sex since this is now 3 yrs of trying. Anyway, I said to her I have to get up early how bout we go to bed. I will hold you until I fall asleep. Which we did. Which was nice, maybe too nice. Since that is all we ever do and she seems to be content with it and seems to think there is nothing wrong with our sexlife no matter what angle I seem to use to let her know her contentment is my anguish. I really need things to change. I am missing the intimacy.
  15. about2giveup
    Thanks for the input and the welcome.
  16. about2giveup
    Thanks I agree with you. Its just ..well.... certain desires are killing me! lol
  17. about2giveup
    My partner and I have been together for 9 years. We work opposite shifts and finanically we can't change that right now. So we have saturday and sunday. In the beginning like all couples we couldnt keep our hands off each other. as the years passed the sex got less and less. I have mentioned this to her. we have gone over it a 100 or more times. the more it is brought up the less sex we have. She says she loves me and its that we are just too busy, or one of us is sick. She said she didnt like that I was always coming on to her or always asking for sex that was one of the reasons. then it was she felt pressured. there is always a reason. If it wasnt for the lack of sex our lifes would be great. We have everything else a couple could want. We are down to having sex maybe 18 times a year. Am I over reacting? Should I move into the spare bedroom since I feel more like her bestfriend and a roommate then I do her lover?
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