melh14975

I've been reading through these posts and perhaps I got a bit impatient or I haven't looked around enough, if so please direct me. I'm pretty much convinced its over and this time next year he'll be married to her even though he never married me but... that little part that says if there's a possibility, how do I not wreck it and heal myself anyway so that if it doesn't happen I'll still be good. We need to communicate about our son but I need clear boundaries, and when I've tried to talk about it he gets upset- but if you read my other posts you'll see it hasn't stopped him from going out tonight. So what do you do when you have to negotiate a parenting relationship? NC sounds great to me. I could do with a break. So is it as simple as I only talk to him about our son? I still want to be friends - which I know is not possible right now even if he thinks it is. I need to get distance emotionally so I don't go off into floods of tears. I'm really good at not making phone calls because I hate the phone.

Afraid probably isn't close, terrified might be better because its not just me, its me and my son. And I'm a big girl I can take care of myself but he's just a baby who loves his dad. And I don't want to give ultimatums while my partner is all confused (and I'm all confused) and its not like I really know what I'd demand anyway. His male friends (who all like 20 years older than us) are telling him he's an idiot (because for whatever reasons they like me) and he just says he doesn't want to end up bitter and twisted with messy divorces like them.

This is the first time I've ever done anything like this but my friends have their own issues and views so I'd rather get impartial opinions. My partner and I have been together for nearly 13 years (Since we were 18) and like anyone we've had ups and downs and broken up and gotten back together. Anyway, we have a ten month old son who is beautiful beyond belief and have bought a nice house, all of that normal stuff. Anyway to cut the story of my life short, he's been a bit stressed, when asked what was wrong it was alwys 'nothings wrong', then the other night it was 'I'm not happy with my work' then he comes home early from a conference and while his parents are pruning the fruit trees outside tells me 'I love you but I don't think I'm in love with you, you're my best friend and I don'[t know who else to talk to' then tells me he's become 'emotionally close' with a female friend of his whose going through all sorts of issues herself but that he's not having or planning an affair and he had to tell me all of this because he didn't want to lie to me. I haven't kicked him out of the house or anything because I (perhaps stupidly) love him beyond belief and he's still talking about future plans (like studying OS for a year and all of us going) but am I just deluding myself? We went through something similar a few years ago (pre-baby) and we came through stronger than ever but I have a baby now and I don't have the emotional energy to go through that rollercoaster again. Anyway, any opinions appreciated.