alleycat99

Honey I agree with what everyone is saying, but it sounds like you having a really tough time dealing with all of that. There are hotlines available where you can access counselors 24/7 (make sure they are legit!!) Check to find out what's available in your area (there are often local numbers) but if not, you can find 1800 numbers (those are the ones you have to be careful of). Or, depending on your availability, go see a counselor, the only problem with that is sometimes you have to wait a few weeks, whereas you can access a phone counselor anytime. You need to talk about all of these emotions you're feeling. Some of the things you wrote have me concerned about your state of mind. If it seems like it's absolutely too much and you can't deal with things, and you consider hurting yourself or someone else, please get yourself to the nearest ER or call a crisis hotline.

Well, we do have a solid foundation, and we talk about everything. He knows that I had sex with that guy and didn't even know it, I just didn't tell him the rest of the story. As for if he's in the same frame of mind that I am about marriage, he mentions it too. We are both extremely happy. The reason I've been wondering whether to tell him is because we've recently had discussions about his pot smoking past, and he wants me to make sure I know everything about him since we are getting to a very serious stage in our relationship and be able to love him for who he is. He's not particularly religious, we're both Catholic, but he only goes to church if I don't want to go alone. I love him so much and don't want to lose him for a choice I made years ago. Our values are very compatible, we share many of the same views on important issues in marriage, raising children, and relationships. I appreciate all of your advice, I think I'll try and find out his opinion on abortion and go from there. If I do tell him, how should I do it?

4 years ago I had an abortion when I slept with a guy because I was so drunk I didn't know we were having sex (first and only time something like that happened). The guy was supportive of my decision and I really feel it was the best decision considering the circumstances. Now I'm with someone I truly love, we've been dating for 6 months and I would love to marry this guy. I thought I should tell him about the abortion but then a friend told me she thought it would just make me feel better (ease some guilt) and make him feel bad. She thought it would be a detriment to our relationship. I'm honest about everything else. But I don't know how he'd feel about this-his opinions haven't come up in conversation. I want to do what's best for the relationship, but I sure don't want to make him feel bad. Even though I mentioned guilt a few sentences ago, I am a mentally healthy adult who is fully adjusted to the decision I made, so I really want to make sure the decision I make now about telling him is the right one for the relationship. Advice??