dazedandconfusedbydestiny

My husband never approaches me anymore for cuddling sex etc, I always have to make the first move. Anymore it's always the same answer. I am tired. So and so hurts. Lately he starts Itching when I kiss him or anything else a big turn off.

Then 2 nights ago he brings up what the perfect woman would be and I can guarantee he wasn't describing me. He claims he was joking, but I wonder.

We have been married 16 yrs this june. Anymore any action like kissing, making love, cuddling is a chore that were going through but never what it should be.

Yes we have tried counceling, yes we have tried other things as you can see from my other post if you want. But I know I feel it is no longer worth it.

Mainly remember, do not believe the bf when he says if you love me you will do it. Etc.. This time should be as special to you as to him. If your feeling pressured by him to have sex. Then don't do it.

Believe me I plan to no matter what i do. Keep my family in my thoughts especially with my children when it comes to any decision that will be made. The only thing that has kept me here this long is the children.

no he has never lied to me before. He has always been there when I needed someone, I will be there for him now. I agree I do hope he learned from his mistake.

Death is different from one to another. You will never really ever forget them, but remember they are now angels looking down on you from above and will never really forget you either.

Would you drop a friendship with someone, who just hapens to be your sons father. Just because he served time for doing something. So many people tell me I need to drop him. blah blah blah. I am not going to drop a 26 yr old friendship because hes in prison for doing something stupid. If we dropped everyone who ever did something stupid we all wouldn't have friends.

Yes I love him, yes I am positive hes my sons father because he was the only one I slept with for several months around that time.

Yes I am married but my marriage is ending. My husband doesnt even touch me unles i make the first move. I go to kiss him and he starts itching. I am so ready to leave this marriage. My kids are old enough where they aren't going to be as impacted by our divorce as if they were younger.

I am 36 will be 37 in july, in 5 yrs I will have 2 in college and one finishing up high school. Do I want to continue this marriage that has never been the same since the first time he hit me. NO. Do I want to try counceling NO we tried it and didn't work.

Though my friend is in prison, he at least has never raised even his voice at me where my husband is capable of alot worse.

I am just going to stop talking on here to people when no one can see past that hes in prison not that he has always been a really good friend. Nor can I help that I never stopped loving him in the whole time I have known him.

These boards are suppose to be supportive and give objective views. But so far all I have gotten is OMG HES IN PRISON DROP HIS BUTT.

would you need a paternity test if you had sex with only one person in several months and wound up pregnant. I doubt any of you are thinking about that. You just view it as well i was having sex with 2 men. When that is not the case.

and yes i know my marriage is pretty much over, my husband hasnt touched me in months unless i make the first move. I am beyond counceling. We have tried it and have not got anywhere. So what if Bob is in prison for doing something stupid. I am not going to turn my back on him for something as stupid as his conviction. Would be one thing if he murdered someone, did child molestation, drugs etc.. But it was not for one of those reasons. He was convicted for being in possession of a gun when he had a previous felony. Which makes no sense since he was a deputy sheriff, and if your a felon you can't be a deputy sheriff

how much more a woman needs to know whos the father, other then she didnt have sex with her husband for awhile around the time of the conception. One of the reasons that caused the fight in the first place. Plus my son not looking at all like my husband, hes identical to bob. Would you tell someone who hadnt had sex with her husband for 3 months or more who has a one night stand and gets pregnant. That the childs not from the one night stand I don't think so. My periods were like clock work, and only time i missed them was when i was pregnant.

EVery time I send him a letter, he has not gotten it yet. Thats 6 so far, arghhh. UP til a few days ago I couldn't tell him in person. Now He does know I am trying to reach him. Will he add me to his visitors list, I hope so. It's either that or i wait til hes released. If you want to know where hes at and havent seen my other post about this situation please read.

WAs there anything around that time that was really traumatic. I find that alot of my o.c.d I have is because of witnessing a murder when i was 16.

You can try counceling but I wouldn't worry over much about it. You could be as bad as that tv character Monk. But with just the few perks you have, I wouldn't worry about it unless you start getting obsessive about things being so far apart, certain numbers, having to wash your hands continously etc.

Believe me I plan to follow through and find out deffinetly. If anything it will set my mind straight about his parentage. A friend also recomended calling the councelor at the prison hes at and see if i can get a message to him. Being my friend is about to be released in 10 weeks hes been seeing the councelor to get ready for the outside. He may have brought up what I wrote about. I do not know.

I feel better that I wrote him about everything and yes I told him that my son was his son. Among everything else I wanted to tell him but never could.

I guess asking for another males point of view I might be able to get an idea of what he may be going through and why I hadn't heard from him yet. One part of me is glad I haven't and hopes it means hes doing some serious thinking. The other part of me is scared that he may have changed and is no longer the man I knew for years.

sounds like o.c.d. My 2 daughters have it. Obessive Compulsive Disorder.

I agree with shorty and avman

and yes if he wants to get to know his son, I wouldn't stand in his way. After all I opened this can of worms by telling him after all these years that the boy was his. I do not worry that my husband would hurt the child hes never raised a hand against the child though he has against me. The father of the child knows this.

I am really trying to get a point of view from other males on what he may be going through thinking about. Given its been 2 weeks since I sent the first letter to him, I know giving all that I threw at him that he has alot to think about. I just hope we can get to a point where we can discuss how we want to move forward on this. I do not want to hurt my son, nor do I want to keep my friend from getting to know him.

Any decision that is going to be made is going to be a hard one. I do know I am taking the chance that my husband will go bulistic on me, I do know that I am taking the chance that my son will hate me for the rest of his life. But all I can do is try and correct everything.

the birth father is in prison,

and other then the child looking absolutely like him, the mother and the husband didnt have sex around that time. His blood type not matching the husbands. No there hasnt been a dna test done to determine it YET. That is the next step.

Believe me your no more confused then I am at the moment. I have been dealing with it for 19 yrs. It hasn't got any easier.

YOu need to realize that even if alchohol is fun, its not a answer. If your not comfortable doing what ever your doing.Then don't do it. This is coming from someone who use to drink a case of beer a night to escape her memories.

I am in the same boat here, with the one guy i always thought was my soul mate and true love. We have always told each other we loved each other etc, but we could never make a comitment to being with each other permanetly.

How would you react if you find out you have a 12 yr old son. Yes you were told that the mother was pregnant when she found out. But you never let her know if you thought the baby was yours.

You have been friends with this woman for 26 yrs, you have a one night stand using 2 forms of protection and still she gets pregnant.

Would you want to get to know your son?

Would you want your son to know your his father if he was never told?

What would you do if your friend was in a abusive relationship with her husband and she was afraid to tell him.

Doesn't help that my friend is currently serving a 5 and half month sentence of a 2 yr sentence for doing something absolutely stupid and should have known better.

I know this is a weird position, weird questions. But honestly I would like to know how another male would feel about this. To get a idea on what my friend might be going through at this time.

yeah all the time, get accomplished what you can now, because life has a way of throwing punches at you when you least expect it.

Was easy since i lived over 200 miles from him, and we didnt see each other that often. Plus i told him every time i was pregnant with my other children. Thats the kind of relationship we had. We talked about everything. I guess I hoped he would ask if the child was his, when he didn't i didnt press it. I guess i was afraid he would think i lied about being on the pill but i should have known he wouldnt. All my life i was rideculed by my mother and i was afraid what would happen if i pressed about him being the father. I had hoped over time he would ask but he never did and i got tired of waiting. I just recently sent him a letter telling him about the child we created and why i never came forward on it. I just hope he understands. We havent seen each other in a long time but we talked alot on the phone. I havent been able to reach anyone on his phone recently thats why i sent the letter.

because my husband and i hadnt had sex in several months around that time, plus the fact that my son looks alot like my true love

I know i have been doing alot of soul searching persay. I do know what ever it chose its going to hurt someone. ARgh