UnBroken

He asked how my weekend was and basic small talk. But I stayed strong and told him politely that he had caught me at a bad time (which is a big fat lie lol), and that I had to let him go. He then asked if he could call me later, and I told him sure. After all, I do wanna talk to him, but I don't want to seem too available. I hope I'm doing this right! lol

Well, I survived another day of NC...and guess what? It worked!!! He called today just as I was leaving work (he knows my schedule), so it leads me to believe he couldn't wait to call me!! To all who responded to my cry, I am extremely grateful. I am now a firm believer that NC is highly effective. And Miracle, I will definitely take you up on your offer to "analyze" my situation sometime soon!

Blender, Wow, thank you for your response. You said everything I needed to hear right now. Your advice and words of encouragement are giving me the strength I need! And Mark, I'm proud of your determination to stick to your NC. I know it's been hard for you as well.

Well actually... I did answer his calls. Not always right away, sometimes I'd make him wait a few hours (so he didn't think I don't have a life!). We had pretty decent conversations, and I kept things light. So in essense, my current NC streak is 2 days. That's why I'm so torn as to whether I should call or not...the past few days we've had "friendly" conversations, so to speak. So I just don't know if he's testing me or what...like, is he hoping I'll call him.

Ok thanks Mark... I'm gonna try to relax (deeeeep breath........) Too bad I don't drink cuz I could really use one right now!

OMG I'm dying inside. I know earlier I said that I'm gonna be strong and not call him, but I'm seriously going crazy! I think I've grabbed my phone like 30 times in the last 10 minutes! I could really use some advice here. My ex initiated contact last week and called me every day until 2 days ago. He hasn't called since. I was gonna do NC until he called me again...but is it OK if I just bite the bullet and call him?? Since he was the one who originally made the contact? Or will NC be more effective?? Ughhh...I'm going crazy here.

lol Solo... Well, they do say great minds think alike!

I was wondering something. There are so many people who post on this site seeking advice: dumpees, dumpers, and those in current relationships alike. Have there been instances of an ex or significant other posting on this site about "you" as well, and you or they eventually found out? Also...there seem to be so many great people on this site who are looking to rekindle something with an ex (I'm guilty too), and from reading the posts in this forum, everyone seems so great and capable of great love. Based on these perceptions, I was curious as to whether anyone on this forum have met.

Thank you Brassplum, but I'm really not that strong at all! It takes so much for me to not just blurt out "I want you back!!!" lol I appreciate everyone's advice...thank you!! But just a quick update: he hasn't called me in 2 days. But I'm not going to call him. I have a feeling that he thinks he's sucked me back in by calling me so frequently this past week, but I'm one up on him. I'm gonna do complete NC...and hopefully he'll break down and call me again!!

Mark, Bassplum30 is right. Rehashing this isn't gonna help you, nor will it help others help you. You are telling us what she's done to hurt you, but at the same time, you keep defending her. If you're waiting for someone to tell you that she's the one for you, and that you should fight for her, it's probably not gonna happen. I would suggest making a list of pros and cons. Pros = all the reasons you would take her back, things about her that make you happy. Cons = what she's done wrong, what you've done wrong, differences, arguments, things you cannot change about her, etc. I think once you've done that it'll help you sort out all your confusion a bit....and help you see things clearly rather than going around in circles.

How would I go about asking him what he really wants from me without making myself seem overly anxious to get back together? I know in my heart that I would love a second chance, but I don't wanna appear vulnerable to him.

Hi Mark, I'm new to this forum and I was just reading through all of the threads on this post of yours. While I can't offer any real advice on your situation since I'm fairly confused myself with my situation, I can say this: We all make mistakes, but it seems to me that the mistakes you made throughout your relationship were either a.) insignificant, or b.) brought on by her actions. You seem like a great, genuine (and not to mention cute!) guy. I can't speak for all women, but as for me, if I could find a guy who cared about me as deeply as you do her, I would be on cloud nine. And I'm saying this to tell you that there is another woman out there who will take the love you offer her and cherish it...not abuse it like your ex is doing and has done throughout the past. You deserve better (we all do). I totally empathise with you, and I truly hope that you find happiness again soon...with or without a new relationship (but definitely NOT with her!). Angie

I'm new to this wonderful forum and although I've read some great advice in previous posts, I would really like to have some insight on my situation. When I met my ex he lived out of state. We met while he was visiting family in my town and we hit it off wonderfully. After he went back home, we spoke every single day and he sent me flowers for my b-day the following month. He flew back out a number of times to see me, each time was better than the last. I also flew out to see him (he wanted me to fly out there so bad he even offered to pay for my flight since he knew my financial status wouldn't allow an added expense). He would tell me constantly that I'm making him unbelievably happy and he is so glad he found me. He had just aquired a business and told me that he wished he could come out to see me more often, but with the new business, I would have to be patient. His exact phrase was "I promise, if you're patient with me and all that is going on right now with work, I will make you the happiest girl in the world." I was elated. Well, about one month after my trip to see him, he started to change. He seemed to have less patience with me, didn't call nearly as much, and cute text messages he'd send me stopped. I questioned his behavior and asked if I had done something to upset him and he insisted it wasn't me...it was his work that was stressing him out. I tried to become the understanding GF and not bother him as much so that he can concentrate on his work...after all, I still had that one line he fed me to keep me happy. Well, it didn't last long because about a month later he told me that he couldn't keep up a long-distance relationship at this point in his life due to his business situation, and he didn't know when he would be ready to commit. I asked if he had met someone else and he swore he hadn't. I was desperate so I told him I would be willing to wait (just like he asked me in the beginning), but after about a month I called and told him I'm better than that and I deserve more, thereforeeee I'm moving on. I did complete NC with him, but he would call periodically (about once every 2 months or so), but I always kept the conversations really short and made it appear as though I was busy. I wasn't rude or emotional, I was friendly with him. Ok, so now it's been about one year since he dumped me, and he started calling again.....but this time he's called every day 2-3 times/day for a week. He said he misses me and he really wishes we could stay in touch. He also mentioned that since me, he's casually dated girls locally and they all turned out to be weird or psychos or whatever. It hurt to hear that he's been dating, but I acted like it didn't phase me. I'm trying to make him think that I am not bothered by what he's done with other girls, and although I would love to be with him again, I haven't let him know that. Oh, and this snippet from a phone conversation yesterday has me perplexed: EX: hang on for a sec (puts me on hold for a min.)...ok so where were we? ME: I think you were telling me about your business meeting. EX: No, actually I think YOU were telling me that you wanted me back, and I said YES. Now, mind you, I NEVER said that, so I laughed it off and made it seem as though he's nuts to even think that. But my question is...why did he say that?? Is that wishful thinking? I really don't know how to proceed here, since I really do want him back but I'm afraid that if I let him know, he'll take advantage of it, and I'll get hurt again. I just want to know why he's calling so frequently now after all this time, and what his intentions are. If anyone could shed some light on this I'd appreciate it immensely!! I apologize for such a long post!!