Spawn

What does everyone think about girls taking the initiative to ask guys out? Is it cool or does it seem desperate and pushy?

we need more girls with that kinda attitude...

there is no set rule for who should ask....anyways, have fun!

Yeah she sent an email saying she's soooooo sorry, her parents did a surprise visit for her birthday, she has this long explanation basically telling that her mom was mad because of her cousin and her mom took her cell phone and turned it off saying it's a waste of money and then took her to visit relatives, and when she got back home, she remembered my number but her mom was talking on the phone with her dad and her aunt was on the phone with her husband so she couldn't call.. She said she's really sorry and hopes I can forgive her..

an email? eh?

lot of drama n excuses there.....you really think she is interested here?

What do guys think if a girl is too wet?

i would love it! i would really want to experience that......never had the luck.

perfectly normal.

i have had all those pains, lost weight, never wanting to leave the bed, hated just about doin everythin..

Things get better thou slowly....

first love is very hard to get over with....

I know what it feels like....since i am going through it.

Feel the pain, hope you learned somethin from it.

Come back here & vent as much as you want.....things do get better at the end of it.

hmm....i think it takes almost 3 to 4 weeks to get over with the ex hangover, i mean the pain starts subsidin a little bit.

But if you have decided to move on then its better to stick with strict NC.

Get some discipline in there.....helps our self esteem and confidence.

everyone tells me how hot i am...

do this! if anyone tells you that......ask them back so what you gonna do about it? would you like to go out with me sometimes...

pretty straight forward i guess.

as long as the person is human....i think looks doesn't matter that much to me.

I have had crushes on people who have been shy, little over weight, some very geeky.....list goes on.

and then i dated one who felt very conscious about her height, i thought she was quiet sweet. She is 5'4 and i am 5'9....

if they can talk, laugh....etc and don't mind going for a movie at weekends.....i will pretty much date em....

I just love girls...

lol....i just need a auto-smacker who gets charged when i am crapped out.

i definetly need a good smack on my bum.

You have more feelings for her and she has a boyfriend. She talks about him to you, not good. You are setting yourself up for more hurt here. She is leading you on and being selfish in my opinion. Well, to be frank, she is giving you some signs for not being interested.

i did cut contact with her and move on. You deserve better.

.. and to make an admission like this also shows that you are honest, truthful, insightful and clearly able to articulate this awareness

 

i gather that you are a man, how then do you face situations? go easy on yourself.. you are likely not facing situations in a way that someone else has prescribed you "should", and you have come to believe it.. and now that critical voice that lives in you, and in all of us for that matter, is having a serious go at you today - a day, i might add, when you're feeling especially down and vulnerable

 

be gentle with yourself today, show yourself a little kindness in whatever way is meaningful to you

thanks for puttin it in a different perspective....feel better.

Well..nobody's perfect, so true furakura

thanks all...yup its a rough day,sea

Hi dave....hope you doing fine?

i am nerve-racking sometimes....

hey shyanne....have anyone of you lie'd before? Do you get upset by it?

I lie a lot when things are like against me just to get out of the situation.

I don't face situations like a man, i hurt myself, i hate lyin and in the end i somehow get out of the situation but not the right way.

I feel i suffer from anxiety offlate....i can't decide on sometimes what to do what not to do.

Like the other day i just pissed off my dad when he was bookin some airtickets....couldn't decide on dates?

and yesterday i mailed my ex that i was happy for her to be back with her ex....again a lie.

I feel like crap today....as usual.

crap i have now posted this in the wrong forum.......i feel so damn out of sorts today.

Thanks guys....really speaking feeling crap today not able to concentrate on anything.

little stressed out, not eating properly also....guess things will be back to normal in few days.

Hi everyone, i got a mail from Aqualin one my exs friend saying that my ex and her ex were back together and that i should now leave them alone. They are gonna get engaged soon.

although i am doing fine now don't feel anything but i send her a mail saying i am happy for her and that she does well.

Actually I don't know Aqualin and i also asked her( my ex) how come she knows my email address, when she doesn't even know me....sounds a bit strange to me, but why would an ex's friend whom i have never met ask me not to contact my ex and tell me to stay away from her when all i am doing is no contact for last 45 days. I have now made a filter for her too and removed the stupid mails from my inbox. No more mails from her side also now.

Anyways the problem is the mail was very emotional from my side, she probably would feel like i still have feelings for her and i also said i regretted being rude to her the last time i had contact.

I told her not to hold any grudges or resentments against me, i have all nice memories about her.

Hope i did ok though......i know i shouldn't have broken the no contact thing should have left the mail simple and short, but couldn't control my emotions though.

But i don't feel hurt at all. I am now going back to NC.

Thanks for reading....

don't worry, as spugly said take him to a doctor....go run!

talking of being friends with exs...

have any of you been friends with with your 1st gf?.....later on in life i mean.

Mike & The Mechanics

When I Get Over You

When I get over you

I'll be who I want to be

I'll sleep where I want to sleep

And laugh at your memory

When I get over you

I'm not gonna need a friend

I'm not gonna tell the truth

I'll never do that again

You'll never see me cry

You're gonna see something new

You're not gonna watch me die

When I get over you

When I get over you

I won't make the same mistake

I don't wanna hear your voice

I don't wanna see your face

I know it's all in the past

And it's long overdue

I know that I won't look back

When I get over you

Did somebody teach you how to lie

And take what you're feeling from

Your eyes

It's a sad disguise

Take it off and say goodbye

You'll never see me cry

You're gonna see something new

You're not gonna watch me die

When I get over you

Did somebody teach you how to lie

And take what you're feeling from

Your eyes

It's a sad disguise

Take it off and say goodbye

When I get over you

I'll be who I want to be

I'll sleep where I want to sleep

And laugh at your memory

When I get over you

I'm not gonna need a friend

I'm not gonna tell the truth

I'll never do that again

When I get over this

I won't make the same mistake

I don't wanna hear your voice

I don't wanna see your face

even after 4 months of breakup and probably around 45 days of strict NC, i am left with loads of feelings for my ex.

NC at the most has helped me look back at the relationship, what was right and wrong, my mistakes and hers, why i put all the blame on me and why i got blamed for the whole breakup.

i still don't know whether i have gained any confidence or self esteem through it.

I have had good times but for now the bad days seems to never end. Its not about missing the ex, its about thinkin why she was not there to work it out when i was there when she needed me the most.

But i have no regrets of loving her and caring for her, i think i will always do that regardless of how bitter the end was.

ya flossing and mouthwash just after you had your food helps....i do only once i mean the brushing thing.

Hi FCtex,

why don't you tell your ex to stop contacting you, if its over between you for so long, have you told her you have a girlfriend now and would like to be with her?

Its sounds harsh but at some point you have to take some bold decision but not at the cost of your current gf.

Regardless of what happenned in the past, its just not right for you and for your current gf.

Stay strong and do the right thing here.

Did you keep in touch with your ex's as well?

No Billy she was my first gf.....and now my first ex too.

I remember she trying the friends thing with me but i told her not to contact me, i don't like the idea of being friends with an ex, she did that and held on to hopes from her ex, and now they are back together.I will never do that. I feel if i am with someone in future it won't be fair to them. she would definetly feel like i am not giving 100% to them. You know trust issues and all, starts creepin in. I don't like holding on to resentments or grudges , hope i do get over with this.

i could never spend the rest of my life with someone calling me 20 times a day and needing to know my exact whereabouts at all times and all that anyway.

There were times in my case too where i felt i couldn't give attention to my work, but she would contsantly call me and i would say to her that i am little busy, then she would start crying for not givin her the importance. I would end up sayin sorry for none of my mistake...

Sometimes she would call and the conversation wouldn't end only....we have talked non stop 7 hours.

The girl was also under curfew, had to be at her place by 9 PM and only could get out at 6PM.....but i didn't hold that against her, we agreed upon talkin over phone for sometime.

But i feel talkin for long hours is not the right thing to do, since she started telling me we are already talking so much what is the point meetin up for 3 to 4 times a week.

but he all of a sudden started accusing me of being too independent and getting all dramatic on me and then eventually we broke up and he is now married to his ex! haha...she can have him...i don't need the drama anyway.

yup my ex is also back with her ex, they are also planning to get engaged.....well good for them.

Loads of drama in my case too.....its just that i ignored all the signs.

If she hangs out with her ex, and cries when she talks about him, then that would be a huge RED flag. If she's not hanging out and talking on the phone with him as if they're still bestfriends, then I wouldn't worry so much. Then again, if you do have a hunch about it, you might still want to be a little cautious. Maybe she's not right for you and you somehow sense it.

I have to let this out....

My ex when we got back together, she used to talk to her ex over phone, it was not a friendly one since she used to tell me, he was tryin to get back with her. But she wouldn't still tell him that she was with me. All their talk over phone would be revolving around how this guy made her so sweat in the relationship, he would make her listen to some moments they spent together and he had actually taped it.

We got back together only after she felt her ex had changed a lot. But whenever we used to talk she would always tell me she had loads of sweat moments with her ex.

hmm....i think i ignored some red flags there.

i thought dating was being the way we are, but the way she made me feel like it seems i should have done somethin special to make her forget her ex.

well thats bad thinking, the key it seems is to take it slow and not gettin serious about it so soon.

Hi,

how do you know that the person you are dating is holding onto hopes from her ex?

more specifically, what can be done for not becoming a rebound?

do you make the relationship special enough for the person to forget about her past?

thanks for all inputs.

thanks coollady, i have a feeling of being used up in a relationship, she was my first, as if when she was through with the grief and all, after having a nice time with me dumps me and cooly gets back with her ex. guess that feeling of being used up will always be there with me.