Spawn

would you prefer to spend some time for a person whom you love and care about but who doesn't care about you at all?

or

would you prefer to find one person who cares for you and would like to spend the whole life with you?

vig, you should cut her off completely from your life man, she is isn't worth your time at all. All you are giving her is a big ego boost and satisfaction of you being there for her regardless of whether she screws up in life with other people or not. You should never be the fallback guy and never take that kinda crap from anybody.

In other words...run from this woman...go hardcore NC. You deserve better.

Hoobastank - The Reason

No Vacancy - Heal Me, I'm Heartsick

Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive

Coldplay - Fix you

Coldplay - A Message

i would have a face to face convo with the girl and perhaps the other one too who send you that message.....clear the things up, you need to know why the heck you are being treated like that.

If still they have problems....tell your guy friends about the problem i am sure they will understand why you not hanging out with them. Cause one excuse may lead to another , they might think you are avoidin them for some reason.....not good, tell them the truth.

Thats pretty immature on their part though.

hmm...emails shouldn't be replied with all the emotions and all. If you feel like giving it to him all in a reply....fine. Not good bottlin up all your emotions.

But i would think the better option would be what spuggly suggested replying with fine....thanks, i will contact you later whenever i feel i am ready, that is incase you have decided to move on and pursue other things in life.

or else just don't mail only.there is no point recallin all those moments once again.

if you get effected by his emotional mails just make a filter for his mails or just block him till your emotions are under control....its simple.

Take care...

ok sounds good.....these are mine.

1. Commitment phobia on her part.

2. Still keeping in contact with her 1st bf, this guy apparently was ready with engagement rings and still she wouldn't let him know that she is with me. Talking all the time about him and not doing anythin about her studies, finding a job, doing somethin about her life.

3. Taking me for granted/ same from my side too i just totally dismissed all the red flags so to speak.....she ended it tho sayin i wasn't giving her space when i asked her to stop the contact with her ex.

hmm....just insert this after your intro (or the Hi's and hellos) "so what do you do when you are not at the gym?"....and take it from there.

can end with " can i call you sometimes"....hope you get the idea.

not soundin too boring am i?

I have been through most of your threads orlander, keep on trying, there are enough fish out there and with your maturity and the lessons learnt from your last relationships its seems you might land up with a good one there.

link removed and all the online dating thing, sometimes they all feel so unreal.

I saw her at a bookstore and approached her.

hmm...so have you tried any new bookstores, mate?

Hang in there...life is always full of surprises right round the corner.

I am sure when you meet that person all the effort you did put in and the wait, those won't make you feel like eternity any more.

Good Luck!

th don't send that mail....you know it very well she might send more of such emotional responses back to you and it is effecting you no doubt. filter her mails and move on.

Why you wanna fuel things up?

let it go...

Dear S,

You just got over her mate.....get out there and start dating.

S

I probably can't, she broke my trust and really never respected/caredfor my feelings in the relationship.

So yes, trust and respect plays a big role.

receive mail, delete mail easy as pie.

if the emails bother you then why not just plainly ignore them, make a filter for those emails and make em delete automatically.

It won't hurt much, she can mail all she wants to.

hmm look at your post once again, I will quote some of it.

I am skeptical, always have been cause she's messed with my heart alot, especially when she was with her now ex boyfriend.

She has always been back and forth between us, but she claims and has several times she's not in love with him anymore, but in love with me.

I should mention that we have remained on again off again friends so she vents to me alot.

She then started talking to me about him.

When things get little bumpy she breaks off with you and then comes back, a relationship should be stable not like you can just leave whenever you feel like and come back at your own free will. She is very immature in her actions

What should I do? I am waiting for her to move back to my city so we can start our life together, but she says she needs to save some money first.

Seriously you really thinking of having a life with her after seeing so much of disturbing signs, hasn't she messed enough with your life or do you want to take more of it.

have a good job, am attractive and could give her everything, and she knows it.

settingup, you sound like a good person, think about it don't let your heart take over your mind. Take a mature decision and reserve that for someone who really cares about you and respects you.

Good luck.

i don't think she will be ready for a relationship with you at this moment.

The way she is going about it i really don't think she will be over her ex pretty soon.

Take a mature decision, at the moment though she can't offer you more than friendship with the ex lingerrin around.

better move on before its too late.

just think of having fun....thats it.

and ya good luck....

Don't tell him it would take a year or so, the way he seems to be expressing his frustration over sex seems he might not take it the way you think he should.

hmm...just tell him you are not ready as of yet, if he really loves you he would respect that.

bitter, begged a little, not in contact at all, told her not to contact me ever cause of her trying the friends thing on me, i was so very hurt couldn't give her what she wanted, so pretty much in bad terms.

I am hurt cuz the girl i loved ended up meetin her x after 3 yrs and they kissed and had thier time. So i was wondering if this was because i was always nice to her.

well food for thought....why don't you wonder that she is still not over her ex by any means?

I saw your other thread, even after being together with you she was still in contact with her ex. Not good at all, she could have stopped contact with him but she chose not to. Besides she even cheated and you think its all because you were nice to her. Nope what i think and most of others will agree with me she just wasn't faithful.

Being a jerk is very easy, you will have all those girls around you whom you think are after jerks but then you will loose out on those who really would have liked you just the way you are.

There are many good devoted girls out there Amen. Why think about some girl who didn't respect you at all in the relationship?

I was really good to my girl and she betrayed me

well if you always be good to your girl then thats really not a quality a girls looks for.

Let me ask you somethin, what did you do when some kinda argument took place between the two of you and it was because of somethin she did, and you really didn't expect that sort of thing from her. Where you still being nice to this girl?

if you were then thats somethin you need to think about cause at that time you should have told her nope i don't like what you just did and seriously don't expect you to repeat this. period.

The point is : don't give them too much importance, you are the catch but don't pamper them or be caring and stuff when you are supposed to stand up for yourself. Otherwise the next time you are gonna be taken for granted.

The girls want to see you upset, angry when they do somethin bad or if its their fault. Don't play the nice card next time.....consider it as a test.

I am really not sure whether my ex has got back with her ex. I was the rebound so to speak whenever i look back at the relationship.

The point is they have a life, i don't think of her as a loser or a person who messed up in the relationship cause of her feelings for her ex.

Like most of us i was pretty much upset to hear she was back with him ( they are going to get engaged this december it seems). Probably, they understood they couldn't live part from each other, although her ex was little abusive when they were dating, it seems he realizes his mistakes and probably knows what she wants from him.

Your ex's have a right to live, choose what they want to do with their lives, change for the better and if you think they committed hara kiri in the relationship then they need to be given the chance to work it out with somebody else.

It hurts i understand but really you need to leave them alone for their own good.

Hey I was just wondering something. If you are a girl who is pretty flat, and with no curves, Does that mean no guy will like you? Do attractive guys only like girls who have a full chest, and big hips/butt? Does every guy only like that?

 

I am 5'4", 114 pounds and bra size 32 A. ... so yeah I have like no shape. Erg guys are so glad they don't have to worry about this.

You are perfect and i did date you.

So guys...

what is your reasoning about flat girls?

I don't think most of us think like that....i haven't come accross a guy who has told me oh that girl is like this n that. Come to think of it, all of my friends already have gfs and they are very much settled in life.

My ex used to be so obsessed with her height cause me being 5'10 and she being 5'4, had a pretty hard time makin her believe i really never thought about her height as such.

Did anybody make you feel like that?

1. beg - yes, cry - no, promise to change - yes

2. well i have less stress now, i have more time to lot of things than before.

3. No reaction at all, haven't met her nor have any idea what she is upto in her life now.

4 i broke NC probably 4 times...the fourth time it was to tell her to do well in life and make it a good one with her ex who i think she has got back with. I also told her to not contact me henceforth and stop holdin any grudges against me cause she blamed me a lot for the problems in the relationship. I do really hope though she matures and grows up to being a fine woman.

5. its been over 2 months of strict no contact.....and i feel i am pretty much strong enough to take her stupid net speak that she uses to compose her mails,took her off the email filter but don't expect any mails from her side at all. I now understand there is no point reacting to things you really don't care about.

But its strange even after having such an unhealthy relationship i still have a heart that can't stop loving her. huh..so long for being a rebound in my very first relationship. i can manage a smile about it too.

i wanna know what it would be if it were to be a bike

Sometimes I just want to suck it up and be friends, but then I get this unforgettable burning sensation in my heart that reminds me of all the pain and sadness she has caused me.

 

Is it better to ignore or to answer simply.

don't look back not atleast when you are tryin to move on.....if a contact from your ex effects you so much then you should make a filter for deletion of her emails in your mail box.

You are not obligated to mail/contact her any more.....

take care and stay strong.

Damn!!! I'm feeling that if the phone rings it will be someone telling me she had an accident and is dead...

 

Damn anxiety!

comeon man....ok i need help....just to take your mind off that phone now what the heck is this bgp backdoor...

27

i never thought i could ever fall for this girl.

It was my first/last serious relationship...

i am gonna enjoy being single for sometime now ....god knows when its gonna happen again.