magpie

hey...i totally know what you are experiencing. the same situation (sort of) i have found myself in recently. my (ex)boyfriend says hes "not ready for commitment." and wants something "less serious" with me and with others. the thought of him with another woman makes me ill. i hope and pray that he will realize today he is gay so i dont have to ask "why her?" we have an awesome connection. he is my best friend right now. and i love him dearly, think that he is amazing. but, i realilzed last night something that maybe you should realize, too. I AM AN AWESOME WOMAN! and if he is not ready to see that, its his loss. im not going anywhere (aside from a move of 2,000 miles), if he decides to "come back" we can figure it out from there. but, im not going to wait for him. pine away for him. he is the one who is losing possibly the most awesome woman he will ever be with, and he is the one who should be crying, not me. time is the only answer. it will allow for healing, awareness, realization, amd maybe even that due appreciation.

my boyfriend and i recently separated. its very hard, because i felt like he was perfect for me. we had a very open and honest relationship full of mutual respect, understanding, and an infinate amount of love. we had the type of relationship that ive been looking for for quite some time. and then i got a phone call. he said hes not ready for commitment, that he wants space. that hes attracted to other women, and wants the ability to act on those attractions. that he doesnt want me, or him, to make decisions that may adversely affect our lives because of the other person (like relocating, etc). so, heres where im confused. our relationship is virtually the same. we live in different cities, but he still calls me. last night we spoke for 4.5 hours, about everything. our relationship, or lives, etc. anyhow, he is so confusing. he wants to be "good friends, more than friends" but he still wants to have his freedom. the part that throws me through a loop is this: we have an awesome connection, have from the beginning. we still can enjoy the other. what is going on? this makes me so confused. i still think we are perfect for each other, that he is closing his eyes off to this because he isnt ready. but, when he is ready, will he come to me? or to another woman? any help, advice, suggestions? please...

hey... ive been dating the most awesome guy for almost a year now. during the duration of our relationship we have lived several hundred miles apart. being so, we spent most of our communications on-line or on the phone, often several times per week for several hours per time. emails and im were nearly daily. we took turns visiting one another about once per month, and i went to california to visit him and meet his friends and family over christmas. everything has been going great. and, i was due to move to be in the same city as him in two weeks to a month. in fact, i was starting to look for apartments. and then the other day i got the phone call. he told me that he doesnt think hes ready to be in a commited relationship. he finds himself attracted to other women, and doesnt know how long he can continue to resist temptation (one of his co-workers/friends has been very open about her intent to get him into bed). he says he needs to figure out who he is. but during all of this, he says he still loves me. my picture is still next to his bed for him to look at every night and every morning. what am i to think? in the past he has been hurt very badly. and on numerous occasions, including his most recent visit, he has stated that he fears that some day i will just leave him broken hearted while i myself will move on unscathed. from my perspective he is freaking out about possibly getting too close and getting hurt. my move is a big step forward for us, and to him this means the liklihood of getting hurt is that much greater. he knows i will give him time to grow. to learn who he is. ive made this perfectly clear. but ive made it also perfectly clear that i will not allow for a third person to get involved in our relationship. and, he says he cant choose. this girl, this coworker of his, is opening the door to a social life for him where he lives. until recently, he has been very unhappy due to not knowing many people in his city. again, what am i to think? im so confused.