fiasco

Alright bear with me for this is long and tedious to read. Several months ago there were these two girls which I held interested in. One worked at school at first she seemed to ignore me/dislike me but then she gradually warmed up to me. We talked briefly about impertinent subject matters and that was it. However I took it that she was very nice and warm inside. She gave off a lot of signals that hinted to me that she liked me. However I never acted upon it because I didn't want to hurt her and hurt my chances with the other girl whom I already was pursuing. More about her later. Now, the other girl was a classmate, we had a lot in common even though we were of different races. I was very much attracted to her mentally and physically, there was something about her personality that appealed to me. As we talked and got to know each other better I began to see that I didn't like her character and personality. Now I never took her out on a official date since she would give me excuses. However we did eat together, talk together, study together and even exercised together. However through talking to her and hanging out together I could see that although we had so much in common we are in fact so very different. I gradually began to realize that she and I were not going to work out and would remain as "friends". Now back to the first girl. Knowing that she liked me I thought it would be cool if we could hangout together or at least know each other. So asked her if she would like to go bowling with some friends of mine and me, she said yes but then at the last minute cancelled. Now this took place when I was pursuing the other girl. So when she cancelled I considered the matter closed and believed she wasn't interested in me anymore. Granted we only had good rapport not any relationship so I really didn't know her very well. I wish I could have asked her out for coffee or something else, instead of rashly asking her to go bowling without her somewhat knowing me. Stupid mistake on my part. However now when we see each other all we say is hello and goodbye it also seems that she is no longer interested me in either. I am telling you my story so that you may learn from my mistake. I am also seeking help and any advice. I realized that I made a mistake on my part and wish to confront her telling her if we can start over again. But I don't know. Help me fellas any help with be appreciated.

I don't go to parties. Would like to, yet don't have any friends who go to parties either. Any ideas? Any help on getting invited to parties?

Besides the usual, movies, bowling alley, park, bar, library, etc..., where else would you go to hang out? I'd like to take this nice lady out somewhere, however not to the usual places people all go. At the sametime I would like to get to know her better since I met her quite spontaneously and would like to know her better. Perhaps just walking around talking or sitting down for a cup of joe would suffice?

I stumbled upon some of Deangelo's material on the net. I find his material to be mostly smokes and mirrors. He talks as if doesn't believe his own BS and conveys a sense of false confidence. If you ever get an opportunity to listen to his motivational speeches, it sounds as if he is talking straight out of his anus...

You know, my situation kind of reminds of the movie Forrest Gump. In that the girl likes to party, hang out, and flirt around. And I offering stability and consistency am constantly rejected and given the run around one too many times. And that in the end she might come to me, but what is different here than the movie is that I reject her. Oh well, time to move on. Say, does anyone know of any good hangout places besides the usual (i.e. movies, parties, parks, etc...)

Well on the last day of school I met the other girl. I made some small talk and got her number. She told me she didn't have much plans except to go to some parties. I had the opportunity to call the other one whom I deem to be a lost cause. I've gotten more and more excuses from her.

Well I called tonight, and was given an excuse again. It's over. Perhaps, we will remind friends. Kind of leaves me at a loss since I took a gamble on this one, letting another nice lady get away. Thanks for the advice Poco.

Alright I've have not personally known her for a long time, about four weeks now. We have mostly talked when we meet in order to study for an exam. or via phone. The conversations mostly on her part ranged from what she did with her friends to what was on her mind. There are times when she told me that she has idiots as friends. Talked about her family, parents, and sibling. In those conversations I just quietly nod and listen give advice. For example in one setting she hesistated on going to a party. I offered to do something together with her. She was hinting at watching a movie. Either at the theaters or renting. She quickly rejected her idea of going to the theaters since they would most likely be sold out. She did say that she would most like rent. Since I did not know her or her family very well I didn't ask to come over and watch it with her. So we left it at that, finished our assignments and said good bye. When we were leaving I told her that if she ever wanted to hang out, to drop me a line. She said OK, sure. In addition we would conversate about people in our class, the current events, and stupid trivia things. These conversations were less one sided. I noticed that I failed to agree on many issues so in disagree I'd roll my eyes or blurt out frankly that I disagree. On the other hand there are somethings which we have in common which I would like to use to my advantage. Similar pastimes and such. I have never asked if she has a boyfriend. However I can only assume that she doesn't.

There's this girl that I know in my class. We never talked to each other in the class until towards the end of the semester. As we talked more, studied together, I began to like her. However here's my problem. She told me that about her hanging out with tons of guy friends, drinking, smoking the reefer, etc... I'm not really disuaded from all that however I am intimidated. I feel I'm not experienced enough. When I did try to ask her out she would say no politely, however when I offered to hangout some other time she would say "yea sure" or something to that sort. So any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'll cut to the chase, there are three ladies who work together in my school. I have known them for a year and have never said a word to them until this semester. I do run into them usually one or two at a time depending on their work schedule never three of them together, although they all know each other. Two of them I can easily break ice and fall into a discussion with good rapport. One of them whom for the purpose of this discussion I've nicknamed 'mistress' (her tone/character can be sarcastic/cruel or nice/gentle depending on her mood) is my ethnicity and seems really friendly. The other who I nicknamed 'stare' (sometimes when I run into her, right before we met she gives me a look as if she is looking through my soul) isn't my ethnicity, is older, and is just as friendly. Both are nice friendly, and I don't have much difficulty talking with them. I'm afraid I've been giving the wrong signals of interest when in fact it is the third character whom I nicknamed 'Great White' is the one I'm really interested in. She is not my ethnicity, she seems friendly, quiet and reserved. This is the one which I had to make an extra effort to get her to talk to me. Yes, we would smile at each other and say our hello and good byes, however that was it. And even if I tried to initiate conversation by asking question or commenting on something I would get a nod a smile and a simple yes or no. I cannot interpret whether she is bashful, or not interested. So here are my questions. How do I stop giving the signal that may be interpreted as if I am interested in somebody? How can I tell if she is interested in me? How can I continue? What should I say? I'm out of juice... If in my shoes what would you do? This is my first attempt at getting close to a member of the opposite sex. Granted I have friends who are girls however I don't have any interest in them in the way I do with this one.

Trace, I'm in the same boat as you. And I do believe there are some friendships which you don't need to have a physical attraction. I have a few friendships like so. The problem occurs when I am attracted to a girl whom I want to be friends with that I run into difficulties. Basically treat the person as if you weren't physically attracted to her. I know it's hard but you will be able to speak more freely without trying to impress anyone. Let me know how it works out for you. =