ediddey

The beginning of college I was absolutely in love with this girl, who was well out of my league. Always had a boyfriend, or some 'stud' around and I never had the courage. We became friends however, and got along really well. To my surprise a tension arised between us and I could see an inkling of feelings in her eye when we saw each other. Eventually, one night we went out with friends and just couldn't keep our hands off each other. Passion overrode reason and we hooked up that night. I guess it was akward at first, but we somehow fell into a relationship. We both stuck our necks out for each other when things got rough and others were down on us being together. Soon we were getting along quite wonderfully an honest and caring relationship with no real problems. After about a year or so it blossomed into true love and we were very into each other. Our friendship blossomed into one the deepest I've ever had and our love was just surreal. At the end of school she took a job on a cruise ship that took her away for 6 months. We decided to stay together and give it a shot unable to shake these amazing feelings or relationship that we had. It was hard at times, but our relationship never changed, still feeling our hearts skip a beat with calls and emails from each other and fun laughing conversations. She has since returned for a two month break before her next route takes her to Europe for 3 months. She mentioned seeing other people but came to see me and it was same as always. When she left she told me that we would see each other again, and called me begging me to come see her or travel with her within two weeks. While planning the trip she began to feel uncomfortable, giving off 'guilty' vibes to me as though she knew she was going to hurt me. She would ask me "is this OK though? With what's going to happen with us?" I said, of course it was, if we loved each other and wanted to be together we should. Her replies were always "I want to see other people" and I would always say "yea, I know". I told her to think about it. A week later we were on the phone and again she is asking me "when are we flying? where are we going?". I told her that I gave her time to think about us, and that I wanted to know what was going on. I told her that I wasn't a doormat and that if her "seeing" other people wasn't as innocent as she made it to be then we needed to end it. I told her I was OK with the situation, but we needed to talk it through and see what would work. I forced her into telling me if I was "the one for her" (you figure after 2 1/2 years she would know) and if she was going to hurt me or not. She said that maybe we shouldn't see each other. The whole time, she is crying and telling me she loves me and how wonderful we are together, but this??? I haven't called her, its been nearly 2 weeks that I haven't spoken to my best friend (her) about it. I feel as though, I shouldn't call. I initiated the conversation, but she ended it. I think she needs some time and space anyway. I totally love this girl. We saw each other when she was gone, I took a cruise on the ship. I even flew down there and showed up to surprise her on Valentine's Day even though I knew that she only would have 6 hours to spend with me. We've sent each other packages and cards, the point being, was that even when we WERE apart, it still felt like true love. The days without her have passed hurtfully and slow. What should I say to her when she calls??? I will not beg her to take me back, I can't tell her that I care about her (she has to know), but I want things to work out. Was the last two years really B.S?? I have never had a woman like this before, and I have definitely not been in a dilemma like this before. 2 1/2 years do not pass like a fleeting moment, and I feel that 'closure' is still needed. She leaves for Europe on the first of March. What do I say when she calls??? (that is if she does) How can I stand my ground but still try and make this work??? Confused and hurt.

I knew this girl at college early on freshman year. She was the complete package and rightfully so, had a boyfriend. Even when they broke up I never went for her because the girl was just so unbelievably out of my league. The guys she was with were usually stud jocks or older. We were friends though, good friends. Finally, my junior year we hit it off, just hooked up one night in a rage of drunken passion. We were confused about it at first, but started to see each other regularly. Soon enough she was seeing me exclusively and things were amazing. I stuck my neck out for her to all the friends who told me not to date her, that I would get hurt. Eventually, things were just amazing. We developed not only a seriously great relationship but an unbeatable friendship. We were in love and could both say that we had never felt for someone as we did for each other. As college ended, she took a job on a cruise ship. We decided that we were both too in love to throw it away. We did it, 6 months faithful and everything. But as she was gone she got nervous about the space. At the 6 month mark her job was giving her a 2 month break and then sending her to Europe for 4 months. She told me it was time to see other people. Eventually I realized that it was the only way to stay together. As we were talking on the phone just last week (she is still home) she was begging me to go to Florida with her or come to her house in the midwest. She had just seen me a week prior and things were amazing. While planning the trip she suddenly became hesitant and gave off a guilty vibe about seeing each other if we were going to see other people. I told her she needed time and we talked again a week later. She said she wanted to see me and be with me, I told her that I couldn't hurt myself to be with her if she was to hurt me when she was gone. She said that we shouldn't see each other then. This girl was balling crying and was wailing about how much she loves me. She had just spent time with me telling me about us togther in the future. I understand that now, because of the space and time, she needs to do her thing and we need to grow. But I am in love with her. It has been like 10 days since we hung up. Telling her "goodluck" with life and hearing her say that it was over with for good while crying her eyes out. Should I just let this drift away, or on its course?? I feel like I want this to work out in the future. She should call me though because she ended it right???? I just don't want her to go away without speaking to her. This is not closure by any means after almost 3 years, there were no problems just space. I can't get her out of my head. I don't want to crawl back. But I do love this girl with all honest and true emotions I have ever felt.