I've been dating a lady for a number of months. We were friends/acquaintances for a couple of years prior. Back then I knew she was friends with a gay guy but everyone thought they were a couple as they were always together, holding hands and going to dinner etc. Since I'm not the type to confide in others anymore I'm seeking out some helpful impartial advise from the wonderful people of the internet.
She's admitted to sharing a bed with him she said they never had sex, to be honest that's none of my business but it makes me very uncomfortable they have that level of a relationship and I feel kind of like a third wheel. I think because he's seen her naked before and they've been emotionally intimate and still appear to be. When we got together she didn't see any issues wanting to stay at his place or sharing a hotel room with him again or going to gay bars with him. It made me feel very jealous. I do not want to feel like this but I can't help it. She says she's very independent however spends most of her time with me now. I don't want her to abandon her friends but I find these types of relationships abnormal, maybe it's because it's another man? I don't feel this way about her female best friend.
I did something I hadn't done in other relationships I opened up and explained my feelings to her. Explained how this made me feel uncomfortable to put it mildly, she said she understood. However they still hang out, talk a lot on the phone and right now they are in the same hotel together for work which she didn't tell me about until after they got there together. She said we drove together it was on the way. It was 20 minutes out of the way. Again I felt jealous but I got the "but he's gay". It just rings back to my ex wife saying "but he's married" or "he has a wife" or "they have children". She cheated, that doesn't mean my gf would do the same but I cannot escape that very same feeling.
In all this time I've never once met this friend, I've met her family and most of her friends so far but not him. He also is never with any of her other friends not once. It does raise a level of concern however, I'm conflicted. I do not want to progress with this relationship further until I meet this guy that I oddly feel competitive with. All I know is right now my gf told me nothing about spending a week for work at a hotel with this guy and all i get in return is the "he's gay" and it just makes me want to get out of this relationship. She did claim they have sperate rooms but I can't help but think that's a lie, thanks ex wife.
My feeling is I'll probability end this relationship if I don't meet this guy in the next 6 months. I cannot shake the feeling their relationship is abnormal and maybe that's because he's male but, I don't know.