Xactlywhatislove

I want to call you right now and tell you how much I miss and love you and to tell you to come home. It has been a week today since we broke up and my heart is breaking. If it wasn't for our boys I don't know what I would do. The boys and I had a great time today in the pool. I sent you pictures in hopes that it would stir those yearnings of missing us being a family. However I know that your thoughts and hopes are with him. Everyone including your parents and best friend told me that they think you are making a huge mistake. They say that you pretty much blew it. They said you will never find anyone to treat you as well as I did. I treated you like a queen and provided you with the family life you and I have always wanted. I know I wasn't perfect. No one is. We had our differences and our 13 year age difference played a role. However you decided your old life is what you miss and you feel that you are missing out on other opportunities. Specifically the man you said you aren't leaving me for. Four years down the drain based upon the unknown. I'm not going to call you. It's hard enough seeing you because we share custody of the boys. I keep it strictly about them even though I want to hold you again. This is really painful right now.

I don't even know who you are anymore!! Four years cast aside as if I meant nothing to you! Just because you claim you need to 'find yourself' and need to see if I am who you want to be with! Well you tell me how the f**k are you supposed to do that with someone already waiting in the background? You told me you think you are making the biggest mistake of your life by leaving me and that I am the only person who knows you better than you know yourself. Well believe me when I tell you that right now I think you are just full of $hit!! And that, YES, you are making the biggest mistake of your life!! I meant it when I told you I will only talk to you about our kids and nothing more! Don't ask me how I am doing and definitely don't tell me anymore how sorry you are for hurting me like this!! If this/he is want you want, then have at it! Believe me when I tell you the pain you will feel when you finally do realize what you have lost in me, will bring a smile to my face. You made your bed, now go f**king lie in it!!!

Thanks a lot for your advice! It really does make one feel better when you know people out there in the world care about your situation and you know you aren't alone. The best of luck to you two also in your situations and keep me posted.

Hello all. I really love this site and thought that I would spill my guts and vent for a bit about my situation. I am really confused at this point in my life. I dated my ex for 2 ½ years and we went through the tribulations that many couples go through. We were engaged at one point and time and decided to call it off just because we knew we weren't really ready to get married. There were insecurities on both of our parts that we never really confronted and worked on. The love was genuine when it came to her and I, however after several break up to make up situations, 2 months ago we decided to call it quits. I am still in love with this woman and rightfully so because it has only been two months since we've split. The NC was working really well up until two weeks ago. She sends me a text and asks if she can come pick up her bracelet that she left at my house. Thinking that she was just going to come and leave I said sure. Well she comes over and proceeds to tell me all of the things that I would have loved to hear her say when we were together. She tells me that she does not want to get back together with me, however she still loves me and she needs to work on herself in order for her to be truly happy with someone. I can respect that. I myself am trying to do the same thing. Herein lies my dilemma. We don't get intimate but we kiss and hug each other and she tells again that she loves me. I tell her also because I do. She opens up to me like she never has and I believed that she was truly sincere. She goes out later that night with her girlfriends and calls me asking me to come out dancing with her. Surprisingly I decline and tell her to have a good time. The next morning she calls me and asks if she can come over and crash for a few hours because she's not feeling well. I let her and after she sleeps she gets up and leaves. No intimacy again but we hug and hold each other and say I love you. I call her a day later to ask her how she is and she is rather cold on the phone. She tells me again that she does not want to get back together with me and that she's not making any promises. I'm like what the #$@%?? I'm not ready either. I'm just calling to make sure you are feeling better. So I don't talk to her for a week. This Wednesday she calls me and asks if I would like to go do something this Saturday. Still feeling the way I do for her and knowing the consequences I say sure. Yesterday she calls me and tells me that her and her friends are out and she would like to come over to see me. She's calling me from a bar and I'm like if you want I'll just come up and see you. She finally tells me that she is on a date with some guy and the date is not going well. What!? I finally blow my gasket and tell her I'm not going to be your freaking pawn anymore! That's it. My heart just can't freaking take it. Well lo and behold, this morning she emails me and tells me that she is truly sorry and that the date was just a set up and that she isn't ready to be in a relationship. Well that's fine but she needs to stop calling me and confusing the hell out of me. So here I sit at work, not getting anything done. Confused. I'm letting her dangle me like a yo-yo. One part of me wants to tell her don't ever call me again and the other part says, there's always that slight chance that we will get back together. At this point and time, her actions are speaking louder than her words and I don't know what to do. I'm so mentally drained now from all this that I feel I can sleep 24 hours straight. I really love this woman, I really do. I would love for things to work out and for me to marry her in the future. However, something tells me that I am just being played as a fool and I need to continue doing what I was doing before she broke NC with me. Just move on. Way easier said than done though. What does she want from me? I am so confused! Thanks for reading everyone. Any responses or opinions are greatly appreciated.

I just wanted to say Thank You for your post dustinthewind. Your post gave me hope and brought a smile to my face. I had been with my ex for 3 years and we did the engagement, break it off, get back together thing too many times to count. It came to a point and time that I knew that this was very unhealthy for me mentally, physically and spiritually however I kept being with this woman because I thought things could change. I will always love her and have a special place for her, but no one deserves to be treated like crap and enough is enough. Hang in there dustinthewind. The NC rule is the way to go.