Siofra123

When you say you like this person, do you mean as more than a friend? If you are pursuing something romantic and he doesn’t reply; maybe then he doesn’t want something romantic. Maybe he isn’t a big texter. Maybe he sees your texts and doesn’t open them til he wants to. Does he have a girlfriend? Maybe he’s spending time with her instead of being on his phone? Just cos he has a phone doesn’t mean he needs to reply to you, it’s his phone and he can use it when he wants. If it’s upsetting you; maybe just don’t text him anymore. It doesn’t seem like you guys are close friends anyway if it takes him so long to reply

I’d simply ignore every single thing now. Ignore the texts, just block the number. Set your phone to where it doesn’t allow private or withheld numbers. Don’t text him , delete his number even. It can be hard to move on but this seems to be getting very toxic and borderline dangerous, it’s clear this man wants something casual and even at that, he probably no longer wants that. If he’s being horrible to you, do NOT hang around and waste your time being abused 😑

Text her. Ask how her bowling game went and ask how the rest of her weekend went. Definitely don’t leave it too long, text today I’d say. Then if she gets back to you, maybe chat for a little while and ask her out for something simple; like a coffee, where you guys can plan another game of bowling together! Wouldn’t worry too much about the age thing, she’s probably twigged it and doesn’t mind.

She was, IMO, definitely attracted to him long before they became physical. Are you sure this was the only time they were together? How did you find out? I would imagine she probably cares about this man. There’s too much at stake to go off with someone and risk a relationship especially when there’s kids involved for a fling, or for someone you don’t care about.

In all likelihood, he wants to be with you on the day as much as he wants to be with his friends. He has booked all of this before he knew about your race, and concentrate on this fact here. He probably was really looking forward to drinks with his friends, maybe he hadn’t seen them in a while, maybe he wants to spend time with them, maybe the soccer is a ritual for them. It’s just crappy timing that they both fall on the same day . Me personally, yes I’d be annoyed but glad that he was able to see me cross the line. Could you join him with his friends later on? Best of both worlds?

Sorry that this is happening to you. I know you love him, but as another poster said, love is not enough. This seems to me like a toxic relationship, and what he is doing is enough for him to end up in court and be prosecuted, it’s very serious. You need to get away. You can try to get him help for his addiction, but you can’t fix his addiction. If he doesn’t seek out help, then this will just continue and one day it could end in a more serious physical injury for you. Nothing is worth this type of torture. Why don’t you speak to a counselor and tell them your story?

I am commenting because I have a similar-ish situation. One of my guy best friends for a long time has been very very affectionate and makes it clear that he really cares about me, which is sweet and I care about him, but it became a little bit overwhelming for me. I got married, and my husband was wondering about this guy, and the things he would say to me. He would always ask me to meet up for dinner, for lunch, for a night out. I much rather to meet a group of friends all at once, as I do like to spend time with my husband at The Weekend when I can. It’s not anything against my friend, it’s just I suppose there’s other things that have a higher priority, and I found him asking me every single week to meet up was getting tiresome. I have a full time job etc and loads of other responsibilities, I don’t have the time I used to 10 years ago. Ask yourself if maybe there was anything that you said that could have crossed a line for her. It’s lovely that she has a friend who cares so much, I would say maybe give her a bit of breathing space.

I would just exit this situation now - enough upset has been caused for you and his wife. From what you say, he has shown his true colors to you more than once. His life is messy , because he himself made it so, and he needs to wake up and realize that blaming you is just deflecting from himself. You don’t need to speak to this man ever again, he clearly doesn’t think much of you or his wife.