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evenworse

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  1. A year ago my mom took me out of my high school to enroll my in a cyber school after a rough year. I didn't want to be unenrolled but she said I could possibly go back for my senior year. The last year was terrible for my mental health which had a negative impact on my grades and I had to stay at home all the time unless it was for work. This year I was hoping to go back but she told me im staying in cyber school. It feels like my life is ending, which may sound extremely dramatic, but the past year I have been trapped at home and unable to be around anyone besides my mom. So to find out I have to deal with this for another year is unbearable. I was trapped and could barely go a day without wanting to die. On top of this I found out my mom is planning to kick me out when I turn 18 (in about 6 weeks). I have no idea what to do. I have no one to talk to either since I lost all of my friends when I left my school. I can't even talk to any school counselor because my school is online and doesnt really do that stuff. sorry, this was a whole messy rant. I'm not even sure what my real question is lol. I guess just any kind of advice on what I should do. Including advice on getting kicked out when im 18
  2. thank you, this helped a lot and gave me a lot of hope. I decided to stop looking at his profile because i realized it doesnt help me at all. Reading this gave me lots of motivation
  3. This brought a lot of clarity. Im not used to the lack of drama and have come to realize that this relationship isnt something i can get over by myself so therapy is definitely my next step
  4. My therapist just retired, but im actively looking into finding a new one. Yes, that is the same man. We had an extremely toxic relationship so im also not used to the lack of drama.
  5. my ex and I broke up like 3 months ago after he decided he wanted to be with another girl. I blocked him and have had no contact with him since then, but I have thinking about him constantly and I miss him. I miss being in his life so I sometimes unblock him on instagram to see if he posted anything/ has been tagged in pictures because this is the longest ive gone without him and it's so unnatural. Also, I look at his new girlfriends account too because he picked her over me and I live vicariously through her. I know this is unhealthy so I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to stop being so obsessed with them. I dont even have any romantic feelings left for him and I dont feel sad over our breakup so I dont even know why im doing this. I guess maybe the sudden no contact was rough or maybe im still in shock over him choosing her even after everything we went through. I just want to move on.
  6. @Kwothe28 Yeah, I just always thought maybe he could change but the thing with his friend really showed how little he cared. Thank you, that made sense I appreciate it
  7. @Lambert Thank you so much, that really helped. It really is hard to stop the cycle because I just feel like we've been through so much together but honestly I think it's because we've been doing this for so long I didnt know how to stop. This time when we got back together I had very little trust and respect for him and youre right, once its gone its gone. It's just scary and hard letting someone go after everything and breaking out of that cycle. Thank you though, what you said really cleared things up for me
  8. My boyfriend and I just broke up after a year and a half of dating. We're going to call later and I want to figure out what to say to get him to understand how im tired of this. quick backstory: we've broken up 5 times previously so this will be the 6th. the first 2 have been because of an argument and the rest have just been because he doesnt know what he wants. I'm not really sure why we're breaking up this time, but honestly im so tired of this im not even really that upset. This is more of like a vent post but im also just looking for ideas on how to tell him that im done with him. Should I just block him? We'll always get back together and we'll be really good but then the honeymoon phase ends and he breaks up with me. I found a picture he took of his friend shirtless and when I asked if he knew it would hurt me he said he knew but he still took it anyway so ever since then I have started to detach from him Anyway, every time we break up I detach more from him and trust him less and I think at this point im done with him but im not sure how to tell him that. It's also really scary because I still love him and it hurts but i feel like I need to think more about myself instead of letting him constantly hurt, but i dont know who to talk to about this because hes been my only close friend so I feel like im doing this all alone. What do I say to make him understand that he's hurt me and that he should really think about if he wants to break up because I dont want to get back together again if this is it? he slept over the other day and said a bunch of things like how he loved me and was sorry he hurt me in the past and didnt want to anymore, how i made him happy and when he wasnt with me everything is dull but then he just said now he only said it bc he was on drugs and doesnt even remember saying that. Why does he keep hurting me? Should I stay friends with him or would it just be better to let him go? I care about him deeply and im still in love with him but Im really just so tired. Any advice or maybe words of encouragement would be really great honestly lol sorry if none of this made sense
  9. The other day my boyfriend and I were trying something new and he said he finds his friend sexually appealing and wants to sleep with her(we have a closed relationship). He knows im insecure about her because I heard he was involved with her before we got back together, but he denied thinking of her like that when i asked in the past. Yesterday he admitted he thought about her sometimes when hes masturbating . I wanted to know more and pretended to like hearing him talk about her but he sent me a picture he took of her shirtless and said he wished my chest was as big as hers. Im insecure about my chest so that really hurt. I think she was just changing her shirt but he took the picture a week after we got back together and i never knew. Does him taking a picture like that and thinking about her while he masturbates count as cheating? For quick backstory we've dated since august 2021 but broken up 5 times. The last time we broke up was ab a month ago because he had feelings for another friend and I feel like he only came back to me because she didnt want him. So already I had very little trust in him but now I have none. He's apologized for the picture and said he loves who I am, but im not even sure if he even means any of that. I keep thinking about how loving he's been and all the times hes reassured me that he only wants me while secretly having a picture and thinking about her. So I dont know if I can ever trust him again. What should I do??
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