Sindy_0311

I usually never reach out to a guy but I do respond, not within the minute but when I can. I don’t like to text to much in the beginning because it gives a faux sense of intimacy and closeness. I don’t think it’s an issue her not reaching out as long as she replies consistently. i would be more bothered by her vague response for the 3rd date. Also agree with other, don’t bring that up again. Wait to see if she actually suggests a day.

I agree that a man should at some point let you know he admires you for your achievements or your personality… I don’t believe in physically based compliments, but when he is not able to acknowledge your values, your goals or anything that goes beyond physical, to me it’s not sustainable…

We are just trying to help you understand the situation better and avoid making the same mistake for when Mr right crosses your path… I hope it helps and that you recognize that strangers insights are often more valuable than your friends ones who try to preserve you, in most cases…

One advice that has been very helpful to me. When I have to overcome a deception, I give myself 3 days to talk about it, analyze and overthink, cry, shout etc. After 3 days, I don’t bring it up again (unless he reaches or something like that) Please consider stop mentioning this guy and remove him from your thoughts… it will help you move on…

It’s never black and white… you both were not compatible, that’s it… there is no use in trying to find out who was wrong. You both were “wrong” because at the end you don’t belong together. I think you should take advantage of this break up to reflect on your behavior and what you could have done different or better. Try to shape yourself to be ready to welcome the man that is truly best for you.

He might just have changed his mind about you through time… it doesn’t make him a player.

Sometimes this narrative is easier to accept than the fact that he was not that into you despite of your beauty. Beauty by itself is not enough for a long term relationship, communication skills, humbleness, confidence and kindness are…

That’s good. Just stick to this. And if you ever feel the urge to text him or call him, come back here and write down what you were about to text him. Or even ask one of your girlfriends, text her instead of your ex. it won’t be easy, because you are still having feelings, but it’s the best way to overcome this. 🙌🏻

What I suggest you do now is you completely stop contact with him. Don’t you ever reach out to him again. Not even on social media, unfollow him, don’t let him see your posts and stories. You try to move on, meet new people, get busy, get healthy, take care of yourself and live your best life. He might reach out in a few weeks or month. If he does, respond, politely, but with reserve… if he never reaches out again, which might also happen, at least you began the process of detaching from him and you might even meet someone better for you. But imo in these situations, the best way is always no contact!!

You should try to stop reading between the lines with men. They are way more basic than women think. We they do or say something, they actually mean it.

This is what he said: I hope everything is good and if you don’t respond I get it I wish you the best I enjoyed the time we spent together. IMO He basically apologized for not answering to you and let you know that he was ready to move on. He didn’t ask for more clarification or discussion. He just wished you well and thanked you for the good times… this was his goodbye text, he didn’t want to be rude by ghosting you but he neither wanted to discuss the relationship more.

You also posted weird stuff. In my opinion you shouldn’t post those kind of things when you are in a relationship with someone… if not to be cruel it’s seems to me that it was a way to gain his attention back to you. You played games too. You don’t really know whether he was seeing another girl, but you should be able to feel those things. If something is off, trust your gut. A man who is really into you won’t take the risk to make you doubt about his faithfulness, but he did on Valentine’s Day. I suggest you leave him alone. Don’t contact him and start dating other people. Don’t overanalyze, you just weren’t good for each other. End of story.

Since you both agreed to be exclusive and were faithful to one another, why do you have the feeling that he played you??

Were you exclusive or still dating other people?

I would go even further saying that I appreciate the fact that he was clear with his intentions towards you since the beginning. I guess he sensed that you really like him and again doesn’t want you to get a wrong impression. As they all said, I suggest you stay away. Stop texting him and let him go. Try to go on dates with other men, this guy wasn’t for you.

Thank you so much for your support. Didn’t I already tell you that I like you 😍😁

Please always tag @Whirling D when you mention him 😆

these are two texts I sent him (it’s google translate so pardon my English) on Wednesday: There are many things that I don't know about you and that don't help me move forward...I don't know where you live, you've never invited me to come to your house. I don't even know if you really live alone. I'm missing important pieces of the puzzle, and without these, I very much doubt that I can give more of myself even if that's really what you want. You told me about your doubts and your fears, so I'm opening up and explaining to you what I need at this stage to be able to move forward. I think you can understand that if you really care about me. Again, you didn't do anything wrong but I have a hard time understanding why you don't want to share your world with me. on Saturday: You have discovered my world, you know where I live, you know that I live alone, you know where I work, you know everything I do... and as I explained to you, if you don't have the possibility to invite me to your house once to give me confidence, there is a problem... I prefer to cut things off rather than letting things drag on. I have needs at the start of a relationship, I told you about them, you don't have the opportunity to respond to them, so I have no choice but to listen to my intuition and move on. My communication couldn’t be clearer… 🙌🏻

Just wanted to respond to this. His reservations were valid, I told him that I understood his daughter being a priority (I have a kid too). Still I don't get it that you can't invite someone over even for one or two hours during her school time or If she's staying with a friend at her moms, which she often does. I had doubts about the fact that he was hiding something. Also because I noticed other signs (like not sleeping over at my place and his phone on "no disturb" mode once, etc... ) I told him clearly that since I can't go to his place, I'm not willing/able to open up more to him. It would feel stuck in an emotional "cul-de-sac". My trust in him couldnt grow, and so couldn't our relationship... I think he clearly understood it but he sticked to his principle. If I could have gone to his place and notice by myself that there was no issue, like woman stuff, or a messy place, or even just be able to see that he lives alone and not at his parents for intense - there are many reasons why a guy wouldn't a woman to come over, outside of living with someone else -then I would have been reassured. But without going to his place, theres no chance I would have changed my mind. Anyway, it's all blocked now and we will both move on. I usually give myself three days to overcome a disappointment. Now I'm done. I had two new matches today... on another dating app. Already feeling exited to meet new people. Thank you all for your different insights on my issue. As always it helped much. Thread, and case, closed. 🙌

Correct

I didn’t send anything rude. And didn’t mention his profile. As I explained, I think it’s disrespectful from him to be back on the dating app after pretending he would wait for me a bit longer in case I change my mind. If you want to move on, you don’t say to OP that you will wait in case they change their mind. It’s common sense to me… 🤔

I would maybe have changed my mind if he had invited me over and had not gone back on the dating app…

In one of his last texts on Saturday he said that he would wait for me for a while in case I change my mind, so I found it disrespectful of him to be back on the app after only 24 hours… but again just not how I operate…

You wouldn’t care about him seeing you even if you told him that you would wait for him a little while?

Yeah but I would never activate my profile 24hours after a “breakup”. This is not really respectful, mostly because we met on that app. I would at least wait a few days, or hide it. But this is me…