Sindy_0311

I usually don’t kiss the guys I’m attracted to on the first date or meet. I don’t feel the urge to do it because I know we will have other opportunities to kiss. and of course I don’t kiss if I’m repulsed… 😂

I don’t go on second dates if I’m not attracted by the person. What I usually do is kiss the guy at the end of the first date to make sure I’m not attracted. And usually it works, there’s no physical chemistry… next day I explain that I didn’t feel the spark… no harm done.

Are you serious???

Agree… the question is would OP be ready to start something with a guy who didn’t have enough balls/confidence to come speak to her… me personally I would not.

It wouldn’t concern me. I would just think this dude is weird, ask him to remove his stuff and pass my way…

So essentially you are fishing for green light for you to approach this guy. But you masked it behind a “is he stalking me” topic. Please be honest 🙏

I never commented on a joke… I did get the joke… when you quote someone please make sure you address to the person you quoted…

What joke?

Gaslighting doesn’t work with smart people… take note…

Why did you want to know whether he was leaving with someone? What would you have learnt about him exactly? Sorry but I don’t get it.

You said you waited for him to leave… and now you say your car was 3 minutes away. Walking 3 minutes usually doesn’t allow you to be close enough to see someone leave…

I remember what a friend told me someday. I was telling him how my coach would sometimes try to catch my attention, shower me with compliments, and try to engage in conversations after classes. And he told me knows a guy, also a coach, him and his mates would act around girls with the only intend of hocking up in the showers with them. They would compliment, turn around them, and gauge their interest level before actually making a move when they feel they are reciprocating interest. I’m not saying that it’s what is going on here, but seriously? These guys are all shy? I think most of them are just fishing for the one who will show most interest and make things easier.

If his behavior is making you feel uneasy, why don’t you just tell him, please don’t block the exit, or ask him why he is following… im not discrediting your experience and he didn’t molest you. What im saying is he might try to have an opening with others girls… and no, if a guy molests you I won’t say he does the same with others… your exemple is completely irrelevant. I just think you are reading into signs way to far. He might be shy like all the guys of your gym obviously, so if you want to know whether he is interested go talk to him. That simple.

I think you are “stalking” him. Why wait to see whether he leaves alone? I would rephrase the title of this topic by: Does my gym crush like me? Look I also go to the gym, some guys approach me, try to engage, use the same machines, help carry heavy stuff, look at me, even one of them invited me and texted me on social media... etc… Guys do that, the gym is their knew chasing area. So unless your crush asks you out or tries to open conversation with you, don’t overanalyze the things he does. He might do the exact same things with other girls when you are not around waiting for one of them to talk to him…

If you doubt, why not deleting his phone number?

Just wanted to reply to this because I’ve been think about it today. I don’t think I’m being rigid. I want to find someone who will match my needs in terms of pace, efforts, communication, transparency, emotional connection etc… I don’t want to lose time on someone who isn’t able/willing to make it work. Because I do invest effort and time to make the other person feel wanted. I’m king, gentle, open, caring and a good listener. So I expect the same in return. I’m not rigid, it’s my standards. I do analyse a lot because I’m pragmatic, it prevents me from dealing with BS and to not get to emotional about men I barely know.

I guess he will contact her because he knows he has complete access to her.

He had his phone out because of his son who was staying at home with the “babysitter”. I do have my phone away because I don’t want my date to see some notifications of men texting me during that time… so i guess I’m the bad one in the story 😂

There is no much context as it was a first meet. He came with a flower, saying all the good things a woman wants to hear, he has been talking a lot about himself. How he is a good man with principles, etc and bla bla bla. He reached out today and I gently told him that I don’t think we are compatible. i had another date tonight with another man… this one was also talking a lot but asking questions and listening to what I had to say. There was no questions about other men or bringing up insecurities. He was just himself and not trying to bombard me with ready made sentences. I do observe a lot during first meets, and this guy tonight had his phone on the table, screen up during the whole time in case his son would text him, which he did at some point. He would even show me some photographs on his phone, letting me holding it for a while. Now this might sound futile but I think if a guy has nothing to hide, he won’t bother doing so… again, I don’t care about words, I just observe… the other guy yesterday, I couldn’t even say whether he has a cell phone, didn’t see it during the whole date, almost 4 hours…

I will next him. But I’m always upfront, I don’t like ghosting, so I will just tell him that I think we are not compatible. It was great seeing him though. He is a nice person.

100% agree. I sense that this guy is just wanting some validation or in pursuit of of a romance, no matter who is sitting next to him…

Still, there is one thing he said that I found interesting to share here. He said that usually the girls he was talking to, after matching on the OLD apps were always bombarding him with texts, all day long, and that the fact that I don’t text much was triggering him (maybe in a good way idk.) At some point he was hoping or expecting more communication and this lack made him think that I wasn’t that interested in meeting him like the others were… so I don’t really know how other women operate, but I might be a bit distant comparing to others… The same with the last dude I dropped two weeks ago, he accused me of never reaching out to him or never ask him out… idk if I’m doing it wrong after all… something to consider…

Hey, just came home… it’s around 23:30… it was a weird “date”… I don’t know yet what to think about it… we talked a lot, he talked a lot… said he wanted to see me again. We kissed at the end but really I need a good night sleep and think about it tomorrow with fresh mindset… thank you for asking 😁

Me neither. My attraction towards a man usually grows after a few dates, let’s say 2 or 3… after the 3rd date I do know whether I want to meet other men or not… the thing is my dating agenda is not easy to combine with my responsibilities as a mom… this might be the reason why I have this FOMO… I don’t have plenty of time on my hands to date men, I’m 40 now, I really wish I find my partner, and i’m afraid to lose my time one guys that have no genuine intentions toward me. edit: the guys I’m dating all have kids (because its one of my criteria) and also have their schedule…

At least not after a few dates…