Sindy_0311

You are right. I better leave him alone. But it’s so rare for me to finally find someone i’m attracted to. I’ve been dating so much these last years and never felt this kind of feelings. Thx anyway for the time you spent trying to solve my case. I appreciate so much 🙏

I do have feelings for him. It’s not a ego boost thing. Even if I don’t really see it long term, I do think we can learn from each other and could have a beautiful relationship for the time being. We are both being single, so I don’t see any issue with enjoying each other. Unless he is really looking for a woman who can give him kids. That’s a point I wish I could discuss with him someday… but we never got so far in our conversations and I’m getting to a point were I just want to know… even if it’s to end up like friends… I’m to curious and frankly it’s the first time I think about a guy so much…

I know I still can have kids. I got pregnant last year. But still you are right. Maybe not the right fit after all. But me I would rather find someone to spend my life with rather then focusing on my desire for kids. Maybe he should find himself a younger girl then…

I meant I didn’t tell him I don’t want more kids. He doesn’t know whether I want more kids or not. Sorry my English is bad. In French would be easier for me 😉

I never said I didn’t want kids. If I meet the right person, why not. I never say never..

Do you really think he is being polite and friendly? How about I tell him I want to thank you (friendly) for the furniture fixing by inviting you to have diner? Is that friendly or too obvious?

I had the same experience with a guy once. We were seeing each other always at my place once or twice a week, he would sleepover, we would speak a lot and he telling me how much he appreciated spending time with me and bla bla. His texting was inconsistant. I Also spent sometime 3 days without hearing from him. I told him after 2 month that I was catching feelings for him( I was stupid and feeling ***y about myself at that time). Now it’s clear to me that he was young and didnt aim for a committed relationship, even tough I suspect he developed some kind of feelings for me, he just wanted FWB. Then he went back to his home country for three month, and I decided to block him. He tried to reach out sometimes, but never really tried something again since he came back. I think your guy is a player, just wants hock up, so I suggest you cut off all contact and go for someone who looks for something serious. It’s harsh, it’s difficult to do but necessary for your self confidence…

in fact we have many couples in our company and I don't think it would be a problem... My issue is more about him having the same interest or not before making a move again. I tend to believe that when we are highly attracted to someone we misread the signs and overlook some details. that's why I wished a neutral perspective on the signs he might show...

I suggest you don't ask yet to hang out. You should go to the bar again sometimes, try to figure her out better. Maybe she is having someone yet... If you want to trigger her interest, maybe after going with males friend sometimes and talking to her to learn more about her, someday you go with a girl and ignore her a bit. So she sees you in "dating" mode and will wonder about you...

You are so mean to me 😞

I don't know where you come from but in my country we don't have these strict rules. In fact in our company we have 3 couples, even one manager/employee couple. and I have always been cautious not to touch him or embarrass him in any way. just being friendly. Is that unprofessional?? Justplainme, told me you have great advice, but you sound a bit sarcastic to me. Anyway, thanx again for your replies 😉

I do have a need for male attention, I've always been like that. But I don't think I'm behaving inappropriately as he talked first the sex before marriage subject... And I'm not his boss, just in a higher position in the company 😉 I think you are right, he is not into me (enough) and I will just let my need for male attention aside for a while haha.

He's not gay, but that at least would be an answer and help me move on 😉

yes maybe I crave attention, but only from the men I'm interested in. isn't it normal?? I'm not crossing boundaries... I don't touch him and didn't do anything wrong, and don't even talk about him to my coworkers, I'm very cautious. I do date men (online first and in person), last time was last night, and I couldn't stop thinking about what it would be like dating my coworker. that's my problem. I don't know how he feels about me and I can't move on...I feel stuck. I don't go to group hobbies, I'm an introverted, and like doing things alone in the comfort of my home... Which surely doesn't help to meet someone. Thanx a lot for your reply 🙂

It was a discussion we had about sex before mariage and I told him I found difficult to mary someone without even now if there’s a connection sexually speaking. That’s all.

One more thing I forgot to mention. The day he proposed to come help me fix the furniture at home, I purposely watched him on the security camera as he went back to his colleagues. I know he told them he would come to me the same evening because one of them joked about him banging me that night... And his reaction was just a shy smile and he walked away...

I think you should ask her what she wants one last time, give her a dilemma, either a committed relationship or nothing. The FWB situation is like holding on something that already died... She should be able to answer in the moment, no more time to think about... If she can't make a decision, you decide for her... If she says she wants a relationship, great! If not, you go and leave her. You go SILENT. no calls, no texts, nothing... so she can understand what life without is like, and realize whether or not she wants you back... But I guess she already made he choice. I'm sorry... Been there...

Hi there, need some advice from Switzerland... I have a crush on my coworker since 2 or 3 month (but we know/work together since 2019). We work for the same company, him as a gardner and me as the manager of the company's store (I have a higher position). He sometimes comes to the store to help me move heavy furniture or install some stuff. Last time I needed an employee to help me change the exhibition, he asked his subordinate if he could come help me on that day. He always stays a little bit longer, ask me if I need help to change that or this and often stays one hour more. he also proposed to come to my home once to help me fix a furniture (that was actually a test, I told him I couldn't manage it and in the second he proposed to come help me) That evening, once he finished he said he might go so I offered him a glass of wine and he accepted, but nothing happened, we were just talking... We see each other only at work, when I need an employee to help me. he displays every signs of an interested man, sometimes he's nervous, blushes, have eyebrows shaking(really), smiles a LOT, loughs, makes jokes, teases me, glances, stares at me, touches his beard or fixes his outfit when talking or bumping into me, makes much eye contact when he tells me his (not so funny sometimes:-P) stories, provides much help, etc.... But he never compliments me on my appearance and never really touches me (except: when we install or move furnitures, we accidentally touch arms, hand or shoulder and he doesn't move back, on the contrary he tends to linger in... ) He asks a lot of questions, from my past relationship, about my ex husband he once saw a long time ago, he wants to know were he works, if he earns much of money, asked three times if we are still together, (didn't get the fact that I'm actually divorced and "single" for one year). My ex husband is a very good looking man, and I suspect that he thinks he's less attractive. my coworker is a man you can tell is having lack of confidence, and can't be considered as a very good looking guy, he has a little limp. My best friend told me he looks uncool (or corny?) and that I'm out of his league. But I just like him the way he is and the way he looks, to me, he is attractive. At our office Christmas party, he stared at me a lot during the evening from across the room, and he invited me to dance (and no other girl). I kinda ignored him the whole evening because I wanted to see how he is with other people, and realized he is very shy, and doesn't speak much with his coworkers. Just when me and my 5 (girls) coworker were dancing a little bit, he approached and began dancing with us (no other guy around, just him) and after 10 minutes took my hands to dance) When I changed position, and put my hand on his shoulder so he could put his on my waist, he laughed a said Hey no no! Like was it too much of touching??? Once he told me about his past relationships, and I understood that for 10/15 years he is in Switzerland, he had no girlfriend. He had 2 in Romania, but one of them didn't want sex before mariage, he broke up with her after two month. He told me he tried dating apps and going out but that now he's no longer searching. He also told me he wants kids, I'm already 39 and have a 7 years old boy, but I didn't tell him I don't want more. He tends to brag a bit, like telling me he's having a good situation in Romania, a house, etc... That he now only is a gardener but he used to have better jobs... he also told me he booked a trip in Brazil in February for 6'000 dollars, and asked me joking, do you come with me?.... He called me once on a Sunday night 6 pm. I didn't hear the call. He texted me "Hi" 15 minutes later. (3 weeks before that call, I told him to call me if he wanted to have a drink) One hour after his call, I texted, "Hi", but he didn't answer. The next day on Monday, I called him for work stuff and he pretend that the call was work related but that he forgot it was Sunday... (he retreated back, I think, because there's no way he could have known he was going to work with me again until that Monday morning... ) This first of January, he texted me Happy new year... (first time he does in three years) We never call or text out of office hours (except for these two days when he reached out) I suspect he is a virgin, or not experienced, because of his manners, He doesn't touch me and seems uncomfortable when I talk about relationships, or sex or his potential girlfriends and he blushes. He's 40 (but looks like a boy, still innocent) and I'm 39. I'm experimented and had many different guys in my life (40 or so...) But I don't think he knows. Sometimes he sees me flirting or laughing with strangers or coworkers. I'm clearly more sociable than he is. I'm by far not a 10 on the scale but I do attract men... and I'm confident in the seduction game. Once I asked him, don't you want to go have a fondue (Swiss speciality) tonight with me? and he said, "No tonight I can't, I have something up", with a annoyed tone, which was strange to me, like I bothered him by asking... This details is the only one which makes me think is not that into me. ( But that was before the office Christmas "dancing" party and before he proposed to come to my house help me fix the furniture) What do you think? Not that into me? He thinks I'm not the right fit? is he a virgin? unexperimented? afraid? And what should I do now? I can no longer wait for him to ask me out. I'm going crazy. I still date other guys but I'm too attracted to him and can't focus on the other guys... I don't want a committed relationship with him, but I want to spend time with him, learn more and try to understand him. Casually in the beginning and see where it goes. I'm badly attracted to him and I F enjoy his company 😛 Thanks for helping me (sorry was long, but details matter sometimes) Sindy, from Switzerland