Lily96797

How's this going...... It's going no where.... Tried waiting and I took a different approach... I brought up all the good things that I love in our relationship first before I brought up my issues... I remained calm, didn't raise my voice and I let him yell... When he finally paused, I mentioned couples counseling... More yelling from him.... Bottom line from him....if I'm not happy, then there's the door. He doesn't need someone who doesn't understand him. I'm not sure if I should try another approach... I'm not willing to give up. Somehow, I'm more determined than ever to make him understand.. Anyone with any other ideas of how I should approach this.

At first I wasn't interested in my husband but as we continued to talk I found out that he and I really loved the same old rock bands. We talked for hours about them -- he knew everything there was to know about the bands and he was so passionate when he spoke....right from the heart.. That's when I knew that I had to go out with him to find our more...... And rest is history....

Basically what my husband is referring to in not being able to "finish the job" is the actual act of intercourse itself. He's still very angry about my suggestions and has barely acknowledged me today. In his mind, he's over it so I should be too. It's still going to be a few more days before his anger subsides so until then I am just going to have to wait to try and discuss it with him again. Just want to thank everyone for the help. I know I'm doing the right thing. I just have to be patient and understanding.

Prior to his medical problems, my husband and I had an active and healthy sexual relationship. We never turned each other down, we both always made time for one another. To satisfy one another. Once the problems started, he didn't want any physical contact with me. Even holding hands was difficult for him. It was frustrating for him and he didn't want to talk about it. So we didn't talk about it and eventually he started to come around and began giving me hugs and kisses again but that would be it. This is how it's been since then. I spoke with my husband this afternoon about how I've been feeling without going into my almost affair. Needless to say, the conversation went so horribly wrong. He was hurt and got very defensive. For the first time in our relationship he swore at me.....I was so shocked but I let it go. He believes that I think that he is not man enough for me -- and I told him that wasn't true. I just missed the intimacy and the closeness that we once shared together. I tried to explain that he could still touch me and participate but he said what for if he can't finish the job. I should have just kept my mouth shut.... He's now sleeping in the living room on the sofa. And I'm here not knowing what to do next.

I just finished speaking with my co-worker. He agreed with me that we need to limit our contact to work and only work. I told him that we both need to work on what's important and that is our own relationships with our spouses. So I took care of one part, now I just need to speak with my husband. I think it will be best to tell him what my conversations were about and to see what we can do together to get back what we had before all of his ailments came about. Wish me luck!

I work for the same company as this gentleman. We've seen each other and have always said Good Morning or Good Bye. We were seated next to each other at a retirement luncheon and we hit it off right away. We found out we had so many things in common (likes and dislikes) and we both have the same type of humor. Soon we began speaking on a daily basis -- him dropping by my office to say hello or me dropping by his office to say hello. Within a month we exchanged cell phone nos., im ids and home telephone numbers. So we started communicating outside of work everyday and even on the weekends. Our conversations were always innocent -- what are you doing for the weekend, what did you cook for dinner, how is your wife feeling, did your husband like the game......just simple conversation. A couple of months ago we were discussing a fellow employee who got reprimanded for forwarding email containing sexual content. Because of the line of conversation, we started to converse about sex for the first time. Nothing raunchy -- just some matter of fact information concerning our spouses. I explained to him about my husband having numerous ailments including diabetes, gout, asthma and high blood pressure. All of the medications he takes has affected his ability to maintain and/or obtain an erection. His doctor will not prescribe viagara or ciallis due to his high blood pressure. So I have been going without sex for about 3 years and I'm fine about it. I already knew about his wife's rheumatoid arthritis condition. He was instrumental in getting our company to make donations to the Arthritis Foundation and he spearheaded a drive for volunteers to assist with some kind of activity that they had. He told me that it's concentrated in most of the joints in her lower extremities, hips, lower back, knees, ankles. It makes it very painful for her to have sexual relations so he has been going without any sex for about 2 years and for the most part he is okay with it and understands that it is painful for her. That was the end of the discussion until a few weeks ago. He comes up to me and says that we need to talk. So we went on a break and got some coffee. He told me that he's been thinking about me.....really thinking about me. He said that he is afraid of his thoughts. I told him if you're thinking about me sexually, then you're not the only because I am having those same thoughts too. He said it's much more than just sex. He wants to make love to me, cuddle and hold me. Just to walk holding my hand and conversing. To experience all things great and new that life has to offer with me. Nothing has transpired other than talking. We haven't even hugged or kissed yet althought we have had many opportunities to do so. He knows that his wife is his soul mate. I know my husband is my soul mate. But at the same time, we both feel like we are each others soul mate. We want to know: * Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Do we follow our hearts or what's in our brain..... Help!