lostmyway

You guys are young and it sounds like he was not ready to settle down when you were dating in college. Although that is normal for a lot of people many good people don't handle it well or with the kind of honesty and fairness that ideally we all would. If you still really love the guy you could give him a chance...but go slow make sure he is being honest with you and communicating the importaint stuff with you. Make sure he is ready to settle into a long term loving relationship at the expense of the "player" lifestyle. Neither life style is wrong, but one does have to choose. I've seen to many married people "play" when away...make sure you can trust him or it won't work. What do your joint friends think about your getting back together?

In this case, I think that question can only be answered by Overreation. In practice, I do know of some relationships that have survived infidelity. I also know of many more that did not. There is another thread on this forum called "once a cheater, always a cheater" that has some good point and counter points on this very topic. It's also something I am dealing with myself and something that I think is a grey area. I don't think you can say that once someone cheats they can never be trusted again, but I also don't think someone should be the fool as some people cannot be trusted.

Sorry about the confirmation. It's harder to find out yourself rather than have them step-up and confess. There is a book called "After the Affair" that I would highly recommend you and your wife both read before making the leave or stay decision. I think most people would recommend leaving a cheating partner but there is a chance it could work if you have had a good relationship in the past and your both committed to making it work. If your marriage was bad before this then cut your losses.

Suspicious behavior: Sorry man, but yea, you posted your thoughs because you feel like she either has or will cheat on you and you're probably right. Her behavior is suspicious and her story about why she took off her ring sounds like a lie. There is no way to know for sure, short of a confession, unless you catch her in the act. The next question is what is the condition of your marriage now? Underlying problems in relationships can manifest themselves, for some people, in the form of cheating. Some people cheat because there are unmet needs in their relationship. Until you both understand the dynamics of what is behind it all you won't ever get past this. O' and the "friend" who encourages her to double date (cheat) on her husband is bad news! I assume this double date did not include you? If she is feeling confused about things and is not happy then hanging out with someone who feels it's ok to cheat and encourages her is just a recipe for disaster.