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That would be fine for myself, however he hasn't responded to my email. I told him I wanted to talk, yet I was afraid. I also told him that I still had love in my heart for him and a part of me has held out hope that one day we could work things out and then I left it in his ballpark. I told him that I was unsure as to how he felt about me and that I was afraid to talk (he has told me he wanted to talk and clear up all misunderstandings) unless I knew how he felt and that I would be assured that we would both try and understand each other without blaming or causing anymore pain. So, now I am waiting for him to write back.

As I wrote several months ago, I met this incredible man and we had the most amazing connection. For months we wrote letters and talked over lunch, then one day I just couldn't resist kissing him, however we were both married, unhappily, yet married. Shortly after that first kiss I left my husband and he left his wife. From day one we seemed to be a perfect match. We talked, enjoyed the same foods, movies etc. and had the an amazing connection in the bedroom. Now here lies the problem. His son was diagnose with being autistic, and he had a 1 year old daughter, so the guilt for him was overwhelming. His wife didn't work (she had a degree as an attorney and used to make 130K, yet wanted to be a stay at home mom) and was taking almost his entire paycheck, and so he had to work 3 jobs just to survive. His wife had also hired an attorney and was fighting to give him only 5 % custody. And to make matters even worse his parents were not supporting his decision to divorce and felt that he left her for me. Finally, he moved out saying he needed 6 months to get his life under control. So, he kissed me goodbye and that was 6 months ago. Since that time he has called only once to say how sorry he was and asked if we could ever be together in the future, however I was already dating another man and told him that I didn't feel I could trust him not to run away again when things got tough. He has written a few emails always being sweet and thanking me for all the good times we had shared. He now has 44% custody of his kids, only works one job and has sold some of his property. He also just settled into his own place (he had been living with his parents for the past 5 months) and has most recently retained a family law attorney. So, he left for all the reasons he stated and has not to my knowledge seeked out another relationship or returned to his wife. I am no longer involved with anyone and my divorce is now final, so I have written him a letter telling him that I still have the love in my heart for him, and a part of me still has kept hope that someday we could work things out, yet I am afraid, because I don't want to hurt anymore. I am now waiting for a response. So, My question is especially to those men out there, am I the transitional woman or his soulmate.

The love of my life, told me that he needed 6 months to handle a messy divorce and get his life under control. We had been together for 6 months, but his divorce, the guilt, the overload at work just became too much. He said I was his soul mate, his one true love, yet he also said that he needed time to regain control over his life, he hugged me tight, kissed me and told me he loved me then left and I haven't seen or talked to him since and that was over a month ago. I know this man loved me and we were so compatable. We had fun together, loved each others company and had amazing sex. So, what I want to know is if you have someone who you feel you have such a connection with, are men able to walk away and forget or in time do they return. I wish I knew what men go through when they feel they have to leave, yet they still are deeply in love.

I would like to know from men what do they go through emotionally during a divorce, especially if they left their marriage for someone new. (But did not have an affair first)

Well, I thank you for your advice. He and I were planning on me getting my Real Estate Lic and then I would help him with his side loan and RE business. So, I have decided that while I am giving him the time and space he needs I will continue what we started and get that lic. and when I do I plan on going into the Mtg. Loan business with or without him. I want him to know I love him, but that I don't depend on him for happiness or financially. I want him to know that I want him for who he his and that together we can each add to each others happiness in life and support each other.

OK, so I give him time, I give him space, I don't give my opinion which will be easy since he and I are not talking right now. So, given he still loves me, how long do you think he will need to get his life under control? I don't want to give up on him, because I really think we have something special, but I don't want to hold out false hope.

It's funny I did do those sorts of things, but that is because he always wanted to talk things out with me. I tried to not say much, but I did give opinions now and then

He is a very affectionate man, who enjoys being held, kissed and loved. Why should he have to give up a loving partner to have his kids. Most people need more from life then kids. If that was all he needed then he could have stayed in his marriage, because that is what he had. However, he was so deprived of love. His wife didn't even want him to hug her. This is a guy who would hold me all night long, while we slept.

He has asked me to give him 6 months. When I asked him if we could still spend time with each other or keep in touch, he said he needs to get his life under control and get the custody he desires with his kids and that he doesn't know how long it will take, but that he needed that 6 months. I know his wife blames me for the divorce and he did tell my girlfriend that he didn't want to drag me into anything nasty.

I talked with him calmly on the phone last Friday and we both told each other how much we loved each other, but he wouldn't go into anymore detail, he said that was just too difficult right now. I then wrote him an email thanking him for talking and giving me so answers. I told him I would give him the time he needs and that I wouldn't call or write. I told him I loved him enough to let him go, but not to think that I have closed the door, because maybe sometime in the future we could still work out. I have faith, but I just wish I knew how long it might take him to resolve his issues.

I wasn't putting extra demands on him. I knew this was going to be a rough road, but I felt in time his life would balance out. I did nothing but support him and help him anyway I could, but I do think he felt guilty because he wasn't able to give me much in return.

He has been separated 6 monthes. This is his second separation from her in 5 years and this time he is committed to ending the marriage. He and I knew each other for two years and found we were both unhappy with our marriages, and we knew we had found something special in each other. However we both decided that we needed to decide separately what we wanted and then if we were available and separated then we would be together, but not until then. He wanted us to eventually get married, he knew exactly where he was going to purpose and where the wedding would be. He wanted to surprise me and I was fine with that. I don't want to hang onto false hope, and I am not just sitting around waiting for him, I am a very independent woman, who has a lot of friends and interests. But, I do love him, I just wish I knew if he was going to come back how long it might take?

My boyfriend and I are both in the process of a divorce. Mine has been very easy, however he has two small children ages 1 and 3 (who I love and my daughters ages 9 and 15 accepted as their own siblings) , and although he was very happy with me, he missed his kids. His ex was attempting to reduce his custody and wanted a lot of money. He worked almost 100 hours a week between three jobs to support his ex until she went back to work and was able to support herself, which she could easily since she had made 6 figures in the past. After she hired a lawyer and he realized that the divorce would become difficult he became overwhelmed with working, trying to see his kids and then be home with me and making our relationship work. So, one night he calmly said he needed to move out and needed time to get his life under control and fight for his kids and financial future. He hugged me tight, kissed me and said he loved me, but had to go. He doesn't want me to contact him, because he said its just too difficult to maintain any kind of a relationship right now, yet he thinks of me all the time and said that he doesn't deserve my love. He won't talk in detail about his feelings for me, because he says he can't, however he said that his kids are so important to him and he needs them, so right now he is willing to give up the one person in his life that truly made him happy. So, what I am wondering is if he truly loves me and most people who know him believe that we are perfect together, then will he be back if I don't chase after him and I give him his time? The other thing I was wondering how does divorce affect men, regarding children, new love etc.