I have been married for 10 years. I have two children.
My wife has very little sex drive. I still desire to have a reasonably frequent sexual relationship with her. I do things to initiate romance and sex, but she often has excuses (too tired, too this, too that...fill in the blank). I can only be rejected so many times before I get tired of it. I have talked to her about it, but it does not seem to change things. I have gone out of my way to be more romantic, but it has little impact.
As this has continued over the last several years, I am getting more and more sexually frustrated. I didn't sign up for marriage to be celibate. It is expected in a marriage that a husband does not cheat on his wife. I agree with this, but it is completely unfair to me for my wife to expect me to only be with her sexually and then for her to deny me any reasonable access to her sexually. If it weren't for the fact that we have two small children, I would seriously consider divorcing over this issue. I am pained by this because I still like and love my wife, but I cannot keep my sexual and senual desires in check forever. I am not happy with a life of limited sexual and sensual contact.
I'm frustrated because I try to initiate things with her and I get rejected. I am hurt by this. I ask myself sometimes, "Why am I even trying when she doesn't even appreciate that I want to be with her?" I was recently rejected one evening as we were going to bed. I was lying there in the darkness of our bedroom, thinking "if she doesn't want what I am offering then another woman will. I'm an attractive man and I have much to offer."
Thus, here I am...at a point in my life that I am seriously considering an affair. I never previously thought I would ever reach such a point. I know that it is wrong. I am conflicted about it.
My wife loves chocolate. She's addicted to it. If she had to go without it, she would not be a happy camper. I think she likes chocolate more than sex. I love sex and closeness with a woman. It's part of my biological and psychological make-up...yet my wife is denying me part of what gives me pleasure in life. Yet, I can't just go out and have sex with another woman without being a "cheater or a horrible man." It's not fair.
Anyway, I'm just thinking about an affair. I haven't had one...yet. I don't know what to do.
Thanks for reading my long-winded story...I had to get it off my chest.
--Troy
