kennieboi

Hey coolcol. Thanks for you advice. I have been friends with her since about December. I don't maybe I think she sees me as a really close friend right now and notthing more. I think I'm just being really stupid and thinking that I like her but she's already with my friend. Maybe I should just tell her that I can't talk to her anymore and tell her the truth?

Hi everyone. My ex broke up with me last year in October and to this day I still think about her and miss her. And one of my best friend is dating this girl and after meeting her, we have become pretty good friends. My friend doesn't mind her talking to me because she would always text message me or call me. And she would feel really comfortable talking to me about her past relationships and I would talk about mine too. Well the thing is, I think I might be falling for her, but I don't want to mess things up with my friend and her also. I know that it would be totally wrong if I got into the picture and homewreck my friends relationship. But I can't stop feeling happy and always enjoy talking to her. And when I do see her, its only when my friend goes to see her. And when I do see her, she would sorta like flirt with me and be hella close to me. I haven't told my friend this. I'm afraid to tell him because I don't want to ruin our friendship. The girl also mentioned one time that if I would still be friends with her if her and my friend didn't work out. And I told her that I would still be her friend. Anyways I am really confused because I miss my ex girlfriend, but at the same time when I talked to this girl, she makes me feel better and I'm afraid that I'm falling for her when I know its very well that it is wrong, but its a feeling that I can't help.. Please any advice would be appreciated.. Thanks...

Alrite guys I have an update on my situation. I just received an email back from my ex and it says: you can't force me to reply when i have absolutely nothing to say or if i absolutely don't know what to say. don't give me a guilt trip for not replying, after all my last attempt to establish any kind of "friendship" with you was so brutally and bitterly analyzed and replied to. don't expect me to feel enthusiastic to reply after that. i didn't want to end our relationship the way i did, but either way the outcome would've been the same..it would've still boiled down to this. what kind of closure do you want? i've already left you alone, not established contact as requested, what else do you want? i've already been scrutinized, analyzed, judged/criticized by every possible person you've ran to for help (don't tell me they haven't because we all hung out before..i KNOW how they are). i've no one to turn to but myself and a few friends. when i go places i have to avoid people who know you in fear of running into them and being labeled or given the "look". i feel as if i'm living in a never ending nightmare, like i'm always being haunted down by my mistakes. i've gotten my karma already, will i forever be making up for my mistakes? i have NOTHING left! please let this nightmare end...leave me be. i don't want to have to feel like every corner i turn, someone's there to stone me to death because of the mistakes i've done in the past. i apologize for all of this and all my mistakes..for EVERYTHING, but please just let me go. What should I do now? Help! Should I just leave it at that and just accept that as closure?

I was with my now ex-girlfriend for 1.5 years. In the beggining she didn't want to get too serious as she said that she didn't want to be in a relationship. But as we got to know eachother she started to fall for me and already told me she loved me. We never really argued much and she's always moody at times, but I always end up trying to compromise with her. She tells me how much she loves me and that she wouldn't know what she would do without me. Couple of months before our relationship ended she wanted a break and I gave her the space she wanted. Then one day she got really upset at me for something really small and I asked her if she was sick of me. She said she wasn't sick of me, she was sick of the relationship. I asked her why and she just said that she didn't want to keep hurting me anymore. So in my head I'm wondering what she is doing to hurt me. I mean I was happy being with her, but at times I would be frustrated because I would feel neglected, but I still stuck by her because I loved her and thought she really loved me back also. She said that it was her and that it was not me. She broke it off and told me that she still wanted me in her life as friends, but it would still be the same. I didn't agree to that because I didn't want to end up getting hurt more if she found someone else to replace me. So during the break, I was still seeing her for a month and it was still the same. But then she started to distance herself and wasn't the same as usual. One day I called her and she then told me that we are no longer together. I just saw her a week ago and everything seemed fine. Then all of the sudden she started to just ignore me and wouldn't even tell me what's going on. She just left it at that. So how do you let go of someone you love so much and thought that the person you loved and all of the sudden just ran off without any word? I never got proper closure. She just told my friend that she wants me to move on. I can't seem to stop thinking about her and missing her. I know that she probably doesn't love me anymore because its already been 3 months now and she still hasn't called or anything. She did reply to an email I sent 2 months ago and she emailed me early december, but that's it. She doesn't know how much pain I went through. Its hard to believe that she could have easily just forgotin about me. So if the person loves you then they would at least call or show some concerns right?

Hey Prosper. I understand what you are saying, but I think you are kind of misunderstood my situation. I did not ignore her. I gave her space. She told me in her email that she was only one phone call away. I even tried to call her and I did talk to her for a minute and she told me that she would call me back, but she never did. I wanted to try and be her friend still because I wanted her in my life still. It seems as though she has moved on rather so quickly and what she said about loving me and caring for me just makes me wonder if it was all fake. How can someone fall out of love so quickly and bounce out? She hasn't called, texted, asked about me. Nothing except for those emails she sent me as I mentioned. She sent 2 emails to me. Yes true I should leave her be, but how can I when someone tells you how much they love you and care for you and just bounce out without any word? How would you feel if you were in my situation. Don't you feel as though you need closure from the person that broke up with you? I'm not stalking her. I don't go to her house. I don't show up where she goes. I haven't even seen her. I don't try and find things out. I have friends that just tell me what's going on. And the things I found out because my friends thought it was the right thing that I knew. What's really killing me is that I thought I was the best thing she had and now I feel like i'm worthless. Like I was an object that keep her happy for awhile until she no longer needed me so that she could toss me aside. Thanks for you advice, but I'm sorry I feel as though if you say that you really loved somebody and decide that you didn't want to be with that person then that person just needs to say that they no longer want to be with you because you no longer loved them anymore. Sounds really harsh, but at least that's the truth and yes the truth hurts. And that's what I just want. She could at least have the decency to consider for my feelings if she thought I was so important in her life. She's not doing me any favors when she's the one that says she wants me in her life yet she doesn't want to be in any relationship. I'm guessing since she's only 21 still and girls these days don't want to commit yet. She wants to have fun without feeling guilty being with me. I never hurt her or cheated on her. I was there for her when she needed me most. I was completely faithful to her. And what do I get out of it?

Please anymore more advice would be greatly appreciated. Does anyone know where I can seek help from a counselor. I'm in California in the Bay Area near San Francisco. Or am I making this harder on myself then it really is? I just need more of people's opinions and from maybe the ones who does the dumping perpective's and their stories.

Hi SandyD. Thanks for your advice. Yeah my ex told my friend (girl) that she don't think that she ever loved me. That really crushed me because I gave my heart to her and to her that, It made me really sick. I trusted her with my heart and thought she was real to me. I guess I'm wrong about her. It is still hard eachday. Seems like it's never ending. You're also right that I should not try and be her friend because I still have feelings for her and that I will end up getting hurt all over again.

Hi everyone. Ok I have already posted here once before and this is my second time posting in this forum. My ex-girlfriend had broken up with me about 3 months now after being together for 1.5 years. l couldn't understand why she would not want to be with me anymore. I say this because I treated her with respect and she meant everything to me. Her reason for breaking up with me still till this day doesn't make me understand because she said that she no longer wanted a relationship and that it was her and not me. She said she wanted to be free of no obligations to anyone including me. She told me that this was the hardest thing she had to do. She even told me to let her go, but I told her that I couldn't because I loved her so much. She said that she didn't want to have to let me go. She also said that she wanted me in her life still and that she wanted to be friends and that it would still be the same. She assured me that everything would be ok. So for a month after we officially broke up. We were seeing eachother. I would initiate contact and she would never call me because I wanted her back so bad. Each time I saw her it would still be the same as if we were going out. But I was started to get the feeling that she was distancing herself. But I keep getting my hopes ups because she would say that she loved me and cared for me. After the last time I saw her, I thought that everything was ok. And one day I called her when she didn't call me for about 4 days and her guy friend was over there. Supposevly from Southern California visting her for a couple of days because she hasn't seen him for a long time. I knew about him but I never met this guy. I asked if I could meet him and she got offensive and asked why. I was feeling a bit jealous that maybe she and this guy had a thing for some time now and that she never told me. I mean was I overreacting? Then she told me that I shouldn't care and that we are no longer together anyways. I told her that is was not about him and that its about us. But in my mind he was part of the reason too because I thought that she probabli had replaced me so soon after telling me how much she cared for me and all. That was the last time I talked to her and that was it. She tore my heart into a million pieces. Within the 3 months she had emailed me back after asking her for closure and that if she still loved me. She didn't give me a straight answer. She just said that "if it confuses you so much then I won't say that I love you" (even if I still do) I told her in the email that I couldn't be her friend because it hurts too much. She turns it around and tells me that "if pushing people away is your way of dealing with problems then so be it" " I won't force you to be my friend" What she said in the email is as if she just moved on so quickly and that I didn't mean anything to her. And after that email, I didn't hear from her again nor did I emailed her back. I did the NC for for about a month or so and early December 04 she emailed me telling me how she was doing and how grateful she was and how she will always remember the things I've done for her and her family. She also asked me how I was and that it was ok if I didn't reply back to her. Well I replied back to her with a long email telling her how I felt and that she didn't leave me with closure. I was really happy and but at the same time really upset so I told her I have found out that she went clubbing with her girlfriend and also found out from my friend that she went to a rave with her suppose guyfriend. She was on Extasy and was holding hands with the guy. She told my friend to not let anyone know especially me. I don't know for sure if she's involved with him. She won't even tell me. Anyways after that email, I didn't get a reply back or anything. I heard from another friend that she got really upset and that she thought I didn't write her that email and that she suspects that those words were influenced by my guy friends. I don't know if I should've told her how I felt and about what I found out, but all I wanted was closure. I've been thinking about her and missing her ever since. I just want to stop thinking about her and wishing her to come back to me despite her leaving without showing any kind of concern towards my feelings. Last week my ex's parents stopped by my work to get an oil change. I was really happy to see them. They seemed happy to see me too. They told me that they stopped by the day before, but wasn't sure if I was working. I really missed them because they are like parents to me. And havn't seen them for over 2 months. I couldn't talk to them long because I had to work, but told me that they wanted to take me out to eat with them. Just the 3 of us. That made my day a whole lot better knowing that maybe at least the parents are thinking of me and came to visit me. Today I have sent her another email saying this: Did you receive the last email I sent you? If so why haven't you responded? I'm trying so hard to just leave you alone and I'm dying inside. The reason I keep emailing you is because I want know what you are feeling. I did everything I can to try and understand, but you won't let me understand. I will never get closure until you just tell me what's going on. You are not doing me a favor by just leaving it all behind like this. I thought I meant a lot to you. Can you please just give me a straight answer? And why do you ignore me when I'm trying so hard to just get answers from you and you won't even talk to me. What happened about wanting to be friends with me? Part of me wants to let you go, but part of me want to stay. If you really loved me then at least tell me. Is it too much to ask? I promise this time that I will never bother you again. Just tell me that you don't love me anymore and that you want me to leave you alone and that you didn't want to be with me anymore. That's all I ask from you. If you don't reply to this email then I will know that you don't care about me or anything I said. I emailed her last week telling her if she didn't want nothing to do with me then to let me know and I still havn't gottin a reply back so I emailed her this. I'm so sorry guys for sounding so pathetic and making this post so long. I just want closure really bad and I feel as though I never got that closure. I can't help but missing her and thinking about her every single day for 3 months now. I tried so hard to keep myself busy, but I always end up being reminded by her. Why is it so hard for me to just let it go? And I want to know if I can get hypnotised or something to forget about her. Its just so hard. So if she doesn't email me back then I know I have to move on and shouldn't hold on anymore because its been awhile now. Any advice needed badly. PLEASE HELP! =(

Hey guys. Hey rich46 you are right on what you said. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and I still feel like I'm not totally over her. I havn't talked to her or seen her for several months now. When she broke up with me, she told me that she wanted some time apart, but then decided to break up with me for no apparent reason. Maybe cuz I keep being around and she got annoyed at me and didn't want me back. I was so good to her too. She also said that she wanted to be friends with me and that she wanted me in her life still. She told me breaking up with me was the hardest thing she had to do. She even went on to say that we could be friends but closer. Obviously meaning friends with benefits. At first I was ok with that cuz I still loved her and wanted to still be with her. But realized that it was my mistake to let her mess with my emotions being there for her and seeing her during the time of a breakup still. We even had sex each time we saw eachother. So when that happened it gave me false hopes that she would want me back. Now I have been doing the NC thing. It's still hard a lot of the time cuz when I feel lonely, I would think about calling her, but I think back of what she did to me and I stop myself by doing that. I told her also that I could not be her friend cuz it hurts too much to be friends. I guess what I'm trying say is to also tell other people who are in the same situation as I was in is that if the gf/bf breaks up with you and you have done nothing but loved them and cared for them with all your heart and leave you. Then realize that you have done all you can and there is nothing you could really do. You can't convince them. You shouldn't beg. Dont keep calling them or trying to stalk them. All that won't work. If they didn't see how great of a person you are then that is their loss, not your's. I guarantee it that they will realize it someday and question why the hell they dump the best thing they had. And by that time it may be already be too late. Who knows. Just keep being the way you are and someday you will find someone better who will love you and appreciate you the way you deserve.

Thank you all for your guy's advise. I've been trying to keep myself busy and hanging out with my friends. I hate having to think of her. I would wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking about her and then I would fall asleep and think about her again when I wake up. This has been happening for a few months still and its hella eating away at me. But I know I have to forget her. I guess i really had a hard accepting it cuz I thought she the person I fell in love with. But turns out she is no longer the person I knew. I am still in college right now so I think that I will stay away from having another relationship. I will just concentrate on graduating and then I can get myself a girl =) well I never know though. But if I do get another girl, I won't try as hard to please her and if she's telling me that she a bi**h then that's gunna be a *red light* Cuz one time I indirectly called her a bi**h, but didn't say it. I told her why she was being one and that's the only time I really hurt her feelings. Other than that I made hella sacrafices for her. I can't really think of a time when she went out of her way for me. She made me happy and all, but she didn't consider for my feelings a lot of times and she even knows she's selfish. She even told me to be more selfish after she broke it off. Told me that I need to concentrate on myself. She told me that we could still be friends but closer without strings attached. I asked her isn't that friends with benefits? She told me no it's not like we are using eachother. At first I was ok with it cuz I didn't want to lose her. But then I thought about it really she was using me. I brought it up and she got pissed at me. But anyways its been like several months now and I havn't seen her or talked to her. I wonder at times if she misses me or wishes she didn't lose me. I hope she will realize though. Anymore more advice from you guys will be appreciated. All those advise made that has been given to me made sense. Thank you guys. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to EVERYONE!

Thanks for your reply. That really helped. I know now that I realized like you said that I didn't do her any favors by taking her to work. But I did those things because I loved her and I wanted to help her out. But I guess she got too comfortable. And the reason I called her because I wanted to know what was going on. I was really confused because she said she still loved me and cared for me. If she would've said that she no longer loved me and didn't want to be with me would hurt me badly, but at least I would understand why she broke up with me.

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on this site so please bear with me. This will be a long post. Thank you for reading. I am 23 years old and my ex is 21. We were together for about 1.5 years and waited to ask her out after 3 months when I met her. I met her at a club when one of my friend (girl) invited me to a club. I asked for her number and I called her a few days later. We connected realli quickly and after a few weeks or so we already had sex. It happened all so fast. And I started to really like this girl. In the beggining she told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship and so I just keep pursuing her until I finally asked her out after 3 months. Anyways we got along really well and I met her parents and she met mine also. Her parents really loved me and my parents also liked her. I always went over to her house and we couldn't stop seeing eachother. She had told me that she already loved me when she texted me the first month and I was really surprised. It didn't take much longer for me to start feeling like I loved her too. I cared about this girl with all my heart and did everything for her. She got a receptionist job at Ethan Allen and I drove her hella far just so she could get her interview. And when she got the job I would always drive her to work when her parents couldn't take her to work and I would also pick her up at work. Sometimes I would take her to work and wait for her for 4 hours to get off and then pick her up again because it would be a waste of gas money to come all the way back. She could have taken the train back home, but I didn't want her to take it home at night because its around a bad neighborhood and plus it was at night. So I would always change my schedule so that I could pick her up. I did that for over a 1 year and that started to takes its toll. So I told her that she needs to start driving. I helped her get a car and a permit, but she always let her younger sister borrow the car because her excuse was that her younger sister needed the car more cuz she have work and school. I'm thinking ok "no you need the car more cuz you have work and school also" and so she would get mad at me. She would always complain to me that she knows she needs a license and she knows she's handicapped cuz she can't drive. But I never pushed her to get her license. I was always being patient with her. Her sister ended blowing the car motor so she no longer had a car. She never even really used it to practise driving. And so her permit had expired. So again I had to take her to get her permit again. She keep promising me that she will get her license by summer and she always keeps putting it off. I really felt neglected because I did everything I could to help her out and she still complains and makes me drive her around. I don't even mind driving her around. Its just that I wanted her to be more independent. Anyways after being there for her and loving her even though she didn't consider for my feelings I still keep by her side because I really loved her and cared for her. I was so sincere to her and was always there for her no matter what. This year in October Labor day is when she broke up with me. She told me that she no longer wanted a relationship and she felt it was a burden. She said she wanted to finish school, travel, etc without feeling the obligation being in a relationship. She told me that she still loved me and cared for me and that she still wanted me in her life, but as friends. I told her that if she lets me go then just let me go completely cuz I loved her too much. We were sitting in the car in front of her house and were crying our eyes out. I tried to be strong but it was hurting so much. She said goodbye to me and tried to kiss me but I turned away and she kissed me on the cheeks. Well before that, She told me that she wanted a break cuz of some fight that we had. I don't even remember what we fought about, but thats when she started crying and saying that she didn't want to hurt me and all. She said that we are still together and still the same, but she needed some space. So I respected her wishes and I gave her space. During that time she never called me to say hi or how I was doing. I always ended up calling her and asking her if I could see her and that I missed her. And so I would go to her house and everything would seem ok. All of the sudden one day she told me that she was going to visit one of her best friends from her native land who was her classmate and she happened to find her through Friendster or someting. And she told me that her 2 guy friends were going also. So I was ok I'm cool with that. Before she told me she was going over to visit her friend. I remember her asking me about one of her guy friends that he wanted to know what kind of oil his car takes. She told me that it was a Infiniti and I told her that he should just come by my work and I would just hook him up with a oil change. She just say "Oh no he was just wondering" Keep in mind that I never met these friends of hers. Anyways she got picked up by her guy friends and went over there. She told me before she left on the phone that she was going to call me when she got there. I waited for her call and she never called me that night. The next day I asked her why she didn't call and she said that her phone died. I always got upset at her because she always forgets to charge her phone or have it on in case I could contact her. Well she got upset at me and told me that she was sorry and that she was busy having fun so she forgot her phone was off or dead. I called her another day and I asked her what she was going to do that day. She told me that they were gunna go drink and swim. In my mind i'm thinking okay there's her friend and 2 of her guy friends + Alcohol + hottub and what does that equal? I don't care if they are her friends. If they are guys and they are friends with girls. They might be thinking they might get lucky or whatever when there's alcohol around. She got really pissed at me and told me that I ruined her trip and that why she have to feel obligated to call me when she's just taking time off to see her friends. She told me that even her parents didn't call her. I don't know she could be lying to me. But I don't know. So I told her that I won't call her anymore and that she should just have fun. So for 4 days she was gone and when she got back she didn't call me to let me know. So I called her house and her older sister picked up the phone and told me that she would have her call me back. I went online and I saw her on so I instant messaged her. I asked her why she didn't call me and she told me that she couldn't use the phone cuz her sister is using it. Well we chatted on the AIM instant messeger and I asked her how was the trip and all. Then I told her that I felt really upset that she didn't call me to check up on me and that when I tried to call her, she would never pick up even if i left messages. She really got pissed off this time. She told me that why she is always having to be obligated to call me and stuff. Well of course I would worried if I don't even know her friends and she was far away from me. What boyfriend wouldn't care right? I called her on the phone and so she started talking about breaking up and she started crying and I started crying too. She told me to let her go, but I told her that I loved her too much to let her go. She told me to make my decision or else she had no choice to dump me. I kinda sorta said ok, but i didn't want to. I never told her that I wanted to break up with her. Well after I hung up with her I saw her that day and it seem like everything was ok again. For about a month after the breakup, I would call her to say hi and we would see eachother and even have sex everytime we saw eachother. But she would never call me I would always have to call her. The last time I saw her, it seems as though everything was ok and maybe things will work out again. And so I waited like 4-5 days and still no call from her. So I called her and I asked her what she was doing. She told me that her guy friend (Richard) was over and that he was just playing video games. She sounded really annoyed that I called her. I just told her that I wanted to say Hi and wanted to talk to her. I got kinda pissed and wondering why her friend was over. She told me that he's just visiting for a couple of days. I'm like what the hell? This guy friend of hers is supposevly from LA and why would he come all the way down here to see her? She went on sayin that he was over for her dad's b-day and that he cooked for him. I got really jealous for that the fact that I wasn't even there for her dads b-day. She got really pissed off at me again and saying this is why we are no longer together and blah blah blah. She said that she always see's me and that she don't see her friend all the time. He's just visiting. She went ahead and said that why am I even jealous cuz we are no longer together. I started to cry cuz she sounded cold to me and that I should move on and that I'm stronger than this. I said ok I won't call you anymore this time. She told me to go hang out with my friends. So after that I didn't call her or saw her until 2 weeks later I emailed her how I felt and that she didn't give me closure. She sorta just left me hanging and I was questioning her love for me. She replied back saying *sigh* ken ken ken...i find it hard to understand how such a sensitive guy like you can have such a narrow view of love. you ought to know by now that love isn't something that is ONLY shared between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Love can go on even outside a relationship. If it confuses you so much then I won't tell you that I love you (even if I still do). Outside a relationship, love becomes unconditional because then ones perspective of the other person changes, you see the person in a whole new light...sometimes in a harsher light, but regardless the love is still there. Outside a relationship, one loses it's rose-colored view of the world, you see things as it is and it is your choice if you choose to still love what is left when all that is left is the harsh truth. Love comes in different forms and the reason you're confused is because you only know OF one. I haven't called you since that night because I have a feeling that I've been giving you mixed signals. Also, that night left me feeling that no matter how much I explain myself to you, you'll always see things your way. You will always have selective hearing (hearing only what you think you're supposed to hear) and you will always think that people are always hurting you. Change is one of the hardest things to cope with, but it happens and you have to learn how to deal with it. If you really dont want me to be your friend, then I'm not gunna force you, that's your choice. If pushing things and people away is your way of dealing with problems, then so be it. However, if you need me i'm only one phone call away. I apologize for the way things worked out (or didn't work out), and I hope one day we can rekindle our friendship because it was a good one. Take care. I was really devestated to her to just reply to me back like that. I felt as though our relationship didn't mean s**t to her. She expects me to just be friends just like that? I told her that I can't be cuz it hurts too much. I made one final attempt to make things work so I called her a week later at her new job. I didn't know it was her first day there. I even got her the application for her and that's how she got the job at the mall. She answered and I told her that I really needed to talk to her and she said that she couldn't talk and that she would talk to me later. I asked her to call me later that night. And she never called me back. For several months I had been really depressed and I even stopped going to school but managed to still take my final exams. I don't even know if I'll pass my classes. I was always going out and turning to my friends. They were there for me practically everyday. I never really understood why she would let me go. I was so sincere to her and gave her everything that she needed. I never cheated. never tried to holler at other girls. I loved her with all my heart. But in the end I get burned and left with nothing. One of my homegirls is friends with her too and she hung out with her and she would tell me that my ex seemed like she was doing fine and that she didn't seem like she was hurting as bad as me. She told me that my ex even said that she thinks that she never really loved me. My ex started hanging out with one of my close guy friend's ex girlfriend who messed him over, with her ex boyfriend. She lied to him and was seeing her ex while they were going out. I'm sorta friends with her too. My homegirl told me that they went clubbing and and hung out a lot. I was really upset that she could all of the sudden go out and have fun going clubbing and probabli meeting other guys when she told me herself that she didn't want another relationship and that she wanted to find herself. One time I kicked it with my homegirl and also my friends ex-girlfriend. We went out to get coffee and my friends ex gets a phone call. She started saying things like "oh you can't spend the night but you can stay in your car outside" "you can just pee in the bush" All of the sudden she says "Oh are you with **** (ex)?" My homegirl and I look at eachother and wondered if we just heard that.. My homegirl asked her if it was a guy or girl. She just said it was just a friend. She said that my ex was just home and that she couldn't come out. And so later I dropped her off and guess wut? There was a guy sitting in the car waiting for her. The next morning when I woke up. I realized that the car was a goldish color Infiniti. It made since to me now that it was Richard who was there. And why would he be there? Later I also found out from my other guy friend that he saw my ex at a Rave during Holloween holding hands with another guy while she was on extasy. Who knows wut happened that night. He decribed to me that it was a tall asian and scruffed up ugly looking guy. She told my friend right away after she asking my friend to not let me know about this. I remember her tellin me that her Richard friend was tall. It all started to make since now. And my friends ex-girlfriend was hiding it from me and not telling me. I haven't called her to saw her ever since till she emailed me early December telling me that she was greatful for everyting that I did for her and her family and that she was always remember. She told me that I taught her a lot. She started talking about how great her new job was going and that she was saving money for a car now and blah blah blah. She told me that I didn't have to reply and to take care and to update her on whats going on with me. I felt really happy that she finally emailed me, but at the same time I had to tell her how I felt and that I knew things about her and what she was doing. So I emailed her back a few days later and till now I havn't heard from her since. In the letter I was really angry and told her everything how I felt. After sending the email, a few days later my friends ex-girlfriend all of the sudden instant messaged me telling me how upset she was that I was indirectly stating that I was calling her a hoe. When what I really mean by was that her and my ex are hanging out a lot and that they share common interest that's all. I don't even know why she's thinking that, but I told her that I didn't mean it that way. Then my homegirl was checking my friends ex's Xanga site and she wrote a bunch of crap about me and she even had the quote of what I said about her in the email that I sent to my ex. I felt really bad that I had to get her in the mix, but I was really angry and just expressing my feelings towards my ex. But I know I shouldn't have including her because I said that she was so great at lying to people and that she couldn't hide from people. She really does have a reputation for lying cuz she did lie to my guy friend and she lost alot of friends when they found out she was lying to them too. She said really harsh things about me saying that I was a dumb f***k and this and that and that people shouldn't talk because they don't know when they are only assuming things. Well later that night I imed her and I told her that I was sorry and that it should've just been between me and my ex. She also was sorry for posting stuff about me on her website. So we sorta squashed it. I'm still careful around her because I know not to trust her so much. I just didn't want to fight with her. I also found out that my ex thought that I did't write her the email and that she thinks that my friends influenced me to write it. My homegirl told my friends ex that I wrote the email myself and that my friends were just there for me. I don't understand why she would be so upset at the letter cuz I just told her what I felt and that she didn't consider for my feelings. I'm so sorry everyone if you read this long post. I just really need your guy's input on why this happenend to me? Please any advise needed. If someone went through someting likes this. Maybe from a girls perpective of why you would leave a good guy when you tell them that you love them still and care for them and just leave them without proper closure. Why am I still missing her and still care for after finding out these things. And is she not calling me because she wants me to move on or she realli doesn't want to hurt me more? Did I do anything wrong to deserve something like this? Will she ever realize that she left something good? I don't understand why she would leave a good thing. My guess is that she just left me cuz she got bored of me cuz i gave her everything and she wanted to explore. I am doing all I can to keep myself busy and doing the NO CONTACT. And today I just sent a Christmas card to her family just because I cared for them.