SkyFire

You've got to think for yourself.

I just got back from a week long camp (music), and I can honestly say, even though I was asking the same questions as everyone else (intros and whatnot) for the most part (however, I got to know a few people better others), I started to open up socially around all kinds of girls -- super attractive or not. What you find is that they are just like you, especially if it's a camp for a certain interest. For me, it was music, so talking about music was effortless, which, in turn, made it easier to get into the more personal stuff as you get to know the person better.

 

The only way to get unshy (or less shy) is to just force yourself to get into social situations and just talk. There really isn't any other way than to just DO IT.

REALLY good idea. Helped me ALOT back in 2 years ago.

Camps, especially sleepover camps, are extremely underrated. Alot of people think they are for losers who have no life, but that's far from the truth. Back when I went to a sleepover camp, there were TONS of hot girls. Too bad I didnt get any back then because I didn't know what to do, eh.

hey i was just a wonderin, what are ur guys opinions on one night stands? i know many people do it my friends included, but if i found myself in a situation like that. i couldn't bring myself to do it. I dont know if my opinion would be the same if i wasnt a virgin, but i would think that if i did do it i wouldnt be able to take relationships seriously. And most of the guys i know who do it think of it as a game like who can score the most, u know. theres this one buddy of mine who is like the most promiscuous i know who took a girls virginity away and i couldnt help thinking to myself, hows that girl gonna feel when he doesnt call her back tomorrow or ever for that matter. Throw ur opinions at me!!!!!!!

One night stands are acceptable, with the right girl. With a girl who's a virgin and will most likely cling, sex isn't worth the drama that will come later.

I will only have a one night stand if a girl and I agree that that's what both of us want.

But what he doesnt know is that his gf still likes Steve but she doesnt want to breakup with Kyle. Im just worried that since my friend is so serious about his gf that he should now that she is showing mixed feelings. Steve made me promise not to say anything to him about it cuz he know he will go nuts. I dont know what to do......I dont want to see my friend possibly get heartbroken in the future.

What is this? Are you willing to let this happen? Your friend Kyle is going to be devastated.

I would not stand for something like this. I would take kyle, and tell him everything. Tell him to dump that chick. What's the use of dating someone who has feelings for someone else, especially a close friend? It will piss off both of your friends, but it's for the best.

Move on.

"I need some space" - I dont like you anymore, just like every other excuse to dump you.

There is no such thing as a soulmate. You are compatible with thousands of people.

Eating nothing is not healthy, and will NOT help you lose weight. It will make your body believe that food is unavailable, and when you DO eat, you will gain pounds like crazy.

Research PROPER diet and workouts.

What kind of a workout did you do?

Usually after a work out, its a good idea to take WHEY protein, it gets absorbed by the body really fast. Protein bars are... meh. Gatorade wont help you build muscle.

What is your diet like? What are your height/weight/workout goals?

First, your goal is not to get the girl. She is not a prize to be won or a mission objective. Instead your goal is to simple be you and be her friend. The qualitites that make you a friend are the qualitites that will ultimately attract her to you should things be meant to be. And what qualities do we all want in a friend? Someone who is nice, considerate, thoughtful, respectful, and decent. Someone who doesn't play games with us, isn't arrogant, brash, selfish, etc.

If you fall for a girl, you will NEVER be satisfied with being just a friend. Sure you can make yourself think so, but in the end you will always end up wanting more. How would acting like a friend attract her to you? This post is for people who want MORE THEN FRIENDS!

How does acting like you are too busy to be her friend, going to want her to be more then friends? Odds are more likely that she will meet someone else who does spend time with her, and fall for him. You will not only hurt any chance at a relationship, you'll cause tension to the friendship. And if you really have a crush on her, then you will most likely still be thinking of her even if shes not around. You will want to be around her and miss just the sight of her or the sound of her voice. You'll be wondering what she is doing right now and if she thinks of you.

I never said act busy. You should always BE busy. If she sees that you have other things to do and hang out with her less, she will value her time with you more. Also THAT is why fun and action is more important. She will see how much fun you guys have, and will miss you more.

This draws you closer to the point where she feels like she can trust you with anything.

Since you two are already friends, what is the point of this? As a friend, she should already trust you.

Now, I've found that the fact that I don't talk about sexual things actually turns girls on more. I've had them say to me that most guys will bring up sex and that makes them question the guys intentions.

There's nothing wrong with wanting sex. But alot of guys arent comfortable about it. They think it's wrong and it will turn girls off. If youre desparate about it, yes then it will. But since youre friends with a girl, you should be comfortable in talking about sex and sexual stuff.

Focus on your life, but don't limit how many times you can see her. That's silly.

People tend to want what they can't have.

Clothes, hair, hitting the gym.... none of that will really make you the person you want to be. They are superficial and don't matter. True growth is within. Yes, do things you enjoy. Don't focus on making friends, that will happen naturally if its meant to. Go about being who you are. And don't do any of this because you want to change or improve yourself. Do it because you enjoy it. You don't need to change anything, your already a great person. When you see that, you'll already have improved your state and any change will come naturally without you even being aware.

If you are a great person, you deserve to look good. Clothes tell how much you value yourself. Going to the gym will get you in better shape and raise confidence alot. If you have no friends, you should always strive to make new ones.

Who said self improvement is always enjoyable? It scared the living **** out of me approaching a girl for the first time. So did dropping my old friends who I wanted nothing to do with and making ones who respected me and actually enjoyed my company. There is no enjoyment, at first. But once you get around to doing it, you will feel ALOT better.

"Ment to be"? Are you sure about this? Are you willing to stay passive because you believe things were "ment to be"? Or do you want to DO something about it?

There's nothing wrong with change. You should always be improving. Becoming a better person. Seeing that you're "already a great person" is a self delusion. It will make you feel better, but only so much. You need to strive to BE a great person instead of thinking you are one.

Don't try to meet girls just to take your mind off another girl. That is unfair to the other girls you meet. They are rebounds, just someone to keep you busy. They deserve more respect then that. Don't think about meeting girls, just live your life. If you meet someone naturally, fine. If not, fine. But don't worry about it.

If you want to have girls, you should talk to girls, and date girls. It's just like with everything else. The more prospects you have, the less you will think about your crush.

So after months of limiting your contact and talking to other girls, your just going to kiss her out of no where? And you really think this works?

This is only done after you've built up attraction. Improving yourself, thus becoming more confident and better, will get you attraction.

Hm..

Maybe stop masturbating alot?

Also, RELAX. Dont be so nervous. When youre with your girl, chill out and have fun.

The original post was intended for guys, from a guy's point of view.

this is just another reason why ive been single for 2 years. women are crazy. she stuck around in a 6 year long relationship with a guy who treated her like crap. im the nice guy that apparently is still gonna loose.

what is it with girls and "Wanting a nice guy". when it boils down to it

i think women like being treated like crap.

i give up............id rather be single.

That right there's your problem. The whole "nice guy" thing wont get you women. That doesent mean you should be a jerk either. Maybe find good qualities from both extremes and adapt them.

At 16, Ive learned more about relationships then some adults. Dont judge me based on my age.

was i just "the guy to help her get over her ex"?? was i the guy to build up her confidence so now she doesnt need me????

You are correct.

Women are not crazy (though some are)

It is not women's fault, it is yours. Start doing something about it.

I'm depressed, more than anyone here, believe me...

 

i dont think anyone can get more depressed,

 

my exg/f just messaged me today after 2 weeks of NC, telling me she thinks shes pregnant, after she got off the phone i vomited for about 15 minutes i felt so sick and disgusted because of her.

 

she will go to planned parenthood (with MY parents) because she doesnt trust me, and will see if shes pregnant, god im so f****ing hurt, im so depressed and hurt and i hate her so much,

 

how can i get an emancipation? if i get an emancipation then my parents wont have to pay child support right???

 

what should i do?!?!?

Bro, relax.

Take your ex, GET HER TESTED!!!. She might be messing with you.

If she is indeed pregnant, try to persuade her to get an abortion dude. At the age of 16, a baby will wreck your life.

If she is indeed pregnant, then be a man and accept responsibility for what you've done and help her take care of the baby.

Ever heard the phase, "Hell hath no fury, like a women scorned?" Women are extremely strong people and make great leaders. In fact, if you follow typically assigned female characteristics such as compassion, compromise, empathy.... women would make even better leaders cause they would be able to work things out peacefully.

I completely disagree. Compassion, compromise and empathy are all EMOTIONS. In logical thinking, emotion must not be present. Women are alot more emotional then men. Men are NATURALLY given the power to lead.Sure, some women make good leaders. But they possess alot of masculine qualities. Naturally, men make more logical decisions.

The examples of women you give are all true... but look at MEN! They have played a far more important role as leaders and inventors. This isnt said to oppress women, its the truth! Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Socrates, Napoleon Bonapart, Alexander the Great, Malcolm X, Arnold Shwarzenegger, ect.

You say it is society.. in today's world, society tries to SUPRESS masculinity. Dont believe me? A man is not allowed to be male. The message that is given to us from SOCIETY is that men should worship women like godesses, and that women are majestic creatures and men are dumb brutes. Turn on your tv or go to the local movie theater to see this. In almost every movie nowadays, every male hero meets a female, falls for her, confesses his love, and changes his life for her. In most commercials, men are portreyed as dumb, and women are portreyed as smart and are always the ones to figure everything out.

You cannot say women are extremely strong people. There are both, men and women who are very strong. And many who are very weak.

 

And as I said in my last post, society has made this rule, even early society. And I did say afterwards that it is just the way it is and that the guys end up being the go-getters.

SOCIETY never made the rule. NATURE did. It happens NATURALLY. NOT because of society.

Dude, sorry to hear that.

But it's best to let her go. She doesent love you, there's nothing you can do. Some things are not worth fighting for. It's gonna be hella hard, but it's for the best. But look at the bright side.. you are a free man again.

Prepare to get raped in divorce court though

You guys are all making up rules. Society tends to do this. It doesn't matter but I'm going to have to agree with the others when they say that men are typically the go-getters. It's just the way society is. Ideally, we wouldn't make up all of these silly rules but that's the way it is. So might as well go after what you want.

Dude, no its not.

Men are naturally leaders. It's the way it is. Look back in history. Most great leaders/scientists/inventors were MEN. Flame me for saying this if you want, I really dont care. HOWEVER, I am not saying that men are better then women, no. Im saying, men are naturally supposed to lead.

1. Women are indecisive. Ask a chick what SHE wants to do. You will most likely get "I dont know". With a girl that's interested in you, take her hands and just start running. You'll see her reaction

2. Women are more scared of rejection then guys. Again, flame me if you want, but look at this forum as an example.

thereforeeee, it is up to us, the guys, to make the moves. That's the way it is.

Well, turn that around and ask girls the same question. Why don't they get the confidence to ask a guy out?

 

Spoken like a true chavenist.

 

But even if the guy does the asking, are they really calling the shots? The girl has to say yes, which means in the end, they call the shots.

 

Unless your saying to them, "Hey you, your going out with me." Which if you do I hope you have a medical kit handy at all times.

 

Because a guy is supposed to go after what he wants. thereforeeee we cant rely on girls to make the moves.

 

It's spelled chauvinist, and you're wrong about me being one.

 

What I ment is, it is up to the guy to make the moves. To make the plans, ect. Alot of women are indecisive, and if you ask them what to do they will say " I dunno". But if you tell them were doing this and that, you get "alright sounds good", at least most of the time. But in a relationship, there isn't anyone who "calls the shots", its about both people.

 

Haha actually... it will work if the girl has interest in you.

My age has little to do with it.

Arrogance isnt wrong, as long as its for the right reason.

Now you have changed what you're saying.

This is what you said: "shyness is a not a bad trait to have" because "after women have dealt with enough arrogant guys, some shyness is refreshing to see". Basically, that means shy guys are there for when women get tired of the jerks and guys who play them, and settle down for the shy guy who will worship them. Ha.

That, however, doesent make shyness a bad trait. Shyness is a bad trait because it is an insecurity.

Nothing is changed. I fail to provide the reason why those things should be done. I will do so.

Alot of confident people are nice people too. Being Giving, is good up to a point. When you completely abandon yourself and take care of others' needs, is not good. NICENESS, up to a point, IS a good trait to have. Shyness, though, is NOT a good trait to have.

It is NOT game playing. You take time off the girl, because once you start talking to her again, your feelings for her soar up once again. It makes the whole thing harder. The emotions mess with your head.

I didnt say you should change your clothes and hair and then bam, presto. Changing the clothes and the hair will make you look better. That'll make you more confident.

There's nothing wrong with change, as long as youre happy with it. Change is evolution, change is the reason life still exists.

Again.. with the game playing. It is not game playing. Your goal is to get your mind off the girl, to get rid of the "crush" on her when you think about her all day long.

Please explain to me how shyness is a good trait to have. What do you get out of it? You meet less people. You have less fun. Less CONFIDENCE. Shyness means insecurity, straight up.

This works for the long run. Even if you dont get the girl, you have already imroved your life. If you do, then you wont even NEED the girl.

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Ah, yes. Every guy's been in this situation.

You are crazy for a girl that only sees you as a friend. Or you fall for a friend. Whatever.

There IS a way of going from friends to more. Ive done it before, it CAN work.

Lets begin:

First of all, ask yourself honestly: is this girl turned on by you? Does she seem really hyper around you? Does she touch you and flirt with you? Is she always able to make time so the two of you can hang out?

Theres one of two things that happen now:

First, you are 100 % sure she is interested. I mean, 100 %. If there is even the slightest doubt, then keep reading. If not, you go take her out on a date, and you kiss her.

If there is doubt in you, a feeling in your stomach, then keep reading. She only sees you as a "friend", someone who she isnt interested sexually in.

You now have a goal. The goal is to get the girl. It is possible, but it will require you to put in alot of time and work. But in the end you will be satisfied. Because the way this works, if done right, you will still be happy in the end. Trust me on this, you will see why later on.

Now..

Time to forget about the girl, for now. Dont talk to her as much as you used to, if you do, keep the convo short and simple. Hang out with her alot less. This is done to take your mind off the girl. You need to get rid of the "crush" state of mind, because the emotions will only mess with your head. Every time you see the girl, your feelings for her will soar up even higher, and you will always be thinking "does she like me?".

When you DO hang out, make sure it has action, like go carting and rock climbing, NO DINNER AND MOVIE!

When hanging out, dont agree with everything she says. Just have some fun. Talk about sex and sexual things. Big one. Ask her questions about it, ect. Not too much though. Playfully push her, tickle her, ect. Have FUN. Try to avoid sitting down and having long talks with her, ect. Still, you should be aloof with her. Dont spend alot of time with her , maybe about 2-3 times a month. The focus is on your life now.

Now, the hard part. You must change your life. Write down all of your traits, physical and personality. Now, another list, write down what you WANT to be.

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Read up on my threads and become the person you want to be. Start wearing nicer clothes, get your hair fixed, hit the gym, get rid of your shyness, whatever. Learn things you have always wanted to learn. Scuba diving, skateboarding, guitar, whatever. Make more friends. Be friendly with everyone.

Meet other girls. Big one. You should be talking to girls, getting numbers, getting busy. This is a big one. This is done, once again, to get the mind off your friend who you are crushing on.

This is really hard to do. You MUST put in 100 % or you WONT succeed. I MEAN it.

When you begin to change, she will notice. Others will notice too. She will wonder, what is happening to you? She will also see other girls taking interest in you, whch is a big plus.

By now, you should be so busy with things that you wont have time to think about the girl.

After about 2 months.. or less.. however long it may take.. you will see signs of interest from her. She will probably start touching you more, holding hands (big one), cuddling with you, have more energy around you, ect.

Now's the time to make the move. Invite her to do something REALLY fun, or if you feel it's right, even invite her to your place for a movie.

That is when you kiss her. You DO NOT TELL HER YOU SEE HER MORE THEN A FRIEND, YOU DONT WRITE HER A LETTER, NO.

When youre hugging her, look into her eyes. Right when youre about to kiss her. If she gives you the eyes, thats it, go for the kiss. Slow, passionate kiss.

From there on, its up to you.

At the end, know this. THIS WILL NOT WORK 100 % OF THE TIME! Some girls will never see you more than a friend. But even if you get rejected, you now have a life, other girls who like you, and things are better.

Good luck.

Instead of wishing girls to be more assertive, why dont YOU get your own confidence to ask the girls out? Because you're shy?

Fix that.

Girls are scared of rejection far more then we are.

Plus, it's a man's job to call the shots.