SkyFire

And you did this why? Since you dont want to be friends, let it be known man. Listening to a chick's guy problems will not get you the chick. Since you DONT care about her guy problems, LET HER KNOW! Either bluntly, or by switching subjects. DONT fake being her friend.

Not a bad move.

However, dont take the "c0cky and funny" thing too seriously. Unless your PERSONALITY is c0cky and funny, and unless you SAY it in a FUNNY way, you're going to sound retarded.

Ive heard of the c0cky and funny thing; it's good to use SOMETIMES.

Like I said man, if you don't want to be her friend, DONT FAKE IT! IT WILL NOT GET YOU IN HER PANTS, THE PLACE YOU WANT TO BE AT! You should have let your intentions be known sooner.

You get her attracted by NOT acting like you're her friend. Flirting, aloofness, talk to other girls, ect.

If you were single, but dating people (going out to movies, dinner, that sort of junk), do you think it is ok to be doing physical and sexual stuff with more than one of those people at a time, or even just with only one person, but still just dating others? My gf decided to downgrade our relationship to just dating, and Im curious as to what you guys think about what is ok and not ok with this kind of stuff...

First; there are no rules in dating.

Second; unless you are in a relationship, you can do anything with whoever you want.

Third; your gf isn't interested in you anymore. If I were you, Id end it here and now.

why the hell do you think shes NOT worth it? She is the most perfect girl she did nothing wrong for ppl to say shes not worth it. if you feel that way thats youre problem not mine.

Is she really worth it? She is not with you. So you sitting here wanting to kill yourself over her is not going to solve anything.

You need to wake up. You're making this girl seem like a damn goddess dude. Get off that cloud man.

You dont see it, but it IS your problem. You focus so much on this girl, you forget about you.

Dude, where did you get that?

We are all HUMAN BEINGS. We ALL GENETICALLY have the skills we need to mate.

I used to be shy and insecure as hell. Now, I have no problems with girls. I can walk up and start a conversation with any girl, regardless who they are.

It is all in your head. You draw a line between what's real and what yout hink is real:

Reality: Rejection by a girl is a completely meaningless thing, since girls are human like us and will most likely not kill us for approaching them.

Your reality: Approaching a girl is like doing rodeo

People who are shy, need to work on it. Just like with everything. I used to suck at math, but ive sat down, STUDIED 3 hours a day, and now math is no challenge at all for me.

It's all in your mindset.

If you whack it too much, you will not be able to keep it up as long. However if you go 3 weeks w/o it and then have sex/get head, good luck not busting within the first 3 minutes.

You are asking us for approoval.

Do you WANT TO GO WITH HER?

Im assuming it's a yes. So go ask her out already, before someone else does.

yeah well i have a knife right next to me im thinkin bout cuttin again

 

man, that does not sound fun. get rid of that knife. remember, if that girl is suffering right now, you are probably her last hope. if you are gone, who's going to comfort her when she needs? if you really like her, my friend, go find another luckier girl to have a life with. meanwhile, be ready to take care of the girl that you are in love with right now. for the heck of happiness of TWO girls, you gotta hang on and live well

The LAST thing this guy needs right now is being some girl's emotional rag.

Bro, listen. NOTHING IN LIFE IS WORTH KILLING YOURSELF FOR, ESPECIALLY NOT SOME GIRL.

Listen to me, and listen good. You need to FORGET about her. Chances are she DOESENT like you. If she did, you would know it, and she would not be with the dude that treats her bad, she'd be with you.

Im sorry if Im harsh. I am not here to emphasize or symphathize with you, Im here to tell it how it is.

Dude, read this:

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Listen man. This is YOUR life. You can either give it up for some girl that's not worth it, or you can go out and live it.

Improve yourself, boost that self esteem, meet other girls. Trust me, no chick's worth this kind of emotional toil. Put away the knife. Life sucks sometimes, you don't always get things your way, sometimes you slip. But that's no reason to end it man. Life can be a wonderful thing, if you make it so. Good luck, you can always pm me for advice.

For the record, people who act like jerks, ARE insecure. It's true man. I went through the "jerk" phase when it was my time. Then I hit rock bottom, and realized that Ive hurt alot of people with my behavior.

Not saying I'm the nice guy either.. Im kind of in between, I have the jerk's personality, like the carefree attitude, w/o some of the the a-holeness and insecurities, and the nice guy's politeness and understanding.

A "nice guy"'s ego is generally alot bigger than that of the jerk.

Girls are attracted to jerks, because they act masculine, to some extent. Girls never grow out of the "bad boy" phase, they still have lust for those guys. When marriage comes into play, everything changes.

I agree looks are very important. Ironically, I think that looks are far more important to your success if you are a man. I'm not saying women are MORE shallow, but they have a lot more choice, as men approach them. Also since men are supposed to do the approaching, if you are not good looking then you won't have the confidence to approach hence you never get anywhere. Before you disagree with me I sugest you go look on any forum for people with disfigurements (link removed the emotional forum is good) and see all the men (but not women) without partners.

I disagree. For a man, the CHARACTER is most important. You do gain alot from looks, but still it is the character and the personality that makes all the difference. If looks were more important, you wouldn't see chubby, not-so-good looking men with model girlfriends. If you look at those guys closer, you will see they have certain traits that attract females that are more vital then looks.

I heard that confident guys (ie. those who have girls falling at their feet or know they're hot/wanted) want the thrill of the chase more and want a girl to be more of a challenge - is this true? What's the mentality of a confident guy?

 

Note: By confident, I DON'T mean arrogance or a player!!

Confidence - Being sure of yourself.

It's a personal preference. Some guys enjoy deep relationships, other guys love the thrill of seducing. I, myself, like both.

Being CONFIDENT means just what I said above... being sure of yourself.

Tell me, why is being arrogant bad? As long as it's justified?

Sounds like horse dung to me. Actions speak louder than words, she would find time to see you if she was interested.

No more emails, phone calls on your part, unless she calls you too.

Then again, she might be really busy. Give it another shot once she gets back. Any more excuses, and you know what to do.

okay, i've been thinking about this lately, and wanted to hear some other people's thoughts on it. so, as a question for the females, does persistence ever change your mind about a guy? like if you gave a guy your number one time, he left you a message, and you ignored it, and he followed up on that, could that increase your attraction for him?

 

speak as openly as you want about this, i'm interested in hearing from a lot of different view points.

Chicks like a guy that goes for what he wants, period.

What you speak of here, makes you look desparate. I doubt that will make the girl's attraction increase, unless maybe she's already crazy for you.

For the most part, men want women they can enjoy sex with, if she's relatively attractive and not a psycho that would pretty much satisfy a lot of men (whether or not the guys on this forum will admit it). If you don't do what is necessary to get these women you're going to drive yourself into depression. You cannot ignore the desire to be with the opposite sex, for that is the driving force behind a lot of our interactions/activities in life.

I wouldn't say this is completely false.

At first, you will think that you only want sex. But once you get to the point when you have had enough sex, and wasted your time on enough girls, you will want a high-quality girl. Quality over quantity any day man.

As for the depression part; having no women will only make you depressed if you have no hobbies and no life. Once you start living your life, you will realize you dont need women to be happy. Sure you will want them, but not having them will not make you depressed.

Being a player requires more effort then someone who is committed? HAHA

Hate to break it to ya, but keeping a WORTHY relationship is a million times harder than being a player. Picking up girls is way easier than keeping them. Think about it; picking up and sleeping with a girl can be done in one night. You can be completely fake and pick up a chick for a one-night stand, but where will that get you? In relationships, you cannot be fake. If you are fake, she WILL eventually see through you and dump you in the gutter. In a relationship, you have to work to keep the girl attracted to you throughout the whole relationship.

Why don't people just develop personalitys instead of molding themselves to fit some stupid lable (such as prep, goth, punk, hippy, ect.)?

People want to belong.

Not speed, rather timing, is everything.

She likes you.

Intimidated? Only if the girl was a beast about to devour me.

Shysoul,

You are right that there is no plan with women. There is no full proof plan to get a friend as more. Sometimes it happens naturally. The "guide" I posted, is all it is, a guide. There are no "rules" and no out-of-the-box solutions for this.

What I am telling people to do, is basically to improve their life. Once you start improving your life and gaining confidence, you will get your friend attracted to you, alot of the time.

You cannot simply say that I am wrong, because you have never tried this, simply out of ego, because you have never tried it, as I assume by what you've written. It is a given, that once a girl sees you as a friend, unless you change, you will be more than a friend.

Sure female friends are wonderful, 2 of my closest friends are girls. But, this is written for the guy who fell head over heels for a friend, but she does not see them as more. Sure there is a slight chance that if you do nothing, she will see you as more, Ive seen it happen. But that's rare. What I have written, makes the guy change his LIFE.

I have also never EVER in my life said taht being a jerk is the way to go. I am against that, for the most part, because jerks are cowards in disguise.

You argue against me because you have gotten a girl to be more than friend by simply being her friend. How many times has taht happened to you? Since you havent tried the things I talk about, please do not argue just for the sake of your ego. Like I said before, there is never a sure solution with things such as attraction.

Becoming an individual does not mean simply doing things alone. Humans, by nature, are social creatures.

Being an individual means never being scared to express your opinions, and following YOUR own ideals. Being an individual means having doing whatever you want to do, rather than conforming to what everyone wants you to do.

Growing as an individual goes deeper then that. One cannot grow without conflict. You must have conflict and face fears if you want to grow. A fighter does not become great unless he has real life experience, and unless he faces defeat.

Please, explain. How do you Take what you want?

 

This could be misread into something very controversial.

Well in the quote given, you take what you want by not waiting around for the girl to approach you, but you go and approach her.

This goes with anything in life though. If you want something, you need to work for it, not wait for it to come to you.

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I know I try and live that way, but it's difficult.

Very. But the reward is...

Let me ask you this: How is it possible for you to regret something? I find it impossible... EVERY little thing you've done, makes you who you are. I dont ever regret anything, not even the bad things Ive done or things I didnt do. I simply learn my lesson, and move on.

Alot of people either live in the future or the past. People who are in misery, live in the future because they believe it will "get better", or they dwell on past mistakes which haunt them. Now many people live in the moment.

I believe that you should accept and learn from the past, life in the present, and hold sight and be prepared for the future. Living in the present is the most important one, because your life might end any second.

THIS IS WHY TAKING RISKS IS SO DAMN IMPORTANT! THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER BE PASSIVE! TIME IS ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS YOU HAVE THAT ACTUALLY MATTER!

Dont wait for life to happen to you, if you want something, GO OUT THERE AND LIVE! Nothing in this world is free, everything worth something requires work. Some people, will never get to do the things you can. You live only once, dont let fear and laziness stop you from living it to the fullest.

This brings me to the next thing. Appreciate life. Appreciate waking up in the morning and seeing the sun rise. Appreciate your loved ones, your family, friends, ect. Show them how special they are to you. Because the next moment, everything can be taken away from you.

Have a goal. Have a goal to be the greatest person you know. That goal is impossible to accomplish, because we are all flawed; no one's perfect. Still, it is about the journey rather than the destination.

Throw the "But it's who I am" excuse out the door. Because that's all it is, just an excuse. People change. Every second of your life you change. Change is good, change is evolution, the reason we are all here. Like I said before, strive to become better.

I learned that you can never be truly free of society. The only way you can do that is if you go live in the mountains and fend for yourself for the rest of your life. You LIVE in a society. Learn to adapt. Learn to exploit society and use it to your advantage.

But, have your own opinions and never be afraid to say them. People will dislike you for that, but who cares.

Next... Forget about revenge. forget getting back at people. That's just plain retarded. The worst thing you can do to someone who betrays or disrespects you, is have nothing to do with them at all.

Ive learned that the best way to deal with rude and ignorant people, is to be nice and respectful to them, but dont associate with them.

Those people who philosophise and criticise things... dont associate with them much. All they do is talk.. they dont get any hands on experience, but they criticize you. Pathetic.

That's it for my rants... I tried to keep it flowing smoothly and orderly. Enjoy.

Ah, for a second I thought you gave up

Because it shows her you respect her. What are friends? People we talk with, do things with, can share things with, help each other, enjoy being around, etc. Those are the same things you do with a girlfriend, with the addition of kissing and stuff. So the core of a relationship is a good friendship. Deeper the friendship gets, more she shares herself with you, more she feels like she can trust you.... feelings can easily develop.

Since you are ALREADY friends, this should already be there. Of course the core of a relationship of a relationship is a friendship. Since you are already her friend, you need to start acting like you want more.

Feelings dont only develop from trust. There must be ATTRACTION.

Fun and action really all depends on what you and the girl are like. What if you aren't people who like rock climbing or things with action in them? What if your personalities are ones where you can have a blast spending the whole night playing board games? Or where you are highly entertained by philosophical discussions? Hey, I can have fun with someone reading quotes to each other over the fun. What is a fun activity varies from person to person, the important thing is to have fun together. And if two people get along, they can have fun doing pretty much anything.

That is true, cant disagree with you there.

Do you trust every friend with everything? Or do you reveal certain things to certain people that you aren't comfortable revealing to others? The two of you may be friends and she may trust you, but that doesn't mean she will trust you with some things. The more she is around you and gets more comfortable with you, the more she will open up about more personal and emotional things. At one level she may trust you enough to go out and hang with you. But if she starts talking about her family life, shes trusting you with more information and on a deeper level. If she trusts you with her hopes, dreams, fears... still deeper. If you become someone that she can talk to about anything, open herself up around... that is ultimate trust and can help two people connect on a remarkable level.

To the people I dare call my REAL friends, which is 6 people, I can trust everything. And not because we consider ourselves friends, but because we have always been there for eachother, and always had each others' backs.

Again if she is your friend, she is already supposed to trust you.

Maybe our definitions of friendship are different.

I didn't say that. If you want I can dig out a quote about the future being born in pain. Alot of things are difficult. But don't make them more difficult on yourself then need be. I'm for letting things happen naturally. Be confident in yourself and be nice and friendly, girls will approach you. Yes, it happens and its happened to be alot lately. Don't be so focused on change and what you need to do, be calm and focus on what your strong points are. That makes us our best selves. And when we are our best selves, things naturally work out better and improvement occurs without all the added pressure and discomfort. I've improved in numerous ways, and I've done it, amazingly, by not trying and just expanding on the great qualitites I already had.

 

But we are already great people. We aren't perfect and we can improve on certain areas. But if you just focus on improving those areas, you can begin to feel like your never good enough which lowers confidence and makes you worse off. Starting with seeing all the great things about you enables you to hold on to confidence and realize that those flaws are minor compared to the whole picture, that you don't need an overhaul but just a touchup.

I completely disagree with you on "letting things happen naturally". Ive learned that, if you want something in life, you gotta work for it. If you like a girl, why do you wait for her to approach you? You need to take what you want.

If you focus on improving, you will improve. It will hurt your ego to crash and burn, but in the end, improvement will dcome. By expanding your qualities, you can only go so far.

Why do you put up with this?

First of all, she is out with her ex at 3 am and refuses to stop seeing him as a "friend". This should be a major warning sign bro. If a chick has guy friends, then w/e, but if she is hanging out with a guy she used to **** and refuses to stop seeing him, not cool at all.

She doesent want you to be at her bday because she is most likely cheating on you. Also, what is a 22 year old doing with a 17 year old? You can go to jail for stuff like that.

I think you know what to do.