kamitwi

You know what, as cunning and deceitful as it is, the "21" response that the guys seem to be giving is a good one! If someone said that to me, I would commend them for being close--I wouldn't even THINK that it might be a standard line! Guys are trickier than I thought! I need to watch out! Just be careful not to use this line with a woman who is quite obviously older--if she has a sense of humor she might laugh and tell you, but if she's touchy about the age thing, you might end up on the sharp end of a long stick! *warning, warning!!* Don't try this line unless you're a charmer =P

You're right I'm sure. The thing is, I've never been particularly attracted to men in their forties before--I think it's just something about this person in particular, Mister Cactus my friend. I suppose I was generalizing with my comments--sorry about that! I've never found a large difference in ages either desirable or appealing until now, and I think that that is why I am so concerned.

I know the problems associated with it--but I'm 23 and I'm in graduate school--do you really think that it's so unethical? He's 40 and unmarried as far as I know. I don't know, perhaps you're right. Not so easy to see it though ^_^*

Perhaps I will not be too helpful, as I am 23 and not beyond the age that you specified, but I have found that the years between 16 and 23 are...revolutionary. I look back at that girl and I don't know her at all--she was so uncertain, so hesitant, bumbling. I feel like I was an outline and I've been colored in... I think that women mature much more quickly than men during this period--not that men do not experience changes also, but from observation and personal experience, I would have to say that women change MORE.

True heart, I feel for you. I'm 23 and I have a hopeless addiction to a 41 year old man. Not that he knows it of course! I sympathize with the 'older generation mentality' you mentioned. I just never feel quite like I belong with people my age. I don't drink or smoke or club, or go to the casinos and play poker--not because of religious reasons or some great ethical stumbling block, but simply because...it's boring. The greater number of my friends are in their fifties, because it's so difficult to find someone near my age who I can have an interesting conversation with. I think it's perfectly natural that I'm attracted to the man who I am attracted to...but I'm too shy to ever mention it, and the age gap makes it worse. Do you have any suggestions, anyone?

I think the brain stretching effect of professors can be a sort of aphrodisiac. I am currently chasing my professor through all of the classes that he teaches. Anyone have any ideas on the ethics of the situation? Where I attend school there's a secret underground of grad students seeing their professors--I always used to be confidently disdainful...but now I understand. If he was interested I'd go out with him in a heartbeat--what does everyone else have to say about the ethics of this? (For people who are MUCH older than the kid we started out talking about!)

Unfortunately for me, I know the problem and wrest with the ethics of it too. I'm 23 and my professor is 41--a very funny, sweet, adorable person at 41. But he's my professor...and I'm his student. If anyone else has a solution, I'd be glad to hear it. Oh well, I'm just a silly dork with my head in the clouds anyway