DropToZero

Done it, wasn't all that great...it wasn't "meant" to be one, but because of the way things panned out after we slept together, it became a one night stand basically cause we never got to go out again...at least not for now.

A few months ago I was getting invited to parties and the pub every now and then but I kept saying no. I really hate going out to get wasted or to "pick-up" girls.

 

I don't even know what I want from friends or why I want them. I just know that right now I feel like a loser.

 

It's funny, I actually feel "better" than most people I meet. E.g. If I meet someone new I am always judging them and thinking "he's a geek" or "she's ugly" or whatever. I feel like I am worthy of hanging out with the "cool" people and not just average chumps.

 

I guess I have loads of problems or maybe I'm just anti social.

 

I'd apprecate any advice from people who have been in simillar situations.

Used to be just like you, and in some sense, I'm still learning...

If I had to guess, you're not one who likes to tell EVERYONE EVERYTHING that's going on in your life. You're a little reserved, but you will open up to a certain few which whom you trust.

The idea that you think you're "better," I will admit I used to think the same way, so I'm guessing you don't "act out" or get kinda "crazy" once in a while...due to the fact that you think you're "better" than this? I'm the same way, I still have a hard time acting out, but I am better at being myself. In the end though man, even though I don't care what others think about me, what they're really thinking is "why are YOU reserved? why don't you want to go out and meet others? have fun? drink? party? just have a crazy time and let it all loose?" So you look at yourself, and you may realize...you have no personality, now don't get me wrong, you may have one, but because you're reserved, and don't want to try anything new, no one else is going to know that. So of course, think about it, would YOU want to be friends with YOU if all you did was sit at home and watch movies? Would you want to go out with someone who never wanted to go out and just have some fun?(drink, meet others, anything besides sitting in the house). If you go to school with the idea that you don't want to meet anyone, and put any effort into it, of course you're not going to have any friends...think about it.

My best advice for you...GO OUT, try NEW things, accept the invites to go and meet others or party. You DON'T have to get wasted, but just go and drink casually, and if you don't like beer, get something else to cover for it. Honestly...a little buzz will lighten you up and open you up. Go join a club, go to university classes willing to meet and talk to others(trust me, I know how it is, I commute to school too, it sucks). The main thing I'm trying to point out, is that if you're not willing to put forth some effort and be someone's friend, they're not going to be willing to.

It's been years since I can remember a good kiss...but it was with my ex's so I don't really want to remember?

 

I'm hoping soon it will happen...hopefully in 18 days!

Ok so thanks, now I'm going to be mr. curiosity...now what's in 18 days? hah

Recently, i just met a new guy. He goes to the same college as me and works at the same part time job. All and all he seems like a nice guy but something he said to me has me wondering what it meant.

 

We were just talking one night and jokingly, i started talking dirty. I then said I hope you dont think im a sl*t because im not...

He told me he doesnt believe in the word...

 

What would you think when you heard that? he doesnt care about a womans sex life? Or he doesnt believe in the word because he likes girls who sleep around and fool around...

 

I just dont know how to form an opinion about this guy and feel it would be rude to ask this soon in the relationship.

 

Anyone heard that line before and/or used it?

It means exactly what I've slowly been learning in life...that people are stuck to double standards. I don't know if I would say I dont "believe" in the word, but if I had to gather what he said, he means what I think when I say...When it comes to sex, it takes two people, it takes a guy and a girl(or...I guess that's interchangeable), but... somehow when a guy gets sex really early on, he's applauded for it, and when a girl gives it up early on, she's labeled the above word. It's a double standard, and I don't believe it should be that way, and that's what he means...what you do in a relationship or who you sleep with is your business, and just cause a guy sleeps with someone early on into a relationship(or many times), doesn't mean he should be thought of any differently than a girl who does. Does this make sense...? I tried to explain it the best way I could in what I mean.

I don't know about the "only US" thing, but I date more than one person...honestly, it's the only way to keep yourself from getting attached to someone. It keeps you from thinking of only ONE person, and it also in the end helps you to find out who you REALLY want, because the one you'll want the most you may in the end have the "we're exclusive" talk with. But...until that point, go out with whoever you please, there's nothing tying you down until you decide to make it that way...if you do...personally I like staying single because it's keeping me from getting too close to anyone and/or getting hurt(or hurting another).

Yeah sorry man, I'm that way too...if a girl asks for my number, and I'm not interested in her, I can't just say "no"...so I give it to her. I just can't be mean to a person's face really that easily...even though truth up front is best, so unless I plan on seeing her again more often, then I'm just going to give it to her and not pick up or call back...she'll get the hint. If you've called a few times and never gotten a response or message back, then just...back off, she probably just didnt want to hurt your feelings and reject you in person.

Alright, I know this could be a very opinion based question, but...that's what I want to know based on what you've all heard. When it comes to "dating"...what are your thoughts? I mean, if you had to DEFINE it...not that all things in life are definable, what is your definition of it?

Now you're wondering why I may be asking this, and it's because...I've been "dating" a lot lately. The problem comes when/if my friends ask me how I know this so-and-so girl, and I say, we're "dating" or we've "gone out." For some reason, everyone seems to take this as meaning we're in a relationship, and it's really starting to get on my nerves...because then it gets around to one of these girls, and they come back to me like "we're not dating." I could be wrong, but I always thought that's what going out with someone 1 on 1 was...and everyone else seems to think it means I'm saying we're "exclusive"(including her). And THIS is NOT what I mean when I say it, I mean it more like casual dating(because I am dating more than one girl right now...so I definitely don't mean it like she is my girlfriend when I say "dating") But.. I mean, a while back, I even had one girl who came back to me and asked why I said we were dating, so..I asked her to define what we were doing then(by going out), and she said "well...we're friends pursuing more..."...and I'm like..."uh yeah...that's called dating."

Then, the last thing I want to say is...if you don't want me to call it dating...then what do you want me to say? Because...I highly doubt it would go over well with any of these girls if I just told my friends "hey yeah I know her...we make out, go out once in a while, party together, and oh yeah I've slept with her." ...Doesn't sound so pleasing does it?

So please....sound off...

I dont know sometimes, I keep going back and forth on what I want it seems...I think what my friend said may be right for me, but not for others. I am..."single by choice," I've been out with many girls lately(probably the most I'll ever go out with at once), but before the 2nd date at least or before I've told them all I'm not looking for anything serious to be upfront. I dont think I'm afraid of commitment, what I am afraid of in some way is attachment though, because I've gotten attached to someone and then had my heart ripped out, like others probably have. And...the fact that I'm going out with so many different girls does keep me from "focusing" on one and thinking of her too much-too often, thus keeping me from being attached...and I like that aspect. Then again...there is no real true passion and it's not the same...and I can tell when I compare them to a past relationship which I had my full heart into.

What my friend said though, which could be true for me...is not the idea that I like being single, but when I tell these girls that I'm not looking for serious relationships...what she thinks I really mean is "You don't meet my qualities for a serious relationship type person and I'm still looking for the right person." It could be true in some instances with girls I've gone out with lately...but not all, there really has been one girl I sort of regret telling her I wasn't looking for anything serious...but I don't know what will happen.

edit: kinda forgot to add I'm just a college student that's 20...so even more of a reason to not want to "settle" with one person when I'm at this age.

how long should a girl wait to have sex with a guy when they first start dating? do guys loose respect for a girl who chooses to have sex right away?

I dont think it really matters, prior to some more recent events with the girls I've dated lately...I used to think that a girl who gave it up really soon, i.e. first date, would be too easy, and I probably wouldn't really have any respect for her in the sense that it would become anything more than a hookup(no relationship). But...because I've begun to think about it more and more, I've gotten off this double standard where girls are supposed to hold out so they don't lose respect, and guys are supposed to have sex asap...that's hard to explain I think but the best way to put it is...sex is a 2(or more if you want) person thing, if she gives it up, so did I...it was a choice we both made, and in that sense I am as much to blame, or put responsibility on our actions as she was.

Well, just like you can be straight and have some homosexual feelings, you can also be gay and have some heterosexual feelings.

So...they're bi then?...cause though I will admit I've had random thoughts a few times here and there, but a naked guy won't turn me on I'm sure of it.

Have a random question in here though, commenting on the original poster...if a gay guy is supposed to be "gay"...then how does he "get it up" with a girls who want no strings sex?...shouldn't they not turn him on...?

I know you will want a full answer, but I'm sorry I dont really have the time right now, I just thought I'd let you know my input really quick.

1) Yes highschool is completely different, especially if you go to college. Highschool was fun, but in the end, you'll find it all to be just a great memory(if that's how you look at it), and no one will truly care what you did in highschool once you get into this real world. College, is like a fresh start, no one knows you, you can make all new friends, create a new image(if you want), and you're in control(for the most part) of the rest of your life(not teachers/parents).

2)No it's not the only way, I don't have the time to go into great detail, but I can guess, you're like I was in highschool. As I read, you think you're good looking etc...but for some reason can't land a girl. I'll be honest, I was the same way, and it took oh...I'd say most of my freshman year of highschool to learn how to actually get into dating seriously(meaning to a point where I KNOW what I'm doing), it's one of those things you just have to step out there and start taking chances to learn about. And yes...you WILL screw up, probably the first few times(unless you're lucky lol)...I probably messed up with like 3 girls before I began to finally 'get it.'

3)Ignore things in highschool? Things will change...everyone will learn in time their throne and personal "status" in highschool means nothing once they graduate.

4) that depends...it depends on what you make of yourself and the world, and your life. You're going to meet a lot of challenges, new people, and probably in turn come to face with MANY new ideas and ways of life. How you interpret it all....is up to you.

When was the last time -and with whom- you...

 

• Had intercourse?
  
• Made out?
  
• French kissed?

 

 

 

---- about a month(and it didnt really even go so well)

---- last weekend

---- last weekend

I dont see why you have to make her jealous...just...ask her out too...there's nothing wrong with dating more than one person as long as you're(and she's) not in any serious relationship. If she likes you more in the end, she'll choose you, if not, she'll choose him, if she doesn't like either of you...then she won't choose either...then there's the tricky one hah, if she likes you both(be careful! lol).

hahahaha....that's a funny question i'm sorry...definitely sex

Teasing/poking/grabbing/flirtation/making fun of one another(lightly)/sarcasm = very much sexual tension...to me...it's a huge turn on.

My boyfriend and I were talking the other day about what we do to eachother that the other thinks is hot. I told him when he kisses my neck, it's hot, and when he grabs me a pushes me up against something and starts to kiss me, that's hot too. He thinks it's hot when I run my hands through his hair. I was wondering if you guys could tell me what things girls do to you that you think are hot, and girls, could you tell me what guys to do you that you think are hot. We just want new things to try, even if it's something simple, like a kiss somewhere, or crazy, or anything, let me know. Thanks in advance.

Girls making the first moves...or even more, that's hot. Other than that...you kiss my ears/suck on them...I'll melt and do whatever you want hah.

Yeah, I don't have a g/f, but I had the same problem as you last night man. Ummm...everyone here said to try and have more foreplay, and that didn't work out for me, so there still has to be something else...cause I had like hours of foreplay prior to sex, then she said she couldn't feel anything, but I think it was due to too much lubrication.

As for your girl and you in missionary position, you said she felt it and then felt like she had to pee, she probably WAS very turned on, then the idea of her possibly peeing made her want to stop. She probably was just feeling the female orgasm, because some girls come and say it feels like they have to pee. Make sure next time though, have her go the bathroom prior, then when she gets to that feeling, just tell her to relax and keep going...she probably won't actually pee...she'll just ejaculate some.

For most of us, the perspective of an age gap relationship is always somewhat freaky. Probably is a combination of factors... a culture that glorifies youth, stereotypes, mean jokes about age and looks of "old" people, the reaction of ur family and friends, fear of the future -when I'm 30 he's gonna be 55, yikes!!- etc...

• Are you in an age gap relationship?
  
• What's the gap?
  
• Did you freak out first?
  
• About what?

• If ur not, what's the biggest gap you'd tolerate?
  
• What freaks you out about it?

I've heard that one way, though it's just ONE way too look at it, is when dating someone younger than you....take half your age, plus 7, and that's the youngest you should go. I think it's that way due to legality etc...I'm not sure so much if it matters once you get like much-much older.

Yeah I've been in one, yes I freaked out at first. The first time we "almost" kissed I pulled away and said I couldn't do it. I gave in later anyways...and it was great. I had shame of what my friends would think, that and of the idea of what I thought of myself dating someone much younger than I. It felt like I'd thrown a few morals out the window...but in the end I learned, I didn't really need to care what anyone else thought, and only that I was happy and she was. I used to make fun of a friend for dating someone younger when he and I started college...it only took me until I got into the same type of thing to realize I was only making it harder for him. I didn't understand it because I'd never been in the situation until now...I went back to him and apologized profusely for giving him hell about dating someone younger back then.

I don't know, but that's a great question. It's innate, I think. Cause little kids do it. When I was in primary school I would crawl under the table and thump the little boy I liked in the shins .

It's fun...we all do it, and just cause you did it when you were a kid, doesn't mean you can't do it as an adult. It's the idea of playfulness, it keeps you on your toes, wondering if he/she likes you.

In the idea of being an adult though, teasing and sarcasm with someone you like adds tension, but hopefully not in a bad way. I haven't really met a girl yet who doesn't like a little teasing here and there, and like he said above, if they do it back...it's on.

I mean, it's even going on right now with a girl I'm going out with here this weekend...we can't keep our hands off one another, she's always poking/grabbing my side since she found out I'm horribly ticklish there, and I grab her back and trip her all the time(we work together..yeah i know hah). And of course when she runs into me/I run into her...I just call her clumbsy(sp?) hah...it's all in good fun, and honestly to me...it's a lot of tension...it's going to make our first kiss like 10times better when it actually comes because I've been wanting to do it for so long now.

................

So I guess that is what my ranting is directed at. For those of you out there wondering what to do, why he/she isint calling you, do you smile enough, etc: just be happy, control your thoughts, and love when you feel like loving. There is no reason to hold an emotion back for fear of it not being recipricated. I'm glad that I can now love and now I will soon find someone that is able to return my love.

Or...you can date more than one girl at one time(guys for girls)...I mean, I know everyone's out to find that ONE...but the best way to find that ONE is to see as many as you can, and find out who is best for you. I'm finding now though, that dating more than one girl is the best way to keep from seeing one girl too often or getting too attached to any one person. Other than that...when the word/feeling love comes, if it does, I'll welcome it, but until then...

I'm on myspace, but I'm not addicted to it, it's fun, get to see and hear a lot of new bands...it's cool to see what's going on with everyone when you can't always keep in touch, I'm probably more addicted to this site than myspace. I just don't seem to have as many problems like I did when I came here, that and I'm better at figuring them out on my own...I do my best to try and help though and put in my insight when I can.

Maybe that's how you feel, but when I'm in a relationship I wouldn't carry on with email/talk/IMs with other guys, and I'd expect him treat me with the same respect.

Not trying to start a huge debate within this forum...but you honestly believe that? You think it's right, that I should not be able to talk to girls, and have girl FRIENDS? Do you really think I should give up all my friends that are girls and stop talking to them just b/c I got into a relationship with you?

Cause that's so not right, friends last much longer than most relationships, and they'll be there if anything goes wrong. That's where you're wrong about it, cause if I start ignoring all my friends and don't talk to them, and I get wrapped up in my relationship, I'll lose them. I mean, I even have a perfect example of a girl I know really well(I work with her), just got out of a year and a half relationship, she honestly has NO friends outside of her family and us at work because she lived with her b/f and only hung out with him and his friends from time to time.

Personally, I think that's sad if someone would give up all their opposite sex relations/friends just because they get into a relationship. I wouldn't stand for that at all. It's just about the trust in the relationship in the end.

Hi again. Now I'm feeling guilty that i gave it to her. That was soo stupid. I kind of agree that I shouldn't tell her, but now I'm afraid I'll feel guilty if I dont tell her. I don't want to hide what I did tonight.

 

What If explain the whole situation to her, tell her I gave the girl my email because I didn't want to embarras her, and explain that I regret doing it, and that I have no interest in seeing anyone else. And tell her that the reason I am telling her this is because I don't want to hide anything from her. Because I'd like some building blocks of the relationship built upon honesty. Thats a big thing to me.

whoa whoa whoa, I know you got hit on and have a g/f, but that's no big reason to start acting like all girls have cooties or something and you're not allowed to talk them. I mean, it's not THAT big of a deal, just talk with her, be her friend, yeah she may have been interested, but just think future wise(and I'm not trying to wish ill on your relationship)...just saying things change so quickly in life and you never know. Besides, it's not like you're not allowed to have girl friends who email/talk/IM/call you once you have a girlfriend man...stand up for yourself, have a life of your own, not just w/ your new girl.