Thedude
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Everything posted by Thedude
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Thanks you guys some of this advice is awesome. I definitly feel like I took the high road and showed her that the true measure of a person is how he or she acts in their worst moment.
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Yeah, guess she is. Dammit.
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Yea she broke up with me.
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She asked him to come. I think she is by far the meanest person in the world.
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My ex and I haven't seen each other in over a month and we haven't been on exactly good terms. Last night she asked me to meet her somewhere so I could give her something she left at my place (I didn't tell her what it was, but its something I bought her when we were together but never actually gave her). So I decided to turn it into a Christmas gift and put a card with it. It was completely pleutonic with just a few simple words and MERRY CHRISTMAS. So Here i am waiting to see here and maybe have a nice chat and be at least friends again, when she shows up with her new bf and 2 of his friends. She gives me a really nasty look, opens my envelop looks at the gift and makes a very crude "whatever" and says "ok?" and then starts to walk off and tosses what i gave her in the trash. She was acting so coldly towards me, as if nothing between as had ever happened. I of course was very nice and even greeted her new boyfriend and said hi, goodnight, merry christmas..the whole deal. But my ex, her new bf, and his friends all started me down and gave me the nastiest looks. Then she got home and told her friend "i am confused" and went to bed. What does all this mean?
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HELLO?!!? anyone want to help me out with the above post?
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Ok so its been about a month of N/C. But recently my ex has started to talk negatively about me to our mutual friends. In fact she told them I physically abused her several times and that her father wants to press charges. I really think she is trying to turn everyone against me. I have no more feelings for this girl, especially now, and oh btw she rubs the fact that she has a new sweetheart right in everyone's face. Do you guys think this is normal? Help!!! Course of action=?
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Guys, I think im over her! this new girl and i started talking and we both like each other and im totoally content with not being with my ex! She of course continues to initaite contact with me on emails. I don't even bother to respond anymore.
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I hear what you're suggesting dude, but honestly what can going to dinner with her tell him that he doesn't already know? In her min it is already 'finalized', if it weren't he wouldn't be on this site. It doesn't matter what she 'says' anyways, her behavior is already telling him what he needs to know. A woman that wants you, isn't non-commital or skittish. And hell, she's WITH SOMEONE ELSE. That's all I would need to know (and that would hurt like hell to find out I might add) but, hey if that's not telling you where you stand, I don't know what is. Move on, and if she comes back and YOU CHOOSE to give her a shot, so be it. But I just don't see what some 'finalization dinner' could tell him now that he doesn't already know. I'm not knocking your advice, only asking for what further clarity it adds to his sitch... Kip Well what I was aiming at was closure. Human beings long for closure. I would get closure from her, end things and move on. Right now it just doesn't seem that he or she are being honest with each other.
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The facts: -She left you for someone she has known for a few weeks -She is still in love with you -You are still getting your career together -you want her back Tell you what. Call her up, ask her for dinner, and tell her you would like to talk to her. Take her out, and finalize things, make sure you do not leave that dinner unless you are clear on what she wnats. And to figure out what she wants, ask her point blank " [ Insert name] , what do you want?". If she says " I don't know what I want" (which I think she'll probably say) then you have to go into instant NC. Avoid her, get your career going. IGNORE her phone calls (if she calls). Let her discover this guy she is with, he will start to make mistakes soon. She could be just playing games with you. Just focus on yourself right now. And make sure that you show her that you are ok without her. Keep us updated.
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Ok, so I STILL have not contacted my ex. She had a winderful time with her new man. She also said to one of my friends that "She is happier with her new guy who has the same sort of thoughts as she" and that her love for me is now non existant. I say its time i moved on...there is NO hope of her ever wanting to came back to me. What do you guys think?
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I haven't called in almost 3 weeks. Havent spoken to her (online) in three days. I have no idea whats going on in her life, but I do know shes is with her guy (hes spending his time at her parents house for thanksgiving, this is something she asked me to do only weeks before). Im trying my best guys.
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So, I have resisted the urge to call her like you guys said. But I miss the damn girl, actually I miss how we used to be , as opposed to this new girl who hasn't heard from me (or me from her) in 2 weeks, yet I know that she is always with her new guy, who she invited for thanksgiving dinner (i was supposed to go) and her whole family and her friends are complteely against her ever talking to me ever again (all he friends and family once thought I was amazing and a 'keeper', now they tell her hateful things about me). it sucks!
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Ok so lately she sends me emails asking how i am and stuff. Just random stuff. I usually reply , but very formally. I havent seen or talked to her in about a week and a half. I need a vote on whether to call her for thanksgiving just to say 'Happy Thanksgiving' or if it would be best to play mind games and just leave her alone. (She did mention in the emails that she never gets calls from me anymore-almost like she WANTED me to call).
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I just..don't know how much longer I am going to be able to handle this. I haven't talked to or seen her in over a week. I just look into the computer and see pictures of us happy together, and I remember how much she loved me and I her. But now she's with her new guy, 24/7. I don't know how long before i show up at her door crying.
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Ok, so I have been going into no contact for a while now and yesterday she talked to me a for a little bit, but I was in the middle of telling her something when her new guy showed up so she just left. I felt so horrible, she used to put others on hold for ME. now I get put on hold for someone else.
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Suprdave......and learning procerss..where are you two!
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I CAN'T STOP THIKING ABOUT HER, BUT SHE IS WITH HER NEW GUY EVERY FREAKING MINUTE NOW. AND SHES TOLD EVERYBODY SHES GLAD IM NOT CONTACTING HER AT ALL AND SHE HOPES IT STAYS THAT WAY!
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She says I am different now, that I have changed, that she sees me as who i always was. What to do now? Probably not talk to her, shes unwilling to forgive me.
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Ok so here goes my 20 minutes a day venting session. New devlopments that I want you guys to hear. apparently when we last talked we had a heated conversation and i grabbed her arm. There are bruises and she is telling everyone that I caused them, i had no idea that i grabbed her that hard at all. She told her friends here that she can't stand being around me and she never wants to hear from me or see me ever again. More than one friend and at different times told me "She says she is scared of you and just doesn't want to be near you at all". The girl freakin can't stand me, 2 weeks after she said she wanted to marry me! I still have not contacted her since that night, but she seems to be hanging out with her friends and such and she seems to be doing fine. And what with her new boyfriend, im just that 'annoying ex'...i haven't contacted her in any way since that night. But I just feel like I pushed her away so far, beyond even a possibility of a friendship between us, let alone getting her back. I feeel so down, help! This girl means alot to me! She also told people I am not the person she thought I was.
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OMG thank you..i really needed to hear that..except she keeps telling her friends that it is over forever. That she would kill herself before she got back together with me. So maybe it isn't going to happen. But seriously like im glad someone posted that. I will think about her for 20 minutes each day at night, and during those 20 minutes i'll log on here and write what i am thinking in this thread, thank you and more advice will be appreciated. Thanks!
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plz help
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Well, i thank you. But what about my question regarding calling her over thanksgiving? Also, what are other's perespectives on this...
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Ok, so no contact. What if she calls? Do I answer? Also, we are both flying to our homes (we live in compltely different parts of the country), for thanksgiving. You think it would be a good idea to call her at thanksgiving (that would be 10 days from now) just to say hi to her and happy thanksgiving? Or should I just NOT talk to her at all? Finally, what exactly do I wait for? Her to crawl back? Or for her to start liking me again? Right now..she doesnt trust me at all, is afraid of me, and completely confides in her new guy, who knows all about me and us.
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I already tried to do that, last night i tried to do that, and she kept ignoring me and when i called she was with her new guy and she WONT talk to me. I had to drag her out and in the middle of our talk last night she left crying saying i hate you and dont ever talk to me ever again.This is coming from the girl who at one point wanted to marry me. Trust me if i call again, she wont answer and she will refuse to see me coz she knows if she does she'll probably start to feel hurt again.