Last October my boyfriend got me pregnant. It was the happiest moment of my life. However, during the first 4 months of my pregnancy, I was the moodiest person alive. I snapped at everything that moved, expecially my boyfriend. We argued so much that sometimes the fights became physical, and that's when I moved out. I ended the relationship. Then, a few months later, I realized what I screwed up, and I wanted him back. I wanted to fix things and become a family. But by that time he was already over the breakup and was interested in dating other people. But since I wanted him so bad, I wiggled my way back in... sleeping over at his house, watching movies, cuddling, making love like we used to... Anything just to win him back. We slowly got back together, but he never did smile at me like he did way back when. I thought things were doing okay for the past 3 months. We'ed have a small argument once or twice a week but nothing major. Then, just last week he told me where to go and how to get there, and how he was sick of our fighting (even though we barely fought)... Then called me every name in the book (like he used to when we first started fighting before I moved out) It just hurts like hell because now I am 38 weeks pregnant, and I was SOOOO excited about becoming a new family with someone I re-fell inlove with. It hurts so much when you love someone, but they don't love you back. Why couldn't he have told me that he didn't want me anymore instead of sending me mixed messages. (Sleeping with me one moment, then pushing me away the next) Some friends in my life say he is just pushing me away because he's scared about the arrival of the baby, but even if it is that - I don't think he'll ever come back to me again. I can't seem to refrain myself to stop calling him, and everytime I do talk to him on the phone he is very short with me and usually ends up hanging up on me. On top of that I want to try to get over him, but how can I do that when after his child is born I'll HAVE to see him.
I'm just a huge reck right now, and of course being pregnant makes me cry even more. Its okay if no one wants to reply to this message, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank-you to everyone who took the time to listen...
Nibs_