roo

Excellent advice. I'm printing it out and posting it on my fridge. Thanks so much!

The song that relates to me now - after 6 weeks of NC (and holding strong) is Phil Collins' "I Don't Care Anymore" Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a down disgrace Drag my name all over the place. I don't care anymore. You can tell ev'rybody 'bout the state I'm in You won't catch me crying 'cos I just can't win. I don't care anymore I don't care anymore I don't care what you say I don't play the same games you play. 'Cos I've been talking to the people that you call your friends And it seems to me there's a means to and end. They don't care anymore. And as for me I can sit here and bide my time I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind. I don't care anymore I don't care no more I don't care what you say We never played by the same rules anyway. I won't be there anymore Get out of my way Let me by I got better things to do with my time I don't care anymore I don't care anymore I don't care anymore I don't care anymore Well, I don't care now what you say 'Cos ev'ry day I'm feeling fine with myself And I don't care now what you say Hey I'll do alright by myself 'Cos I know. 'Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard And you laughed in my face 'cos you held all the cards. I don't care anymore. And I really ain't bothered what you think of me 'Cos all I want of you is just a let me be. I don't care anymore D'you hear? I don't care no more I don't care what you say I never did believe you much anyway. I won't be there no more So get out of my way. Let me by I got better things to do with my time I don't care anymore D'you hear? I don't care anymore I don't care no more You listening? I don't care no more No more You know I don't care no more no more no more no more....

My question is...your daughter is 15, why can't she be in contact with him? I came from a divorced household and I talked to my Dad from about 8 years on - since my Mother never did. The only way your are going to be able to move on and find happiness in yourself is to have NC.

On July 4th, my b/f of 2 1/2 years called me - drunk - and informed me that he "is not in love with me." This did not come as a shock to me, but it was still very hurtful. I decided then and there to not talk to him anymore and was finished with his abuse. So, for four weeks I have done the NC thing. A week ago today, I found out he is seeing someone else and that really tore me apart. But then on Friday, he calls my cell phone and does not leave a message. Needless to say I have not returned his phone call. Every day I feel myself getting stronger and more accepting of his feeling and MY decision to move on. This is the second time he has done this to me. In March, 2003, I got pg. He was angry and said he did not love me and never cared about me. I lost the baby and I attribute it to the stress. By the way, he accused me of making up the entire pg. So I had the doctor send him proof of my miscarriage. So for 7 months, I never called him, but he would call me about once a month - just to talk. I was pretty stupid back then and would actually answer his calls. Although he never wanted to see me or make an attempt to be with me. In November, 2003, I saw him at a race (we both run) and we started seeing each other again. I really thought we could make it work. At the same time, I thought I wouldn't let me heart get as involved as I did the first time - but I did and he's pulling the same crap all over again. I am just so curious as to why if he does not love me, why is he trying to contact me? Why on earth would he do such a thing? Is he just trying to keep a "string" attached - just in case? If he does try to call again, should I continue to do the NC? How long before he gets the message?