limichelle

It’s only a mistake if you expect it to be more. Things can change you can get back together but it’s not guaranteed. If you don’t mind the fact you may never be her boyfriend again then you need to accept just being her friend. 
If you do have strong feelings still it won’t be easy just to be friends and it won’t work. 

31 minutes ago, beatlesfan77 said:

Just curious how many matches you received and how long after you signed up did they start coming in?

Hey!

So that same night I signed up I matched with about ten guys but only three wanted to talk. Then the two other guys faded and I remained talking to the guy I’m talking too now. I saw I had 100 matches but that was only if I paid for the app. Lol Or more like 100 guys that swiped right but that doesn’t mean anything. Because a lot of people just swipe right on everyone. 
 

I was orig

You’re not the air she breathes. I’m not saying this to be harsh or mean. I’m saying this so you step back and realize it’s okay to exit a relationship regardless of her mental state. She will be just fine without you, she was fine before you, wasn’t she? 
 

please exit the relationship as you are not doing you both any favors as you are no longer interested. 

You both are playing too many games for this to work. She’s playing the hard to get game and you’re playing the unavailable game. How do you think this is a healthy dynamic? I say one of you needs to stop the games and approach this maturely. 

You don’t get to decide that she’s wrong about the way she feels. I would take this as a learning opportunity of what to do and not to do for your next relationship. 
 

It sucks! I get it! The heart wants what the heart wants, but in this case, it’s not you. 

I feel sorry for his girlfriend honestly. She probably has tried to help her anxiety. You know anxiety is very hard to treat and manage. It’s even worse because you know as a person with anxiety it’s getting in the way of daily life. 
 

He’s staying because he loves her and is devoted to her. His own depression and issues are probably not a result of her. I would be so angry the years I dated someone whom has schizophrenia years ago, by the way was the love of my life at the time. If people said to drop him because he has social anxiety and has a hard time coming to social gatherings. 
 

You obviously don’t get it! Otherwise you wouldn’t be thinking she’s such a burden. 
 

Not everyone needs a little happy homemaker. Life just doesn’t work that way. 
 

Now if she was verbally assaulting him or hitting him. Then that’s need of concern. 

Oh no! Rubbing your face? That’s just another layer of creepy! 
I’ve had really odd dates as well. I remember going on a date with this guy who burst into tears in the middle of us eating lunch. Then he shouted “ This date sucks!”  He then found me on Facebook four years later sending me a message asking to go on another date. Lol 

I think the problem is there’s so much emotional immaturity for people that they’re not ready to date. They need to face whatever problems they may have first. But they don’t,  using dating sites as a band aid. 
 

So us girls or guys get the creepy people crying or touching our face. I just tell you to be aware. 

Yikes! 
 

Next time don’t entertain guys that ask for a date out of pity. If the guy seems off, it’s because  he is. I’m glad this guy is gone and it’s odd he pursues you to just ghost but thank the stars he did vanish. 
 

Remember you’re first gut instinct is always right. 

Welcome!

I agree with both of what you and Batya said!

I believe if you’re not looking out of desperation then love comes along. 
 

I like your sentiments and am happy you reconnected with someone. 

When I was your age chasing after this boy. A teacher pulled me aside and gave me great advice. “Find enough of your own hobbies and interests. Nothing turns off someone faster then seeming like they are the epitome of your world.” 
 

You need to immerse yourself in fun activities and find and learn your passions. You have plenty of time for love. 
 

5 hours ago, moodindigo91 said:

I agree with all of this. I mean, I definitely ignored red flags. What I wanted was for him to step up a bit. I was very busy with school and it seemed easier to have him around making my meals and things so I think that played a role in the blindness as well. I'm not mad at him for putting his best foot forward in the beginning. I am a little upset though that he knew he didn't want to settle down the entire time and he made it seem like he wanted to in the beginning. Seems super selfish. He is 32. He shouldn't be able to just galavant around and *** up people emotionally and run away to daddy whenever it gets to be too much. I understand I made a lot of mistakes that led me here. I saw so much potential in him, a lot of people do, so it's frustrating to see someone waste talent that way.

Anyway, what do I do in the future? All the men I've been involved with seem to have red flags here or there. How am I supposed to know which flags are deal breakers and which ones are not? I have yet to meet someone who is red flag free. So idk. It is just exhausting. I'm sure a lot of you understand. I'm just exhausted. I do feel like I'm a good person with good values and a good heart and I just want something so simple lol someone to count on. I am fine alone. I know I am. But damn, it's so much nicer to share life with someone else. And I feel like I deserve that. So idk I feel like a Hallmark movie rn lol 

I hear you!

Im almost 40 and I still have a lot to learn to find my life partner. 
 

You have to never settle for anyone if their actions never match their words, if they say things that indicate they themselves are no where ready to be in a relationship. You just simply cut ties and move on.

It’s better to just keep weeding and weeding through. Don’t waste a minute on someone’s disrespect. Sure some guys are good at smooth talking. Some love bomb right away. Just change what you will and won’t put up with. Becoming assertive and tuning into what makes you happy will help. Make a list of what it is you want in a partner. 
Do you want someone independent? Then put that on your list. Maybe someone who shares a similar hobby? 
 

This list will help you weed out those easier. Put virtues and traits at the top. List what you find disrespectful and what you think is a red flag. 

Would you have really wanted him as a life partner? You’re partner is out there, but wait for it. Be patient. Don’t settle for people who don’t give themselves fully.  Once you find someone who is a good and decent person, then put your hopes into them. Until then don’t give ‘jerks’ any more attention.

I agree! Actions speak louder then words! 
 

Someone can just say “I love you.” In actuality not mean it. Go by what he does to show you it.

I think for me it’s not what happens after I die, it’s the scary thought of “how will I die?” And what will happen as I die? That’s what personally keeps me up at night. I’ve been fortunate to escape death in my past but I know I don’t have nine lives. 
 

I feel op on this one I really do. It’s a thought that can easily come into your mind as you lie there awake. I’m a deep thinker though. I have other thoughts like “ what’s my individual purpose?” Things like that. 
 

It’s a fear I have as well. It’s because death is so unknown. What helps is distracting yourself when you get those thoughts. I watch something light hearted and funny. 

I agree with everything Tinydance said. I would imagine by now this guy would be more direct with affection and assertive with his romantic intentions. 
I know this because in my past I dated a guy that was similar to the guy you’re dating. My problem was in which I hope you don’t face, is that I wasted my time trying to be ‘patient.’ I was thinking it was a nice change of pace, a guy not being overly sexual and actually wanting to build something with me. So I went with it. But I was fooling myself. We dated a year and a half and I said “ enough.” There’s only so long you can go without affection.
 

You May be caught up in how nice he is and how much of a gentleman he’s being. So you perceive his lack of intimacy as good intention.  
What you probably need is a good balance like we all do. Someone kind and attentive and wanting to build up a friendship in the relationship. Not too quick to have sex and just bail! But you also need the guy to be sexually interested and romantically interested. 
 

To be honest I’m still trying to find that. It’s either the person is overall sexually charged. Or they just want to have a friend to go do things with. So I can’t give you advice on how to find this person. 

All I can advise you on is not wasting anymore time trying to get intimacy where it’s not being given.

Hi Lambert!

I don’t mind sharing! 
 

I have to stop my old eating habits starting now and that means a drastic diet change. I’ve cut out soda, bad carbs, I focus only on eating protein, vegetables and some fruit. I can have milk, cheese and yogurt still and healthy fats. I will have to start drinking protein shakes after the surgery. 
I will stop drinking my water with meals so I get used to not being able too after surgery. I can have Crystal light so that makes me happy, it’s replaced soda.

So the surgeon does two procedures before the Gastric sleeve. The first is an endoscopy to see if my stomach can tolerate it and to see my liver. The second is to get rid of the hiatal hernia causing my GERD.

Then two weeks before surgery I eat a bland diet and that shrinks the liver to normal size.

I will loose estimate of 40-50 pounds in the first three months after the procedure. Then it tapers off. 
 

it’s because I’ll be on a liquid diet for six weeks and then purée for one week and then solid liquids for one week. Then try solid food.

Im prepared and I’m ready. I’m anxious but I’m ready to sacrifice my unhealthy eating habits and food like pizza for life, so I can be healthy.
 

I work out with a personal trainer twice a week. Then I go to the gym twice on my own to do the workout she gives me on an app. 
 

my goal is to loose twenty pounds by April. Im making it realistic. 

That is indeed frustrating! I hate that term police throw around ‘circumstantial evidence.’  I believe it can be the most crucial. They have their protocols though.

Im sorry you were robbed. It sounds like you have good Leeds yourself on where it is. The police just need to get off their hind quarters and do something more about it! 
 

Hugs go out to you.

I’m beginning to think if when getting to know someone. If you’re having more anxiety then usual because you don’t know what the other person wants. It’s a sign you’re communication is already a little bit lost. 
 

just know this moving forward that things that come more naturally never feel forced or second guessed. 

When someone says “I don’t want to put labels on it.” I take it as a red flag. It means they’re not serious and don’t plan on being serious because they’re keeping their options open. 
 

Take her texts at face value that she’s telling you how it is. If you want a relationship it won’t be with her.

I’m so sorry! Many hugs!!

I’m so sorry. It’s hard to see our loved ones sick. My thoughts and love go out to you.