terp

I've posted before, so I wont go into great detail about mysituation. I left my husband, came out of the closet andinto the arms of another woman. My marriage was pretty good. Together for 16 years, two kids, we went through a lot together, we were great friends. Now, my new relationship requires SO much of my time, as it should, but I am trying to let go and move on, as is he. We are beginning divorce procedures and I am hurting a lot. I search and search and I find nothing on the internet to speak to my situation. I am hurting and I find no solace. My new love and my family tells me that I need to let go, but I don't really know what that means. I ask my girlfriend what shemeans but she gives me few examples. Can any of you tell me what you think "letting go" means for you. I hardly ever talk to him anymore, except about divorce issues and kids. He is seeing someone new now and I am glad forhim. But I am so sad. I need some advice. Thanks

... comes wisdom! Well, sweetie, you have made my day. I have no plans on killing myself, I just needed to vent. I appreciate your words so much!!!! I wish you could knock some sense into my 14 year old! Sounds like he could learn a few things from you. He is normal, and angry, and thinks I am the dumbest things since the "pet rock". I left my husband. I have been all over the internet looking for sites that speak to the pain I am feeling and there is nothing. I came out of the closet and left my marriage. We had a great relationship, friendly, loving, communicative, but.....he was not who I needed to be with. All that being said, I am still in a lot of pain. It seems that there is no sympathy for me though. As I said, the internet has loads of support for those who have been left, but none for me. It is though the price I pay for living my truth is mind numbing, gut wrenching, heart breaking pain and I have to deal with it myself, alone. If I could give you one piece of advice my sweet young friend......do things one at a time. Take your time before making life altering decisions, just when you think you have taken enough time to make a choice, add a week and see how you feel. Focus on one goal if you can. Well, as far as my other woes.....I am enrolling in school again. I have a degree but it is getting me no where fast because it is so specialized. So off I go to Blockbuster, or McDonalds to get a minimum wage job as I hit the books again................I hope to have my life together before age 45, I better hurry, I only have 7 years left. Thanks again sweetie, you are a great kid with a lot of wisdom!!!!!!!!!

.....my divorce is getting closer, I have a new relationship that is rocky, I haven't a job and I feel like driving off a cliff! I have a 14 year old son that is SO challenging, acts like he wants nothing to do with me. My girlfriend (partner) is always saying that she is afraid of loosing me and she is jealous when I talk to my (soon to be) ex husband. I miss my ex's friendship and how good our communication was. I feel completely out of control and at the mercy of the universe. I have been feeling very suicidal the past couple of days. Its all quite mello dramatic I know, but I just want to escape life. I want to be friends with my ex, we had 16 years together that were pretty successful, allbeit that I'm a lesbian. We worked well together. I wish I had just kept my blinders on sometimes. I wish I wasn't so "aware" of myself sometimes. Help

Dear Mr. Blunt; Thank you for your honesty! You hit the nail right on the head. I read your reply to my girlfriend and she feels incredibly validated! I know I have to let go of my old relationship, I just forgot that i have to do my own grieving too. Even though I came out of the closet, it doesn't mean that I don't still have very deep feelings for my, soon-to-be, ex-husband. I am trying to figure out how to operate in my new relationship with him, while trying to nurture my "really new" relationship with my girlfriend! I have to remember to take care of my own emotions in that process as well. Grief hit me hard today, and I am struggeling with it, but I have a very loyal, sweet and wonderful woman on my side that I am lucky to have found. I'm still worrying about christmas. I can't stand the idea of him being alone in our old house without all of us there. My guilt is huge! Thanks, and keep the advice flowing. Many blessings and peace, Terp.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 7months. We love each other very much. So, here is the problem..I am still married to my husband of 16 years. He knows what's going on and we are still friends. I plan on divorcing him. My girlfriend is very jealous of our relationship. We have two kids, 19 and 14, and we want to continue our strong friendship. She wants me to tell her before I make plans to see him. She doesn't want to be friends with him. She says I can't "let go" of him. I don't really know what to do. She knew from the beginning that I wanted to keep him in my life as a close friend, but it is causing lots of problems. the subject of christmas has come up and I just don't know what to do about it. I was thinking that I might spend christmas eve with him and the kids then spend the rest of the holiday with my sweetie and her family. She thinks that means that she has to share me with him. I am very confused and need some advice. Thanks