Speedster

I posted my problem yesterday about missing my ex gf because it was her birthday yesterday and how I went back to her and cried my heart out and all of that stuff... well things between us are still as they are but today I sat down with and had a long good conversation with a close friend of mine, one who has been there for the both of us from when things began to blossom to when they eventually died and even thereafter... My friend has made me realize that if I think about it slowly and carefully, that I am actually a lot better without her in my life and he was able to make me realize that just now. I all of a sudden feel a lot better about the whole situation and just wanted to say that for what has happened to me, I wish that many of you can have someone, aside from whoever is on this forum, that is a personal friend who you can talk to about all of this. Maybe that will be better...it's just that it was bottled up inside of me for so long and finally I was able to talk to someone about it and it actually made things better. Once I think about it, it's actually silly rather than sad and for that I'm happy about because now I feel like I can start a new beginning. I wish everyone else well and although a part of me will still miss her, I accept the fact that things happened the way they did for our personal growth. We both learned a lot from all of this and for that, I would not trade it up for anything in the world, even though it ended up hurting me a lot and for so long. I guess this is the beginning of something good and I am beginning to get back to my old self again Just thought I'd share with you all that there is hope afterall. Thanks to all those who helped.

oh I actually sorta do the no contact thing and go for sometimes as long as 3-4 weeks without talking to her, but I occasionally send an informal e-mail just to say hi once in a while, nothing much. However, certain dreams, certain things, certain days such as her b-day, the day we first met, or the day of our anniversary always come back to remind me how much I miss her. I'm ok until those days come along and then I feel as though I still want to plan things for her and get her stuff as if we were still together. I can't just let them go by without me telling her how i feel. Sounds lame? I think so but I dunno what to do. Now I'm feeling fine and it's the next morning but when times like Christmas and Valentines and stuff like that roll around, then I'm a complete mess... thanks for hearing me out though...much appreciated

Before I dive into my sad story like so many others on here, I would first like to say hi to everyone on here! I am a new member and stumbled upon this site by accident, but the more I read the more I realized that talking to people on here may actually help with all of what many of us are struggling with at this very moment. Thanks in advance to everyone for helping everyone in times of need. Now on to my situation...tonight was my ex gf's birthday and what did I do? I went crawlilng back to her house, gave her the birthday present and card I spent countless hours writing, cried my heart out to her, told her how much I love her and miss her still, and now I'm back at home with nothing changed. It will be one year this August since we broke up and what hurts me more than anything is the fact that she can just move on so easily as if nothing ever happened, as if she feels no loss or guilt whatsoever. We were together for 2 years and the reason why she meant so much to me was the fact that our relationship started out just like I imagined a relationship should start out. I wasn't looking for anyone at the time and had no initial feelings for her whatsoever. It just sort of happened over time, which brings truth to the saying that good things come to those who wait. To make a long story short, she broke up with me a few days before our 2 year anniversary and I had to cancel all of the stuff I planned for months for her. I loved her more than anything and while she may have been my first gf, I refused to get into a relationship until I had a feeling that it would be good, which is why I never gone out seriously with anyone until her. Is it really love or just the fact that since she was my first that I don't think I will ever find anyone better and that's the reason why I am reluctant to move on? I have a feeling she is dating someone else right now, which hurts me because she told me that one of the reasons why we broke up was because she needed some time off from being in relationships so that she could concentrate on school. That turned out to be all a lie to me, yet I still love her and would take her back in a heartbeat. She told me that she needed some time off to see if she truly loved me or not and a part of me wants to believe that. If she finds that she misses me and all that we had later down the line, we might get back together but I'm afraid that the more time we spend apart the more she will forget I even exist. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here...I guess I'm just still hung up over the fact that it's been almost a year yet I miss her more and more everyday. I don't hide my feelings for her and express them as much as I can, yet she just brushes it off as if our past was just a dream to be forgotten. Sorry for the long post...It's just that it was her birthday tonight and all of the memories of us always come back to remind me how much I miss her and everything that we did together. My post in pointless so I apologize...any advice you can give would be great. I just feel so empty inside right now. *sigh*