ebbs81

So my ex's mom called over the weekend and left a message asking that I call her back. She said she just "wants to chit-chat for a while." It's been 2.5 months since my ex & I split (he abruptly broke up w/me--we had been together for 2.5 years) and a month since I actually spoke to my ex (I haven't called him in about 6 weeks--the last call was initiated by him). Part of me is curious as to why she's calling now, but then another part of me is wondering where it would get me? I'm tempted to call back, but I don't really know if it would do more harm than good. I don't want to be rude, but then again it was her son that did this. Does anyone have any advice to offer? Thanks.

Just throwing this out there to see what people think... Assuming that there were no real problems in a relationship (e.g., no infidelity, abuse, constant fighting, etc.), do you think that there are a good number of instances where the dumper regrets their decision at some point, regardless of whether they ever admit it or not? If so, do you think they would ever let the dumpee know? What do you think would make them come to the realization that they regret their decision? All input welcome. Thanks.

amen, exactly what i needed to hear. thank you so much! i'm sorry to hear about your current situation, but you seem like such a wise, insightful, strong-willed person who stands up for what they believe in--i have no doubt that you will find someone who truly deserves you, as well, and treasures those qualities about you. thank you for being able to relate--it's very helpful. good luck!

thanks for the feedback, michael. it's nice to know that others have gone through similar situations, as much as it sux that that's the common thread. i hear what you are saying about the nc thing, by leaving it open to him. i really don't know what else he'd have to say either...probably nothing. maybe i just hope to hear that he regrets it, but even so it wouldn't do much b/c i have no intentions of getting back together. it's also a waste of time/hope/energy to anticipate that call, too, and i know that. perhaps he'll never call & i won't have to worry about telling him to cut it off...i suppose in time, if a call does ever come again, i'll be that much stronger and be able to completely end it. i'm glad to hear that not all guys are like that (i knew there HAD to be some exceptions! ) it just seems like such a stupid reason to end a long relationship, i guess that's what bugs me. his actions didn't add up w/his words, and that's why i feel like a fool. but i can't beat myself up too much...i'm not a mind reader, and he never had the balls to talk to me about it. ok, enough for now...thanks.

hello all, i am "new"--well, new to posting, not to reading. my b/f & i broke up a month & a half ago after having been together 2.5 years & i've been coming here to make myself feel better. thank god for this site, truly. anyway, he broke it off * out of the blue* after much digging from me (i could tell something was up). his initial reason for breaking up was that he was "in such a deep depression and didn't want to drag me down" so he had to let me go. so, all along i was thinking "wow, that is such a selfless act--he really must have loved me if he felt that me staying w/him would have hurt me"...if that makes any sense?! then, today, he calls me @ work & after some bsing, i finally cut to the chase and try to get down to the nitty-gritty. well, i came to find that the reason he left was because he "wanted more sex & felt that the relationship was becoming a routine." sorry, i didn't know that i was supposed to be a clown & constantly entertain you. nevermind the fact that 95% of the time, i was the one who came up w/ideas for things that we could do. and as far as the sex went, he never bothered to question why i wasn't too interested (it's not like it never happened, i guess it just wasn't as much as he wanted????). it wasn't the physical attraction that was missing, but the emotional connection was severly lacking--and he never seemed to get that... for him, i guess all he needed was my pretty face & *bam* he was horny. do guys not get that emotional connection thing, or ladies, am i just being dumb???? anyway, i could go on forever, but today i finally have gotten the wake up call to see that his reasons for leaving were so shallow & selfish... what a waste. the worst part is that he didn't even come to me w/any of this; he just gave up w/out trying to talk about it--communication was never his forte. i'm just so frustrated, hurt, but finally starting to get angry (now that i have something to be angry about). we haven't talked much since the breakup--only a few times. i'm back to 'no contact' and left it at him being able to contact me if he has something he "needs to tell me," but i told him not to call me to see how i'm doing or to shoot the sh!te. i just sometimes feel like such a fool. love truly is blindness. i never saw this coming--he wasn't acting any differently, or spending less time w/me. everything was the same. then one day i have a hunch, & man, was i right! i guess any advice would be welcome, i just needed to vent. i'm so sick of thinking about it. i don't really have any questions at the moment, i suppose i just wanted to hear what others had to say & see if you could make me feel better & feel like, in the end, it really is NOT a big loss. thanks in advance, everyone.