megahurtz

thanks guys I really appreciate the advice , I will get right on it 8)

We've talked about it, but we want to work out our differences and be able to not argue. The thing is, we NEVER argue when we're together, but when we talk on the phone is when everything breaks apart and it gets nasty. Once we can get our differences resolved then we would be able to call ourselves a couple again and get serious about it as soon as both of us graduate college this spring. I'm just very afraid she wont forgive me for all of this and it'll be the last nail in the coffin, so to speak, for our relationship.

Well, we did make plans for her birthday, but she cancelled them because she was still mad. The comment I made about her sprinting....she answered the phone out of breath and she said she was trying to tire herself out, come to find out she was trying to work her anger out before she talked to me, but yes, I still shouldn't have made a careless statement as that. I would like to marry her, I love her very much and I dont want us to argue. When we don't argue you couldn't find a happier person, and all is good and well between us. I've been careless and I realize that, is there something I can do besides tell her I love her?

Hey guys, I appreciate any advice I can get on this topic, so I guess I should start from the beginning. I had been dating this girl since october of '03 but we broke up in november '04 because we argued so much and we thought time away might do us some good. We continued talking since then up to this point but we've had occasional arguments. Around New Years eve, I decided I wanted to go to a party with some friends and maybe meet some new people rather than spend it with her. She got pretty upset by it but we aren't even together, if we were it would of been different. Last week was valentines day and her birthday, and I had planned a pretty big week. There is a friend of mine at work who I was talking to over email and having a generally long conversation with about what I wanted to do for her. I told her I was having a hard time finding Kerri something for her birthday because the sweaters, boots, and all these other little things were around $200-$400 just for clothes, and I'm not talkin about a couple outfits, I mean these are single items. So she writes back and asks if shes high maintenance and I agree back to it. I also said Kerri was a little weird because she hated valentines day (she wouldnt let me do anything for her last year). Well, later in the day I get this picture attached to an email that I thought was pretty funny, so I forward it to Kerri. What I didn't know was that the entire conversation I had with my coworker for the entire day was right under that picture. So yes, I accidentally sent everything I'd conversed with my coworker to Kerri. Kerri writes me back and didn't really say anything about it, so I assumed everything was fine. It was valentines day so I had planned on just getting these tiger roses from a florist here and a box of chocolates, nothing too big since I thought she might be against the whole idea of valentines. I called her to make sure she was home and she was. She answers the phone and sounded like she was outta breath. She said she'd been workin out and I told her she needed to do some sprints if she really wanted to tire herself out, and she returns with "well you need to not attach your conversations with another girl and expect me not to read it" and then she exploded on me for agreeing she was high maintenance and saying she was a little weird (thats all I said about her, no cussing, nothing else). So that fight was over with for the day and Im stuck with roses and chocolates that she wouldn't let me bring over. I know I've messed up and I deserve that, so I just did my best to apologize and let her cool down. I didn't call at all tuesday, I just thought it might of been best to give her some cool down time. Wednesday was her birthday, and I called to wish her a happy birthday and see if she wanted to go out to dinner. She picks up the phone and asks what I want, and I tell her happy birthday. Well she gets mad because I didn't try and fix it the day before her birthday, and she gets off the phone with me promptly. And yes, I messed up again, I just thought some time to cool off might be best before trying to approach the situation again. Well over the weekend things seemed to improve, she actually started talking to me and we were joking and laughing almost like normal. Just yesterday, wednesday, she went to this job fair. I asked her how it went and she tells me she got a job......in Daytona beach, Florida. Well I'm happy for her but I'm also hurt because I don't want her to leave, she knows Im kind of upset and she says theres a 75% chance she wouldn't take it. So I get off the phone with her to think some. I called back later that night and I told her that even though it would hurt me I want her to have to the best opportunity and to take whatever job wherever it may be. Essentially I just dont want her to miss a good opportunity because of me. Well, this makes her mad and she says "well I'm glad I have your permission to go" when I really didnt mean to make it sound like that at all. Then this huge fight broke out again and everything reverted back to the way it was last week with her bringing stuff up since new years onward. And this fight goes on for about 2 hours of going back and forth with nasty comments flying everywhere. Now mind you, I know I'm not perfect, I have good intentions and I don't want to hurt her. I love her still and I don't want us to fight over this, but I don't know how to get accross to her that I do care about her. She just keeps bringing up things from last week and telling me I have a poor way of showing it. I tell her and tell her I'm sorry for everything and I do care but she still keeps giving these scathing remarks to everything I say. What should I do? Its like it goes in one ear and out the other and shes only hearing what she wants. Is there any way I can come back from this and redeem myself? What can I do? Please give me some advice, thanks guys

Hey all, me and my girlfriend had been dating a little over 1 year and a half. Both of us are in college, and in our senior years. Well, this semester she has had to put a lot more time and work into her studies than I have. We had been arguing a lot because I *maybe* got to see her once every 2 or 3 weeks, which I really thought was rediculous since she lives 15 minutes away. So I felt like she never wanted to spend time with me because of how little we had been seeing each other. About 2 weeks ago we got to talking and she suggested splitting up to see how we really felt about each other. I agreed to it. It didn't really hit me till a day or so later when I wanted to tell her about something that happened and I couldn't bring myself to call her. As the week progressed my thoughts and feelings changed about what I wanted and if I was being selfish and not being understanding in the relationship. I thought about it a lot and I felt as though I had done a lot of wrong in pestering her so much and a lot of the arguing could have been prevented. So I broke down at the end of the week and I wrote her a really long email telling her everything I felt. She called later that night and told me that it made her cry. I asked her what she thought of it all and she seemed to get uncomfortable and said "I dont know". Id gotten really sick with some kinda cold so I told her I was goin to the doctors the next day. She wanted me to call her and let her know what he said but she ended up callin me before I could get a chance. So we talked for a bit and she told me to call when I was feeling better. I called her tonight and she said she was busy cookin with her family and she would call back if she could but if she didnt talk to me then to have a good thanksgiving. Well, she never called back but I'm just wondering when and if I should call. I really miss her even though I couldn't see her all that much....and I'd like her back in my life, is there hope and what should I do? Thanks guys

She did make some specific note about me being insecure and that I was "needy". I need to work on that asap.

Hey guys, Im new to the site and it looks like everyone gives a lot of good advice so I need some of my own. I've been dating this girl for about 9 months now, and its been great up until this past month. We had a fight at the beginning of the month because she was moving and I needed to study for my finals which happened to fall within the same days. Anyway she got really mad and accused me of not being there for her. She got over it though....it just took her a few days and we talked about it but she was still sore over it. Now, this last weekend, everything has just gone ballistic. I got invited to go to a rehearsal dinner earlier in the week but when the time came to go, she told me that I'd be the only one there not related to the wedding, but I came anyway. I got there and she was busy with all the other bridesmaids and everyone else but she and I had very few words. I just kind of sat there for a while with no one to talk to about anything. I told her I was leaving and she didnt seem to care whether I was there or not. The next day I was suppose to make 2 weddings, my friend Jeb's and her friend Nikki's where she was a bridesmaid. I called her up early that morning and she said just to go to Jeb's wedding because I just seemed really uncomfortable and it would probably just be that way for me that night. So I said alright but I was kind of hurt because I was looking forward to being there with her. I called her back and said I wanted to go and we fussed back and forth for a while because she said I wasn't making up my mind. We finally agreed so that I would just come to the reception because she thought I couldnt make the wedding in time. I went to my friend Jeb's wedding, then proceeded to her friend's reception. I show up and sit with her parents and talk. She hardly says a word to me and doesn't even make eye contact when she looks at me. I tried to get her alone so I could apologize about everything that morning, but she didnt even let me have the chance and just said "You can go home if you want, I am not going to fight with you here" in a real mean tone and turned her back to me. All of this in front of her parents by the way, and so I told her mom I thought it was best if I left. So I did..and she followed me outside and just yells "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" and went on about how every time something important happens for her I disappear (used her moving and this wedding as an example). Then she just told me to go home... So now, she wont tell me she loves me, and when I ask her why, she says " I think we need to take some time to see how much we appreciate each other". She said she didnt know if we were working, how if we ever really got along because I was good at damage control, a lot of mean things. I can't help but ask when she calls if were gonna break up, andshe says shes sick of me asking that and its making her feel like thats her only option, she said she just wants to have a normal conversation (nothing about our relationship) and she just wants to have fun. That was 2 days ago.....and we havnt talked since..... So now, I'm hurt, I'm confused, and I can't tell what I've done wrong and I don't know how to fix it. Things had always been fine before this, and thats how I'd like them to be again. I don't want to lose her over something so petty such as not being able to resolve an argument. I have read up on some other peoples posts around the web and a lot of problems are miscommunication. I've tried to talk to my friends about this and they just say ditch her or you aren't for each other. I really don't want to give up on this relationship if theres a chance something can be done. Anyone have any suggestions or know of something similar thats happened? I'm just giving her time and space right now but I don't know what else I can do if anything...