Gio83

Hi, i have already posted twice concerning my situation so instead of going through it all again il put up the links to them which are as follows, link removed and link removed Basically me and my gf have had a long term relationship for 18months, shes 20 and im 21 this year and we recently found out she is pregnant. We hadnt got on a few months back and we decided we would go away abroad on holiday to spend sum time alone away from our families and that. We are all booked up to go in a fortnight and now i cant think of it for worrying about the pregnancy. We have both told our parents and her family supported her from the start, i have told my mother and she went berserk with me, told me im wasting my life and career and that cant i see my gf is simply trapping me. Iv always been close 2 my family and always dependant on them till this day. I know i really love my girlfriend but i would hate find out down the line that my mother was right all along. I know she is just looking out for me and my gf knows my mothers thoughts and is furious. My family have never really liked her, but i believe she loves me but i know where my mum is coming from. Im too kind hearted and let people walk all over me. My girlfriend said i can be a part of the babys life or turn my back, but shes having it. My mum told me shes just winding me up to move (she wanted me to move in the past and nearly split because i said no) and that there will be no baby. I have no written evidence she is pregnant but if her family all know about it then why would she be making it up? I know that we had sex where it could have happened. My girlfriends still at me to go on this holiday but i cant even think of holidays abroad with all this on my shoulders. she thinks we need the time away to talk things through and her mother thinks the same. My mother said to cancel the holiday, which i said to my gf and she started pleading with me not to and all that. which my mum said she would do. I know i shouldnt be doubting anyone but my heads so messed up here and im all alone and dont know what decisions to make. What if i left to go live with her and then it cums up that she 'loses the baby'? but then again what if i turn my back and then i dont have a part in my babys life? I know this is selfish thinking on my part maybe but im so confused and i dont know what to believe no more. beginning to contemplate suicide to stop it all. Please could any good people out there tell me their views or help me in some way before i totally fall to pieces? I feel so ill and down and need help.

I really need help. I'm 21 this year and my girlfriend is 20. The only problem is that we met thought the Internet 18months ago and live 400 miles apart. I'm in Scotland and she lives in Wales. We see each other as much as we possibly can. She is my 1st love and the only person who has really ever shown me affection apart from my family. Iv just finished uni and live at home with my parents. I have always felt that they think my girlfriend isn't good enough for me. Most of my life I have struggled with my weight and never had many friends at school etc because of this (I lost 7stone last year through dieting and found that I can control my weigh so this has gave me a bit more self belief but still no close friends). I'm shy and insecure because I don't think much of myself and my girlfriend is everything to me even though we are so far apart. To date I cant really say that I have a best friend, I don't have one the only person really is my girlfriend. We met 18 months ago and I guess it was love at 1st sight. I know she's had relationships in the past and I found that hard because I hadn't but that isn't her fault, its mines. I accept it and as we were both single and have no kids etc then I don't see what the problem is with us liking each other. My family have always been everything to me really and I have always had them to depend on. We are very 'close knit' and I love my parents very much. My sister is 10 years older and lives accross the street with her boyfriend. Its like my parents have a magnetic pull as were always close to them. My sister was the rebel when she was 18 and left to do big things with her boyfriend at the time and ended up returning the 'prodigal daughter' sorta thing. I saw how hurt my mum was when she left, and my dad sort of disowned her for a period. Wouldn't even go visit her 10mins away because she had walked out on them. Now my sister is close by and they aren't happy with her bf staying with her but they don't make an issue of it because it's her own home. My girlfriend has always been at me to go stay with her in Wales, she's popular and has friends, and when I go to visit I find that people get on with me and are friendly towards me. My girlfriend knows I am no outgoing and encourages me to get involved with her friends and that. I find it a breath of fresh air to be accepted by people other than my family. I know my family wouldn't like me to move away, I saw what happened with my sister and I'm trying to keep everyone happy but its getting increasingly hard and its making me miserable. My family really love me and only want the best for me and I want to be a good son to them and always have their respect with anything I do in life. I love my mum and dad to bits and to be honest I depend on them because that's the way iv been brought up. They have always looked out for me. I know they don't think great of my girlfriend and don't think its right to judge people but then were always told 'mothers know best'… Me and my girlfriend have had a few rough patches because I have never committed to getting a place with her etc, its clear she wants us to be together and I don't think there has been a single night since started talking that we haven't spoken to each other. That's about 18months now. I really love my girlfriend and don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to her, we see each other as often as possible and its tough but knowing I can cuddle up with her makes it worth while in the end. She feels the same way as I do. After a rough patch we decided to book a holiday abroad next month, as it would give us some time alone away from everyone else and give us time to talk and that. I have never been abroad on holiday and found myself at 20 years of age sort of asking my parents permission to go on holiday. I just always feel the need to make sure they agree with what I do, I don't know why. My mum said it would be something to look forward to and to go ahead, my dad thinks holidays abroad are a waste of money but didn't say I shouldn't do it, so I booked my holiday and we are all set to go. I last saw my girlfriend 6 weeks ago and she phoned me the other day telling me she's pregnant, she did two tests which are positive. I knew she was a few weeks late with her period but didn't really expect this to happen. I was dumbstruck! She cried down the phone to me worrying that I would dump her but how can I dump the girl I love and why would I when she's carrying our child? I know this wasn't planned but ever since I was a child all I wanted to be was like my dad…a dad. I want to be a family man and do the right thing in life, to give my love and be loved, that's all I want. My girlfriend says she cant get rid of the baby because shed could live with it and what if something bad happened in the future which stopped her being able to be a mother. I see her view and admit I would feel bad too. I love my girlfriend so much and I love my family too for everything they have done for me, I don't want to be a person who is single all their life and sticks to their parents like glue, but I don't think they would mind that. But what about that sad day when they are no longer there, I need to have my family round me don't I? I don't want to be lonely all my life, but I will be if I don't stand on my own two feet. My girlfriend knows what I'm like and she's been so understanding. she said it would be great if we could get together and she thinks I have the making of being a wonderful father. I don't know how my family would handle the news of me going to be a dad, I think my mum would be angry but be happy in the end that she has a grandchild, and she doesn't have any. I don't think my sister can have kids anyway and my mum and dad are round about 60 years of age. My girlfriend's parents are the same age group but have grandchildren already. I don't know how my dad would react, I would be cut to pieces if me and my child were disowned by him because he's always told me to not get anyone into trouble and have to get married. He's old fashioned in that you shouldn't have children when you aren't married. I know that it's a view from his generation and just what he believes. But it would be his only grandchild! I never met my granddad as he died before I was born, but hear stories about him all the time off my dad and I wish I could have met him. I fear though that my father wouldn't forgive me and take less to do with me as a result. My girlfriend said that even if I did manage to go stay with her that she wouldn't mind me coming home when I need to and that she would have no issues with me doing that, even if I wanted to bring our baby home to be with their grandparents. I fear my parents will think my girlfriend has tried to trap me, she hasn't but they may think she has. I don't want people to think she's to blame, because we both are, it takes two to tango as they say and I am as responsible as she is. I really don't know what I am going to do, I'm so scared and alone because I can't talk to nobody but my girlfriend. I would be grateful of any help anyone could give me and I thank anybody who has read this post because I know it is so big. Thanks

Hi, i dont really have anyone to talk to so thought that maybe i could get advice from somebody who can understand the situation im in. I'v been seeing my gf for about 18months now and its been a long distance relationship (400miles apart). We have had good times and sum bad if im honest but we always pull through and i truly love her with all my heart. She is my 1st love and iv always dremt of being with her for good since the moment i met her. I am 21 this year and my gf is 20. We see each other the best we can and enjoy the time when we can meet up. I last saw her 6 weeks ago and she foned me this morning to tell me that she thinks shes pregnant. She did a test as soon as she woke in the morning and then did another at lunch time, both came up positive. Shes about 2 weeks late with her period but has always been a bit irregular given a week or two. I dont really know how i reacted to the news i was just dumbstruck when i heard her tell me she thinks im going to be a dad. I feel pertty bad in a sense that iv maybe taken her youth away from her by letting this happen. I understand were both equally responsible. The problem is the distance we are apart, shes always wanted me to move to be with her but im just the sorta person who is scared to take risks in life. Im very close to my family and still live with them(she lives with hers), and to be honest im absolutley petrified of wot tomorrow is going to bring. Iv felt like this before the news today but i dont want this to make things any worse for both of us. My parents are old fashioned in a sense that it isnt right to have a family when not married, my father especially. I think my gf's parents would react the same way but she told me that if its going to happen then people will come round and accept things through time. I wish i had her optimistic view. In one way i feel joy that she is very likely carrying my child, but im so scared of concequences. Are we too young to cope? Will our familys support us? i dont know! My gf started crying to me saying that she doesnt want to abort a child because its a living person. I see her point of view and havent made any comment about whether abortion would be right or wrong, im just dazed and confused. She said shes scared i walk away now because of this and to be honest i cant let that happen, if she is pregnant, its our baby and i have to take responsibility. Iv always been glad to have my mum and dad together and wouldnt want a child growing up without the support of their parents. Iv just finished university but im not sure if i want to find a career in what i did at uni, i guess i should find work ok as i did well at school and uni but i worry that if i have responsibilities that i may not be able to support people who may depend on me. It really scares me. My gf says i always have to plan things years in advance, always assessing the risks of life before it happens and not enjoying it. Just the sorta guy i am i guess. My gf has booked an appointment for the doctors in 2 days time, i guess more will be clear then but im still really scared and feel alone with nobody i can talk to about this. I really dont wana move away for good i would miss my family and i think my mum and dad would possibly go downhill without me around as im a big part of their life. I know i have to make my own life but im scared about how to do it, and now things have just got harder. Im not sure if my dad would disown me for getting my gf pregnant, he always goes on at me that everythings ok as long as i dont make a mistake like that. Im so confused, i feel like killing myself but i know it wouldnt resolve anything, i just want to make everyone in my life happy but i cant see a way of doing it. Really dont wana wake up some days because of the pressures. I would be greatful if anyone could maybe advise me, maybe somebody has experienced something similar, any comments would be apprecaited.