zpivat

A dove.....

When I'm cool and indifferent she gets close to me.....but when I get closer and show more interest, she backs off........ :S

Well if both are comfortable I think it should be ok......some people have "weird" preferences, je je.....I'm 22 and I'd only prefer to date those are as old as or at most 2 years older than me.....

When I was 19 I was with a 19 year old, and she left me for her 37 year old chemistry tutor (who didn't even return her feelings by the way).....

Well, one side of my family is French and we greet with a kiss to each cheek.

Yes.....! *******THAT'S******* exactly what I saw.....back in 2002 when the Pope came here to Toronto for the World Youth Day, we hosted some French youths, and I saw them doing that to each other, and even saw the guys do that to my sister without even knowing her to well....

And well, I saw that done in many other occasions too of course....

But yes, it's all about personal preferences!!

So, I love the opportunity to actually touch people. lol.

*******VERY******* cute statement.....!!!! I laughed so hard on this one....je je je ^_^.

because we share the same friendship group and i see him everyday because of this, and we were good friends before we went out so i don't see why that should have to end i guess.. i've always been successful with staying mates with exes so i guess i presumed it'd be easy...

Yes yes exactly.....I would NEVER end the friendship no matter how bad the relationship turned out.......

It saddens me to see how easily people throw the friendship away.....and how they went from saying "I love you" to "I hate you".....never happened to me.....but it's so sickening for me to see that

Well gw1470....if I were I'd just keep it light, polite, and friendly....don't really show him you NEED him...at least he's willing to talk now, and the fact that he said he was thinking of getting back with you is kind of a good sign I guess....don't pressure him for that, and just go with the flow....

I sincerely wish you all the best!

I wouldn't normally call a person a loser just because she has no car (especially her being that young), but she sure is a loser for cheating and especially LYING about it.....

Hmmmm.....so you tried to sneek 'em in there under the guise of friendliness. No wonder it made her uncomfortable.

I didn't sneak or anything though, because I thought it was a very normal thing to do as I have seen that done a lot.....

she even used to do it to me too....

and fyi we've gone on dates multiple times, and in the past we used to kiss (lips to lips) and hugs for hours.....

But I stopped it because I know she's still not over her past breakup......I decided to just give her some space.......not playing hard to get, but I respect her so much and would kiss again only if she is 100% ready.....

From now on I'll add some air for sure

Yes.......well I love the latin culture (and her too actually and want to make sure I cause no discomfort.

I have been to a variety of countries and have friends from a variety of countries and I have never witnessed the lip to lip kiss. Again I dont see any cultures that I have been to where lip-to-lip kissing is the norm for friends.

If you read my post once more, you'll see that I never wrote about lips to lips kissing

I was talking about lips to cheeks.....

So I guess my point is, just because she is from a Latin American culture where that is practiced, does not mean she particluarly cares for it.

BellaDonna

She does care for it.....but I mean, she suggests that cheeks to cheeks is the norm, as opposed to lips to cheeks.

I have a very close friend and she is Latin American. We've been close friends for so long, and whenever we greet, I gave her a kiss (with lips) on each cheek. Well funnily enough, we were discussing about this kissing issue. She told me that while she has no problem with it at all, she told me that she doesn't think it's normal between friends, and suggests that they only kiss cheek with cheek (and not lips with cheeks)

Well I immediately got embarrassed as I thought that it was a very normal thing to do in Latin America. Moreover, I have many, many, MANY European acquaintances (Italians, Spanish, French, Dutch, English, Germans, Greeks, etc), and I know 100% (and have seen) that they (especially towards the opposite sex) kiss their (close) friends when greeting, and very often lips to cheeks.

This is certainly embarrassing for me, and I swear I'd never use my lips anymore on her cheeks as I completely respect her (ALTHOUGH she doesn't mind, actually). I wonder if it was I who was unreasonable for doing that, or she's just somewhat too conservative.....

Opinions?

1. Never give up and never ever sever your relation with him. No matter how it turns out in the end, at least keep the friendship. I've seen SO MANY lost friendships because of this exact same thing (you know....bestfriends turn to lovers, lovers breakup, friendship lost....boah) it sickens me to death. To me, people who throw away the friendship over something like this isn't worth being together with in the first place. Sure it may be awkward at first, but seriously....as time goes by, it will be ok. Just make sure both of you have healed first, and then start again the friendship.

2. Don't cling and don't show how sad you are. Save all that for your pillow, but in front of him, show that you are mature and are willing to be patient and wait for him. Just be calm and pleasant, and you won't believe how well it'll work. Make sure you keep in touch, but do it "just right".....(i.e: not too often and not too seldom either)

3. The push and pull thing that happened....that's really evil, I know.....so break it! Instead of trying to push him to get back with you, just stand still and see what happens. I've been where you are and I know it's VERY hard not to push him to be with you.......but you know, unfortunately there's no other way to stop him from pulling, unless you stop pushing.

4. Be strong be strong......we're all with you......keep posting.

If I were him, I wouldn't not (not the double negatives) talk to you. Ok so it might've not work for you as a couple, but I think the (precious) friendship shouldn't be thrown away just like that....

Well that's just me.........I wouldn't distant myself just because of that......

May be you said "I love you" a little too fast?

If I were you, I think I'd just go ahead and date her casually, and try to get to know her better, until the relationship stars getting deeper and deeper and deeper, and then after may be 1 year of being a couple, I think it's safer to say "I love you" (well it depends though....you have to "see" how she is first...but you get the idea)

Well yes, only if I know they're genuine and give UNBIASED insights.

Read my thread at:

I am glad that you guys didn't break up. What you did wrecked his privacy, but I think he'd be so silly if he broke up just because of that..........it's not worth it, seriously.

Hoe gaat het met je? Well........NC is more precisely...."No Contact" ^_^.

It depends on the couple though....

I personally don't mind to be pursued by a woman.....

And I equally pursue anyway....

It's nice to be flexible!

Thank you so much for the comforting words Blue_Skittles and Kimi_Baby. It's true, many good relationships are rooted from very good a friendship. And that's how we two have been together....when she was going through hard times with her past lovers, it was I who was always there for her to cheer her up....

We support each other very much, pray for each other, and it's just....perfect.....she even calls my mum "my mami" (my mum....she's a Latina), and my heart more than welcomes her to be more than a friend....

If she's not interested in me romantically, then it's no problem, but I hope we'll be together in our next life....may be after reincarnation or something, but for right now I just want her to be fine and for us to be back to our happy and cute friendship, that's all....

You are truly dead on Kimi_Baby.....(they say women have good intuition, it's true afterall, lol), may be I should say to her if I miss her....and it's true, I don't say it because I don't want to sound clingy at all. But yeah, may be I need to be "less nice" by start confronting her about this.

I just want us to have a healthy connection, that's all. I care about myself, but at the same time her well being is very important to me.

And I'm pretty sure that if there's an issue, you guys say it out loud to your partner and not go all quiet and mysterious right? I think it's a very nice way to maintain a healthy relation. Well she's not a player though...far from it actually. It's just that she could be reserved at times, and may be shy too.......and she's also very cautious, and may be she's worried of offending me....

Oh well....hmmm

Well actually we talked about it in the past....but she was fine with it....and got even closer with me actually.

But you are right....I guess she is confused...

I'm giving her all the time she needs now; I don't mind. I'm not trying to rush at all, but at the same time it seems that I can't stop blaming myself for what happened....*sigh*

Reading monsieur's thread at really got me thinking. I've also always wondered why very often people show great interest at us, and later on they back off.

I'd like to know your honest opinions, and let me know if this is really my fault or not. You can be brutally honest and I promise I won't get hurt.

This girl and I have been extremely close friends for about 3 years, and as of last year we got real close, and we also shared some kisses and many wonderful hugs actually. Our 2005 summer was extremely beautiful. However, she and I both realised that she just got out of a really bad 6 year relationship, and so it's better to keep things slow as of now and not kiss until she is fully ready. I don't mind that at all, and I feel so happy that I have the ability to accommodate her needs and not act pushy/needy.

She would call me quite regularly, and whenever we speak, we always speak about fun things, discuss about our lives, etc etc. I never do any relationship talks of course. I don't think I am clingy either. Gee, I only call her ONCE a week, about 20 minutes each time. On top of that, I never say "I miss you", or "I need you"....none of those "mushy" words.

We often talk on MSN, but that's mostly about our daily activities, or we help each other with homework, etc. She just got a new mobile and she's happy for that because now it's easier for her in case she needs to make a call, and according to her "now I can call you more often."

Whenever I come online to MSN, usually she'd come online too like 5 seconds to 30 seconds later, meaning that obviously she just stays in offline mode and wait till I come online.

But guess what....a while ago, I was just curious about us. I was wondering where "us" was, so I (relaxly) asked her if she thought we'd end up being an official couple someday. She said she hadn't thought about that as of now as she's extremely busy with her life (going to school + working full time) and she'll just go with the flow, while maintaining our beautiful friendship.

Well obviously that's not what I wanted to hear, because right now I'm ready to be hers. However I didn't feel devastated at all, and was completely fine with that. After which, I never brought the subject again, never chased her, never bugged her about it, because I really AM fine with that. I'm very patient and will be willing to wait until she is completely ready.

Strangely enough....I've been noticing that since I asked that question, she's been rather distant towards me. She would not go online for days, a bit silent towards me, etc etc. I miss her with all my heart, but I don't want to tell her anything about this. I keep the sadness in my heart, and right now I'm just giving her some space to try and see if she'd get back to me......while wondering if I offended/upset her by asking that question.

I mean, is it my fault to feel that she AT LEAST has SOME interest in me, after all those "hints" that she showed me? Or may be I am just so stupid for thinking that she's remotely interested in me?

For God's sake, I only asked that question out of curiosity....I don't think I've pushed her in any ways, in any forms, so I am completely wondering what I did wrong.....

So if you see something wrong with me, then by all means let me know, and feel free to criticise me. I'd welcome any suggestions, as I'm trying my best to make our friendship work!

I'm so happy to hear about your story scarew, glad that things worked out!!

Don't sleep together before marriage.....well that's just me. Everything's up to you two of course.

Again, all the best luck to you two! This is beautiful!

Things seem to be going very well between the two of you. Make sure you two relax and don't rush things. Get to know each other better and spend quality times together. Don't get way too physical as of yet; afterall everything is still so new.

Good luck and I wish you two happiness!

 

Would the point where you find yourself asking for more be a sign that you're falling in love? You don't just love that person, but you're actually now in love with them? Does that mean you've grown selfish?

When does it happen?

I don't think it means you've grown selfish. If that happens then it means that it happens.........

And by the way many great relationships are based on a great friendship, so why not? If it is meant to be, I think such a thing is very beautiful