hollyrenee

Been there. I was in a long, long, LONG distance relationship.... 3 years now. I lived in California, he in Connecticut. We talked on the phone every single night, and visited each other every 8 months or so. Finally we decided it was time to take the next step, or quit wasting time and end it all together. Since he is NOT going to be moving to your city (it sounds like he has ties to it... house? family? job? etc) YOU need to decide... is it worth it to you? Move and be with this guy or end it all? Weigh the pros and cons. Worst comes to worst, you can always move back home if it's not working out. Fortunately for me, 7 months AFTER the move accross the country, things are going well. Yes, I have no money. Yes, I need a new car but can't afford it. But considering my alternative was to end this wonderful, loving relationship i was in, it's worth it. A little word of warning: IT IS NOT EASY. The first three months are EXTREMELY HARD. I spent every night in tears because i missed home so much. I guess for you, you just need to think about it... weigh your alternatives. Like I said, worst comes to worst, you can always move home. Life is too short! Live it up now Good luck!

It hasn't always been this bad... just the past six months or so.

we've been together three years. we've had this issue for about eight months... I've discussed it with him before... in, of course, a nonjudgemental way. i don't want him to stop looking at porn... especially not if he enjoys it, and even more especially since ive known hes enjoyed it since before we were together. he was sold as is my big problem is that it's porn over me. i feel like i'm competing with it... and a lot of the time i really am... this tears me up inside... the few times i have talked to him about it ive said something like "look at all this porn! youre a busy guy!" always in a fun manner... but then ill ask, "well i was home when you looked at this one... i was probably watching tv" and then ill ask, "why didn't you come to me if you wanted some? are you still attracted to me?" and he'll always laugh it off, say something like "you know I love you, it's not about how you look, blah blah... " ive never gotten a straight answer.

oh man im glad i'm not in your situation! you don't deserve to be treated like that, bottom line. I wonder if the reason he had the comment about people looking through his stuff was because he knew he could get caught. tell him. he screwed up, it's not your fault, you deserve to know what's going on. if he didn't want to get caught, he shouldn't have dont it in the first place... good luck to you.

I'm terribly sorry if this is TMI for a lot of people, but its something that's been on my mind for a long time, and I need to know if I should just let it go or not. My boyfriend has a lot of porn on his computer. I HATE this. I know almost every guy in the universe has porn on thier computer, but this is a lot. And it's not just that that bothers me, but he looks at it a lot. If you check the properties on any particular movie/picture/whatever, you can see when it was last accessed. He accesses them often. He downloads new stuff often. I guess his computer is his business, and if I didn't want to know what he did in his spare time I should just leave it alone. It's not like he snoops around on my computer. I was just looking through his stuff a couple minutes ago (I check his explorer history a lot too), and I saw he downloaded a bunch of stuff just last night. He was looking at a whole bunch of stuff online last night. I was home all day yesterday! I WAS HOME! I was right there! He could have a naked girl WHENEVER HE WANTS... but he has to look at porn all the time. We only... connsumate our relationship... maybe twice a week. And thats when I beg and plead for it. He knows I'll take it whenever, wherever he wants, but he NEVER wants it. Why does he look at all this porn then? He's the only guy I know that could get some whenever he wanted, but opts for internet porn instead. I ask him all the time if it's me or not, he says no everytime, but I see no evidence supporting this. I'm on the pill, too, and I've started wondering recently why I even take it. So it's not like its "uncomfortable" for him or anything. I even counted last month. SIX TIMES. HE LIVES WITH ME! WE SPEND EVERY NIGHT TOGETHER SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED! Six times in one month! Am I really that unattractive? *Argh*. This is so hard for me...