terry210

Didn't want to have my number of post's at 1 3. So I thought that I'd get a quick reply in. So in conclusion - What a girl wants (In a B/F anyway). Is confidence, somebody with a bit of an atitude who wouldn't be too bothered if you ended it - and would probably move on to the next girl, Because this would prove to be a bit of a challenge. Someone who Begs, Pleads and cries shows weakness and insecurities - right or wrong? and this is perhaps a turn-off. So my question is - Can that weak, insecure person change into the confident person and if they did - would it be tempting to go back - if they proved that they could walk the walk. Basically I am trying to see this from a womans point of view.

Thanx every one, These are exactly the replies that I was looking for. I believe that people are atracted to opposites (a bit like a magnet) I wasn't a 'bad-boy' but the reason she split with me was because I didn't give enough affection, Wouldn't show commitment (she wanted to marry me for over 2 years - and she thought that it would never happen), and just generally I lost interest. She is now with a guy who she tells me that she has so much in common with, and she says that they have exactly the same type of personality, and she really likes him - everything going well. So why did she end up in my bed a few days ago?. Also all the advice on here tells the dumpee to remain aloof and distant. - If women liked the nice boys then wouldn't the advice be - Tell her how you feel, write poetry and spend your money on gifts? Just a thought.

Are there any girls out there who had boyfriends that treated them bad (not abusive - but more unaffectionate and/or uncaring, or uncommitted) and still want them back? I just wanted to see if I could find a pattern emerge, Because it seem's that the nice guys are the ones that get dumped and hurt, and it's the 'not-so-nice guys' that are the heartbreakers.

Quick update she has text me asking to meet me this week (first time since we split) Is this good news or bad news? should I accept and tell her then? I'm so confused.

I'm going to meet her for the final time in the week. She has asked to meet me and then backed out of it, but she is still texting me and calling me honey and babe (Iknow that this isn't unusual - but it is for her) I just wanted some more opinions please just an A, B, C, or D will do. advice would be better.

Thanks for the reply tere, But if I do the No Contact thing then it will be the same as ignoring her, and with minimal contact it will still be dragging this whole thing on and on. I want to be either with her (preferably) or without her (and move on)- but it will be her decision. I can't go through another 2 months of security tennis. Do you think that I should play a little longer? because I feel that sooner or later we will end up hating each other and I don't want her telling me that she has met the man of her dreams. I am at the point where I wont answer the phone when she rings because I am scared of what she will tell me. I need to find out her feelings - no games.

A few ideas that I had were........ a) take her to an expensive restaurant (the whole flowers etc) and tell her that i love her and that I can't be friends whilst I am loving someone who doesn't love me and that my feelings are too strong. - But this could make me seem weak and needy, and she may run away (She did when I told her this when we first split) b) Meet her in a bar and tell her that I now realise that we wasn't meant to be, and that I don't love her any more so theres no point in being friends. - Kind of dumping her back - after she dumped me - this made me realise my feelings for her. c) Call her and tell her that i don't think that it would work out being friends with her because my new girlfriend isn't happy about my ex calling me every day and if we are in relationships then it's not fair to us or our new relationships. - kind of passing the blame onto someone else. d) ignore her and hope that she will stop calling and take the hint - abit rude. e) give her an ultimatum such as 24 hours to make a decision to come back to me or never see me again. or f) any other suggestions? I want to have the maximum impact to shock her and make her think. - If she doesn't come back then at least I know that I can move on and try to forget about her.

I have now been "friends" with my ex for 2 months (she dumped me after 4 years) We agreed to be friends but it is hurting me too much and sooner or later I think that she will find someone special and will forget all about me. At the moment I still feel there is something between us and she has even admitted this, So I feel it is now a good time to "nip it in the bud" The question that I am asking is "How do I do this" and which way would give me the best outlook from a psychological point of view? ie Make her feel that she has lost me and maybe find some feelings or start really doubting her decision, Because thats what happened to me. When she finished with me it felt like a kick in the nuts from an elephant. I didn't realise my feelings were so strong for her and it knocked me to my senses - I want to make her feel the same way and to feel that she has lost someone special, and to make her think about me - which she doesn't do when she knows that I am hanging on for friendship. At the moment she calls every day even though I have only responded twice in three weeks, "trying a treat her mean to keep her keen" strategy - and it's working because she never even contacted me this much when we was going out. I know that this is a gamble but I think that it's worth the risk - for my own sanity.

Does playing mind-games work with an ex? Because sometimes I feel that my ex is playing mind-games with me. Also has anybody actually purchased any of those 'Get back with your ex - guaranteed' books? If so do they work? And what kind of advice do they give?

Just wondered what stages the dumper goes through when no Contact is applied. ie: Shock, Confusion? intrigue? relief? etc.

I thought that I was finally getting on with my own life, I have met a girl who I like and I know that my ex has met someone else as well (she says that she likes him but is a little unsure though?). She contacted me to tell me that she may be pregnant and thinks that it is mine. I asked her to meet me and we spoke. She told me that she didn't want the baby and was still confused about me. I told her that I would like to give it another go with her (I didn't beg or plead) but I told her that I still love her and was sorry for the things that I had done to mess up the relationship. Now I find myself contacting her alot (mainly to find out if she is actually pregnant). I don't know what to do and I can't not contact her because she will probably have a termination without telling me. Help I need advice. I still want her back, but she seems more distant than ever.

What would be the best way of telling your ex that you think that no-contact with them may be the best idea, (even though you want them back desperately!!). How can I tell her this without her just forgetting me? Or would it be a better idea to keep casual contact (ie just short replies to her). She wants to stay friends, but it is killing me everytime I hear about her weekends and who she's with.

Thanks for the reply, I know that she does enjoy being single at the moment but alot of guy's are interested in her and it wont take too long before a relationship develops, In the mean time all I can do is just get on with my own life, but still be that 'shoulder to cry on' and friend to talk to. I want her back but can only really be patient and hope.

I suppose my situation is very similar to many others. To keep it short I was with a girl for over 4 years – she wanted commitment from me. I was going through a bad patch and kept putting it off and she thought that I wasn't interested, we started to argue about stupid things and she told me that the relation-ship wasn't going anywhere. We broke up about 2 months ago. I did the usual begging and pleading and this just ended up pushing her away even further, I met up with her shortly after and ended up sleeping together, but the next day she got upset saying that she was confused. I tried no-contact and she e-mailed me about 5 days later, since then we have kept in contact e-mailing each other and meeting as friends. She is starting to open up to me but is telling me that she is always out with her friends and meeting new guys. She tells me that she likes some of them, she still has feelings for me but enjoy's the single life. I don't want to have no-contact because I feel that I will lose her forever (as she will just pretend that I am dead or something). At the moment she contacts me a lot, but talks to me as a friend (asking me for opinions etc). I really want her back and am being extra nice to her at the moment. I don't know what would be the best way to get her back and does being her friend have an advantage?. Also isn't it going to be a bit strange to have no contact after speaking as friends for the past month or so?