Confused about deciding - Need help

Hi.. Am 25 years old and i got acquaited with my colleague who is a married guy unsuccessful in his marriage. It started as friendship and he disclosed all his issues with his marriage and that they decided to go for a divorce. We shared our personal thots and got much closer .We eventually fell in love .We always had the feeling that we were made for each other.We decided to get married once he is divorced.Pls note that he had made many attempts earlier to persuade his wife to give up the thogh t of divorce.But she was the one who is desperate about this divorce as she was no longer interested in this family life.Only after which i decided to go for him.As a matter of fact i took the risk to face all kind of oppositions from my family to marry a divorcee.Meanwhile we had slight misunderstanding as i started developing a feeling that he was not as mad on me as he was. But probably i was making a issue of nothing. Later when they discussed about their divorce with his wife's parents ,her mom got an attack and she needs to undergo a bypass surgery.And her father too fell sick.On top of it his wife is preganant and due next month.She is going through a very bad phase and he is also in a fix.His wife is too good only that their marriage did nt work.

I desperately love him.I am worried if i have taken a wise decision.We planned to get married by Jan if they get divorced before that.But all these complexities would delay that. But my parents want me to get married sooner.I somehow managed for a 6 mths time .Not sure if all these will come to an end before that . Am worried about his wifes delivery and also his MIL's health.He is also very disturbed. Offlate i also feel rejected by him. I feel he is not responding to me properly due to his family and work pressure.But am sure he likes me and he was very happy about me .I am sure that there is nothing that he dislikes in me.

I am not sure how to react in this situation. On a humanity side should i give up his relation for the sake of few lives in his family. I know time is the answer.But by the time we get this answered i will reach the peak of frustration. we hardly could meet each other to even discuss about what can be done next. I can make up my mind definitely to get away from him only on the aspect that he would be happy with his wife if i am out.But thats not the case.Please advise. I dont want to hurt anyone involved in this.I also dont want to talk to him about my rejected feeling in this situation where he is already in a mess. How can i comfort him to make him feel better and me too.Please advise. Thanks

He's married and about to have a baby. Drop him, you should not be involved with a married man in the first place anyways. No matter how much you think you love him, he is untouchable right now. Sounds like a lot of stress and you should remove yourself from this situation. You are complicating things for him and his family, especially his wife.

Think about it, would you like your husband to leave you when you are about to give birth to his child? I don't think so. Take the higher road and save some of your self respect...you don't need to put yourself through all this heart ache.

He wont divorce her.

Why would he? He isnt happy with his marriage, but he has you on the side, what else does he really need. He gets out of one marriage and jumps into a another, nope, life doesnt work that way.

THis guys sounds like a real winner. Getting his jollies while his wife is pregnant with HIS baby. I would definitely marry a man with such character and morals. Do you see through this, have you attempted to enter our circle, the circle that sees how wrong this is.

Do you want to be with a man that would leave his pregnant wife, destroy his family and commit adultery? He did it to his first wife, he will do it to you. Why did he come after you, because things were getting difficult with his marriage. What happens when your marriage becomes a bit rocky. When the honeymoon ends?

Think with your head not with your heart.

Ok i understand what you think when i say i love a married man. To make the understanding clear , it was his wife who was desperate about the divorce though he insisted that he would work out things to make this marriage better. They had plans for divorce for the past 1 year and only after all these i was in scene.He had made all possible attempts to persuade her to avoid this divorce. I am not sure if you guys got that he is dovorcing her just for my sake. Thats no. They have been married for the past 3 years and it worked rocky from their honeymoon.They planned for a child just because she needs a change. That was a planned venture .I trust him by all means. But i am really finding it hard to come out of this.

hey cathy,

who are you getting these stories from? him or his wife? how do you know they are the God's honest truth? i think you should talk to his wife. find out how much she really wants this divorce. or does she not know about you?

lisa

Hi Lisa.. Though i hear all these news from him ..I know thats the truth. Also i know her too i ve seen their behaviour together too when i visit their house when we were friends. All the more i ve been hearing about this even before we fell in love. When we were just friends and we never had the slightest thoughts about this.Also as a matter of fact am not a girl who easliy fall for guys .i had seen so many guys who were behind me and i never had a crush for one though they were eligible bachelors and note that am 25 now. For the first time in my life i felt the meaning of love.I am trying hard to think of the scenario to sacrifice my love for the sake of her parents. If not now they will be divorced soon as they cannot put along any longer.But will i be there for him is the question. And i cant imagine my life with any one else . I dont want to spoil one more innocents life too. Is this sacrifice worth it?Am going through a lot.I need some concrete advise. He sincerely wants to marry me .But he cant due to his family issues. Thats the scenario asof today.