SweetypieEnlightenedOne Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I have a question for both men and women on this lovely forum. First off, I am not saying that looking is only something that men do...but us women know that when we look we do it slightly different then men. Men look like they want to take home what they see. When Women look, we are merely trying to see if we 1. Know the person 2. If she's prettier then us. 3. If it's a cute guy...they just glance...but no more then that. I have a problem though. It seems like men not only look but they give off this type of look like "Yummy" If she wasn't around I'd like to ..... Please respond to this! 8) Link to comment
Adulthood_Not_Quite_Ready Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Hey there! I just wanted to say that I know exactly what you mean. Everything that you said is so true, even though it might not go for every guy or might be opposite with some females. I always wonder why men are like this, but I still cannot come up with an answer. It's got me baffled. Tashley Jade Link to comment
fenstrt Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 not alllll men do that, I don't. Usually I look and will say something piggish to my partner, usually as a joke. The reality of it is, when I see someone else, if I'm with someone, they're just a person. I might find them attractive, but I choose to be with my partner. In an actual answer to your question, I think it probably goes back to when we lived in tribes. no seriously... think about it, the good of the tribe was for the male to procreate with every female, to boost the population. so I think that maybe it's just a throwback to the cavemen Link to comment
Adulthood_Not_Quite_Ready Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Maybe you're right. Maybe it does go back to when there were tribes or w/e, but you know men always have an excuse. They always think that just because they are men, that that is an excuse. Of course, I don't think that every male is like that. Thank goodness, huh? But, I bet I wouldn't like it if I was someone's partner and they made piggish comments about someone else, even if it was only for a laugh. That is just me, but oh well. Tashley Jade Link to comment
fenstrt Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 yeah, she hated it, but I think that I knew it, and I quit doing it Link to comment
Adulthood_Not_Quite_Ready Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 WEll, I guess it is a good thing that you quit then, esp. if you love her. You know? The thing is, I mean maybe you find ppl attractive, but if you love someone and are fulfilled by them,then why do you feel the need to check out other girls? You know what I mean? And when I asked that question, I mean not you but men or ppl in general. Tashley Jade Link to comment
reinvented21 Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Hey sweetypie. I'll keep my answer nice and sweet. I think its not inherintly a guy problem. I think its a respect problem. I"m a guy. If i'm dating someone i wouldnt look at other women because i wouldnt want the girl i'm with to look at other guys. Its a matter of respect in the relationship. Peace out cubscout. Link to comment
fenstrt Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 men, women, and everyone look at other people, because the other person is there. how they look, all depends on how much the person truly cares about the person he/she is with. most guys leer at another girl because guys are inheriently pigs, they have little respect for women in general. That's why I hate most guys. they objectify women, and it makes me want to knock them out sometimes. gotta be better than them though. Link to comment
SweetypieEnlightenedOne Posted July 23, 2003 Author Share Posted July 23, 2003 You guys are so cool. I am sitting next to my boyfriend and read him the replys and he said that he doesnt look at just women or gawk at other women...he says he notices movement and looks at both menand women. He said if your gawking its disrespectful..but not if you just glance.... Maybe if i'm glancing at his best friends hiney....wonder what he'll say then....HEY I"M NOT GAWKING RIGHT GUYS???? Link to comment
Adulthood_Not_Quite_Ready Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Hey Sweetypie- I think you got a point there! You're not gawking, only glancing at his hiney. No harm in that, right? LOL! And to Fenstrt- I'm glad that you just don't go with the flow. Tashley Jade SAy what you mean and mean what you say. Link to comment
raggamuffin Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I think men do it because we let them get away with it. I dont personally have a problem with it if its subtle and discrete. My ex and I used to tell eachother the people we thought were hot and who we were perving on. Make fun and something you can do together!! Link to comment
SweetypieEnlightenedOne Posted July 23, 2003 Author Share Posted July 23, 2003 raggamuffin,,, that's funny Sometimes when I want to see my boyfriend get bright red...i'll go "WOW SHE'S HOT! and he'll go "Who?" I didn't see her...I just crack up. Your right if you do it together it takes there fun out of it...and they usually stop doing it for a little while...that is... Link to comment
Adulthood_Not_Quite_Ready Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Yeah, I guess whatever floats your boat. IF you wanna share with someone you are dating who you are perving on. I think that is the word you used. What a gross word anyways. I mean, maybe it is healthy for some ppl to have it out in the open who they are attracted to or w/e, but aren't you in a relationship, concentrated on two ppl? Why spend that time "perving" on other ppl when you have eachother? My point of view, that's all. Tashley Jade Link to comment
tkdmask Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I agree with you sweetie pie, but yet i disagree with some points. I am a man, young, athletic, tan, very good looking, i have women check me out daily. Because i have a problem with shyness which i dont know how to get rid of, i just walk past them. I dont say hi or anything. Sometimes THE WOMEN say, "ooooo, he's hot... mmmmm" that makes me blush so bad. I walk past them. I think that it happens on both sides. Men look at women (some) and women look at men (some). Lets keep in mind that opposites attract . If i had a girlfriend and a beutiful girl walked by, i would not think anything of it. I commited to a doll, and i will not break our trust. We love each other and have nothing to say but good to one another. For all you men out there, there are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. heheh, think about that for a minutue Link to comment
netman Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 I know that the original post was directed towards men, but I'm having a similar issue with my g/f. Everytime my g/f and I are sitting down in a restaurant or in the train or where ever, she has a tendency to look at EVERY one passing by. Even when we're in the middle of conversation she'll turn her head to look at the guys, girls, children, etc and it drives me nuts!!! To me it's not a jealousy thing, but a respect thing, but she takes it that I'm complaining because I think that she's checking out the other guys which is not the case. When I'm sitting with my g/f somewhere, I focus on her and our conversation, not what's around us. I talked to her about it and she says that she's not doing anything wrong and that she's always been like that, but I can't stand it!! I've NEVER been with someone who does this. Even my male friends don't look at everything around us when we conversate. Am I going overboard with this? Link to comment
fenstrt Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Am I going overboard with this? IMO yeah you are a little. I know it can be annoying to not have someone's undivided attention, but it shouldn't make you feel like you can't stand her. maybe she has ADD, and that's not joke. If she tends to space off, and start noticing movement, that doesn't necessarily mean she's not paying attention to you, she's just watching the scenery. I do that a lot. Link to comment
Cinnamon Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 It's just LOOKING! It's harmless! Link to comment
netman Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Nope, she doesn't have ADD. I think everyone has the instict to look when there's movement, but IMO when you're talking to someone (g/f, friend, brother, anyone) that should be curbed or at least an attempt should be made. Wouldn't you find that rude when you're talking to someone, and that person starts spacing out looking at everyting around as if you're not even sitting there? That's how I feel each and everytime. Link to comment
SweetypieEnlightenedOne Posted July 28, 2003 Author Share Posted July 28, 2003 Actually, Since I have ADD i can first hand tellyou that both of you are right. If she has what I have, then it is extremely hard to concentrate on just one thing. And if its kids, men, dogs, flies, and more....then she could either be bored with the conversaiton, have ADD, may want to discuss something she is feeling and your talking so much, never let her get a word in edge wise....ya know. It could be so many things. Men and women are so different...ya know... Link to comment
bunny Posted August 1, 2003 Share Posted August 1, 2003 I went to the sarstock concert in toronto with my botfriend. There were a lot of girls flashing boobs (to be expected) the first crowd we saw doing this he stopped to watch. I was fearious and walked off. To have glanced would have been fine with me but when he stopped to watch I couldn't deal with it and I don't believe I should have to tollarate such behaviour. I find his actions offencive and disrespectful. He says it's ok because she was a spectacle and I over reacted. Had it been a man being a spectacle he would not have stopped, yet he says he wouldn't care if I did. But I wouldn't out of respect for him. PLEASE HELP DID I OVER REACT? WHAT MIGHT BE A BETTER WAY TO HANDLE THE SITUATION? Link to comment
John4887 Posted August 6, 2003 Share Posted August 6, 2003 For me, being a guy, I know exactly what you're referring to. I look at other women, even more so since I've separated from my wife. For me, however, it's mainly the missing of the female companionship thing that eats me. Although my wife and I stopped talking intimately, I still miss the other talk we used to do. Now, there's times when I'll look at women and want to bed them. I admit that. I think it's the "animal" in men or maybe it's just human instincts. We are all hunters, and when it comes to women, we look, stare, and even sniff the air for females. It's just a natural reaction. Be proud if a man looks at you, but there's ways to do that without making the lady feel uncomfortable. I don't whistle or make lewd gestures. I smile and sometimes even wave. Women wave back. Others get the wrong signal and sometimes flip me the bird! Link to comment
doorik Posted August 6, 2003 Share Posted August 6, 2003 can't help it..... genetic.... tell him to wear sunglasses..... Link to comment
puffdaddycurl Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 now you have one part right on men but that part is not for all men( the part when you say if you would take them home) not all men do that but yes every man does but its not like thats all we think about girls. we arnt that perverted or nothin. Link to comment
John4887 Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 Men can be such animals.....but women LOVE that, secretly they do!!! Come on ladies!! Admit it!!!!!! Link to comment
tarant8l Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 It is a territorial question, a matter of controlling the territory, which extends as far as personal power. Men who don't look are either too high or too low in the hierarchy. Link to comment
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