dealing with being an HSP -Highly Sensitive Person

I am interested if there is anyone here who read Elaine N. Aron's book on HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), and recognized him/herself.

HSP's are highly receptive for all stimuli around them (sounds, images, light, emotions, anything), and also absorb stimuli deeper than average and thereforeeeeee feel easily overwhelmed by the world.

I seem to be one, and was glad to read the book and see I am not just a weak person because I need lots of quiet time alone and can't stand crowds of people, loud noises, super-fast action movies or anything else that other's enjoy because of the big sensation it gives them.

Is there anyone here who recognizes him/herself in the description of HSP as well? How are you dealing with it and how do you deal with the fact that your friends just don't understand you don't like to go to busy parties all the time? (for instance)

you may also e-mail or pm me if you like. Thanks for your reaction!

Yes and no. I don't like going to a lot of parties, but it may be for a different reason. I have a mild social disorder, and It's hard to be around a bunch of people that I don't know. The reason this is strange for me is, I've been the singer in a popular band for about 6 years. I have no problems performing in front of 2000 people, but I can't walk off stage and mingle in the crowd. What makes it worse is that everyone wants to talk to me, just to say things like "good show!" and stuff like that. The bad part is, I'm bad at public relations, and people think I'm just a quiet person. I'm not at all quiet (as many of you notice by my posts) . I just have a hard time talking to people I don't know.

I guess It's really not what you were looking for, but yes, you should know you're not alone. Not everyone needs the "fast lane" excitement in their lives. I personally hope to get over my problems, but I know I don't have to. There's really nothing wrong, I know I don't have to be like everyone else. You should know that there's nothing wrong with you and you don't need to change either. I'm doing it for myself, I think it would make my life more interesting...

There's really nothing wrong, I know I don't have to be like everyone else. You should know that there's nothing wrong with you and you don't need to change either. I'm doing it for myself, I think it would make my life more interesting...

Thanx for that reply, you're absolutely right, changing is not neccesary. I can see why you want to come over your slight social disorder (as you want it call it), because it makes life easier.

As for myself, I don't want to change my being Highly Sensitive, in fact I think it is a great trait! HSP's can be useful in the world because we are so 'aware'. If we learn to move through life in a way that prevents us to get overwhelmed and stressed out, all is fine.

But how do you do this, when all your friends want to do is go out party, having busy schedules and they look at you strangely when you say you enjoyed your free evening merely reading a book or doing yoga because the day has been so busy already? I accept and appreciate myself, only I wonder if the people around me do..

Don't dwell on it. You need to be happy for yourself, and no one else. If your friends harass you for being a hermit, find some hermit friends

Real good friends shouldn't judge you for things like that, so don't worry what they think. Essentially, if they don't like you, they can go somewhere else. If they don't accept you, look for friends that share common interests! If you like reading, go to a library and look for a guy or girl sitting around reading. At least you know they share your interests! Get into conversations about things you enjoy, and it might help you figure out that there are plenty of people that you'd get along with great!

Just don't give up on having friends, they come in pretty handy!

8)

The other thing you have to remember is that you seem to know yourself quite well and you seem like a confident person, as contrary as that seems to being a HSP!

You seem very easy to talk to, and like a very knowledgable person. Don't ever sell yourself short on that!

thanx for the posts secret agent Yes i suppose i am a confident person and am aware of my self, but only in the right circumstances; alone, quiet, etc. I shrink when around loud people that are my opposites, even if I find myself more attractive, intelligent, interesting than them.

Finding other 'hermits'.. lol Well I'm not a hermit, wouldn't mind being one though! The mountains of Switzerland.. Hm. No no I like meeting people and I like exploring and experiencing loads of things.

But that is why i put this topic here: I just never meet anyone like me. People who, like me, aknowledge their sensitiveness, appreciate that issue in themselves and others, but don't want to lock themselves out of the world. I'd love to have friends like that!

Where oh where art thou...

Hi Glassbell,

Don't know if you'll be back to read this post again, but I've read Elaine Aron's books (first one more than five years ago) and definitely fit the description of being an HSP. Originally, I was researching the link between "hypersensitivity" and giftedness, and accidentally came accross her first book-- which someone had left in the travel section at Border's, of all places. It helped explain a few things; although I've always been aware that I was an introvert, her explanations put a fix on my reactions to loud noises, bright lights, odors, chemicals, stress and the like. It also helped me not "pathologize" myself with some kind of anxiety disorder-- because essentially I WASN'T anxious or fearful-- I merely seemed to "get enough" much faster than other people around me.

My life has changed a lot since then-- but I won't take a up a lot of room with that here; but feel free to respond, or email me, or whatever.

--Peter