break up

I have lost the love of my life, my friend, my lover, and my best mate!

I was with my ex for 15 years! We met at College at the age of 17 and split in October 2001!

We have a 9 year old daughter and I get as much access as I want to see her and me and my ex are still very good friends!!!

The problem is that she doesn't want me back! We had some fantastic times together and got on so well, it was untrue. Then, the last 5 years it just seemed to be slipping a bit. I played a lot of sports and worked hard, so are time together was dwindling, along with our relationship.

If I cut to the chase, it got worse and worse and we eventually decided to split up. She had left on 2 other occasions, both times, she came back and wanted to chat and both times I welcomed her with open arms, and wed have a cry and be ok for a while.

This time, I want HER back and she doesn't want to know, although we get on so well, it is really hard to understand!

The, last week, after been split for 15 months, she went with a guy at a school reunion and it 'gutted' me. I felt sick, i couldn't eat for 2 days, it broke my heart!!!

She as always said its not about me, its her, she doesnt want another man, which is fair enough. But she is now seeing this guy next weekend, travelling half the country to stay over for 2 nights and its killing me!!!!

I have hinted at whether she would come back on many occasion and she just seems to get further away the more I hint. I have never actually said "please come home" though!

Sorry to go on, but I just want her backb and I dont know how i can do it. Im a very confident guy as a rule, very outgoing and outspoken and I still make her laugh a lot and we trust each other so much as friends, but she gives nothing away. She is a kinda closed book type of person anyway, so im struggling to find a way to get to her.

Anyway, I want her back so much and god alone knows what I can do!!! any suggestions

xo

Hurtslikehell

mate, i will give you my honest opinion and advice:

Firstly, i feel your relationship with her is well gone. Its over and is highly unlikely that it will return to the way it was.

She has moved on, she has accepted the relationship is over. She is telling you she doesnt want another man as she doesnt want to hurt you. MY ex done exactly the same to me.

She is going out with other men!! Man, you can do much better than that. You are still running after her, after she has done that? You are trying to grip onto anything about her. Dont go for the crumbles man, leave it.

I think you should try your best to accept its over and try to move on. If its too hard on your own, then see a counsellor or a local priest. They will help you through this toucgh time.

She has left now, for the thrid time. If you did get back, which is unlikely, you will be paranoid all the time thinking "When is she gonna leave again", "Who did she go out with when we split". Man it will be even worse than it is now. It simply aint worth it.

Heart Broken - Yes you are but it is a FACT that time heals a broken heart. Time is healing mine, i havent got over mine yet and it hurts but i will get through it. She left me three times as well and went with someone else and under no circumstances would i take her back yet im still hurting over the end of the relationship but like you, i will get through it and be better for it.

Wish you good luck.

Tony, 27, Ireland.

ya, cheers fella, yor probably right. does hurt tho, like I said. I think its the fact that someone else is gonna have my girl that hurts the most, not the fact that we have split, maybe anyway.

I hope i dint sound like a sad arse, cos, although you dont know me, trust me I arent, its probably the pride hurting, that I lost her, anyway, cheers for that fella, I think thats helped!!!

no probs for the advice - anytime mate.

I know how you are feeling. I was the same and still am a wee bit but its getting easier and easier. Another couple of weeks and i'll be a hell of a lot better but i'll get there.

I started thinking about her with another man and all these crappy thoughts. I was thinking about her doing all the things we used to do, going places where we went etc...

Then it struck me, wait a minute she is just gonna do the same thing to this fella as she done to me, just treat him like crap! She'll be the worst off in the end, believe me. It will hit her some day that she was a total b*tch, and that will hurt her so much. She'll realise the mistakes shes made and won't have many friends and by that time, who will be happy and smiling? YOU WILL.

As you much as you want to phone her, just dont do it. Im giving this advice as i did ring her a week later and it put me back to square one, i was worse than ever. Ringing her will make you worse.

Everything will work out for you in the end. Dont go looking for another girl as a substitute, just let time take its course and you will heal.

Good luck,

Tony, 27, Ireland.