tia1607306444 Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 i guess the title of this topic really sums it up. here's the problem, besides the obvious of course--- i have no way of confirming that he is in love with me, even though this is my husband's suspicion and the suspicion of my friends. this friend has become distant from me (we were good friends too) and won't even hang out with us when we go to the movies or kayaking or anyting like we used to... but how can i confront this question? i don't even think he'd tell me if i asked! and without knowing for sure what can i do to help the situation? even if i know for sure, what can i do? help! Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 If he is distant he probably is not interested in breaking up your supposed marriage with his friend. What do you expect him to do? Admit that he has inappropriate feelings for someone in a committed relationship? Use your best judgement and get over it yourself...you owe it to your husband to ignore any feelings that you have for other men...not to encourage them! Be Good! Link to comment
tia1607306444 Posted January 24, 2003 Author Share Posted January 24, 2003 its not that i'm in love with him- i just to be able to remain good friends with him-- Link to comment
axe03 Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 TIA, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO REMAIN GOOD FRIENDS WITH A GUY THAT IS IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT KNOWS HE CANT HAVE YOU??(OR CAN HE?)AND BY HAVING THE ATTITUDE THAT YOU HAVE ABOUT THIS SITUATION,WHAT IS GOING TO STOP YOUR HUSBAND FROM WONDERING WTF IS REALLY GOING ON?HAVE YOU AND THE OTHER GUY EVER HAD ANY INTAMACY?DO YOU FLIRT??ARE YOU HOT FOR HIM OR ATTRACTED TO HIM?YOU ARE WALKING ON THIN ICE WITH YOUR MARRIGE,BECAUSE YOU DEFINETLY ENCOURAGED THIS MAN SOMEHOW?IF YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND,PUT YOUR FRIEND IN CHECK,IF YOU ARENT SURE THAT YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND,THEN LET ME ASK YOU.....DO YOU HAVE BIG T ITS? AXE03 Link to comment
Jeffrey Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 The guy may be distancing himself so he can eliminate the feelings he has for you, or maybe test them. If so, he's doing the right thing and should remain in your circle of friends. Unlike the sage advise of the wordly "axe," I know you didn't have to do anything to cause this. As he got to know you better, he probably liked what he saw. It happens! This could be managed as a "no harm, no foul" situation...again if he is truly trying to bring his affection back down to the friend level. I wouldn't confront him on it. Give it time, allow the distance, and both you and your husband should take it as a compliment. Link to comment
hintah Posted January 25, 2003 Share Posted January 25, 2003 Please, pretend you don't notice it, and leave it alone. If your husband's friend likes you, that's his problem. You don't need to seek confirmation and make it your problem too. He could simply be attracted to you (for the same reasons your husband loves you). Try introducting him to one of your friends. This may not solve the problem, but hopefully it will distract him, and let him know you're not interested in pursuing anything with him. Link to comment
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