Problems getting a girl I like...

There's a girl one class below me and she's in one of my classes and sits beside me. We don't really talk that much- I do much of the talking and I realize I make her laugh a lot. Plus, I also realized that I have a deep attraction for her... my heart aches everyday just to talk to her.

Finally one day I asked for her AOL IM- just a friendly gesture- dont want to be so outrageous and she said she never goes on. I didn't want to ask for her phone # yet cuz that would sound too desperate so I just kept quiet. So far I haven't seen her on AOL IM and I am left twidling my thumbs. That class is still there, but I dont know how to ask for her phone # especially with some students behind us that would definitely overhear us. Should I slip a note in or something? But I think doing that would make her uncomfortable. I am in turmoil right now and class is about to end in a few weeks.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Otay, so its coming down to the line and you want to make your move. So since she still does sit next to you, take advantage of it , talk to her after class and walk her to her next class, in the hallway ask her for her number, (sounds easy right?) I know u'r gonna be shyting bricks, but for you to get to where u wanna be, it must be done, just remember life's too short, and dont let chances pass you by just because you are afriad of what she might say or of what people will think of you, be cool, be in control. Theres this quote i heard in a movie once (forgot which one) but if u need that extra push always remember.... "He who hesitates masturbates"

There's this thought that occurred to me probably a couple years ago (I'm 28 now) and it's one of those thoughts that I wish had occurred to me much sooner, but I swore if I got the chance I would spread this message to anyone who could benefit from it. Here's the thought:

At some point, school ends and you will never see most of these people ever again for the rest of your life.

If I had realized that when I was in high school, I would have asked out every girl I ever had a crush on -- but I only ever asked out three. A PALTRY THREE! OUT OF FEAR!

My friend, there is not a single guy at your school who hasn't been in the EXACT same predicament you're in now. Take comfort in that.

Take comfort, also, in the fact that you are in the BEST dating situation OF YOUR YOUNG LIFE! Even if this girl were to make a horrifying display of just how much she DOES NOT want to give you her number and how terribly UNWORTHY you are of calling said number (unlikely, given that you said she laughs at your jokes), what would it matter? In a few more years, you're out of there. And she's history. She's a funny story you'll tell your college buddies -- a story that begins with you having the guts to approach her in the first place.

A quick example: when I was a senior in high school, I had a mad crush on this girl... she was so fine and for some reason she enjoyed my company. I entertained the idea of asking her out but never did. I rationalized that decision with the usual "she'll probably turn me down", "what if I scare her off" type thoughts. Recently, she called me up and we talked about the old days and she told me that during that same time she had a crush on me. THIS BLEW ME AWAY.

The lesson: DON'T BE ME.

Ask this girl for her number. If she asks why, tell her it's because you like her and you think she's pretty. Be direct. It will blow her mind.

And finally (sorry for the book, here, fella), think about how this benefits you in the long run, even if dating this girl doesn't pan out. You keep it up with this direct approach with girls you like right now and in a couple of years when you're in college, you'll have no reservations approaching the ladies. You'll actually feel comfortable about it.

Good luck, squire.

you could always just give her your number... it's much easier for me to do that... then you just leave it up to her.. and she can't reject you.. if you ask and she's like "uhh... no" that sucks. but if you give her your number and she doesn't call, no biggie, no one saw that and you can live your life.. if you're really worried about people seeing her not give you her number or something i'd go with that route