Can I get back my love of almost 2 years?

Well, I'm sure this will sound like the same old teen story, but I can honestly say that the girl I love is the one for me.

I noticed my ex-girlfriend first in school in the hallway and from the first moment our eyes finally met, I got that feeling in my stomach that hit me like a brick. We finally got to meet one another at my friends Halloween party in 2000 and hit it off right away. I knew we were in love already. When Homecoming came the next week, we danced with each other and her friend told me she dumped her boyfriend she had been dating for not too long and that she wanted me to ask her out. All my life I had always been shy of asking girls out and not being able to commit, but there was about this girl that made me forget about all that crap, and I asked her out after the last dance, which we danced to. I knew it was a start of a fantastic relationship. The first year was incredible, never in my or her life had we met people that we cared about this much. And I know she loved me more than anything else in the world because of how she told me in her cards, poems, and emails. The things she said about me were amazing and I couldn't stop telling her how much I was in love and never wanted to leave. We made many promises never to leave each other because we loved one another more than anything. Of course, there were arguments here and there, but not enough to make us sad for long, or any that we couldn't overcome. Just the words "break-up" made her cry, because she had never had anyone that treated her the way I did, and the same went for me. I recall one night where we both told each other how we felt and how incredible we both were, and we cried in each other's arms because of how happy and heavenly our relationship was. The next year was my senior year and so I saw more of my friends and her too. Also, school got harder for both of us, but we still saw each other everyday after school and I drove her home usually. I loved our relationship and so did she. Then summer came, which is both of our fav. times in the year.

We still had an incredible relationship, and although we had not had sex yet, we did everything else and I always pleased her and she to me. I could feel some of the excitement drifting away, as she would not need to have any oral sex every weekend or day. However, her personality had never been like that, so it didn't worry me. College was coming though, and her being a senior that coming year, we both worried if our love could make it. So we made it all the way through the summer, with very little problems, loving one another as always and I had one week of college b4 I came back for labor day weekend. However, it was a somber homecoming because the second day I saw her, she told me she couldn't go out with me anymore and didn't feel the same. and this was the same girl who wanted to be with me the rest of her life and her dream was to marry me one day and have kids with a dog. lol Well, needless to say, i was devastated, and I could not handle it for about a week after I got back out to college. She said it was because she could not go out with a boyfriend who was 2 hours away and that she never saw, being so accustomed to me always being there for her, by her side. I then found out that the week after we broke up, she was already making out with another kid, but when he asked her out 2 weeks later, she said no, with FULL confidence. She then began seeing another guy who she started liking and he likes her and they are still not going out, but are seeing each other a lot, for the past 3 weeks or so. I want to know what I need to do to get her back to me. I have the gut feeling and I know she is the one for me. Nothing will ever change my mind, because of how great of a person she is. Is she with these other guys to satisfy her loneliness w/out me? I just need to know if we can still be together in the future. She frequently tells me she misses me and calls me everyday still to college. We still love each other, but she says her feelings have changed and that we're really really good friends, thats all. I beg to differ, knowing that her feelings just can't die that fast. Please tell me I am not a lost cause here and that if I stick with it, but play it smart, that I can get her back.

Wow...that's all I can say...I should copy and paste your post and use it as my own. I know exactly how you feel right now man. My ex girlfriend (been separated 3 weeks) was the world to me. We talked about how we would NEVER break up, and a few times she told me that she makes a wish every night that "we would get married someday and have kids". A dog wouldn't be bad either, lol. But I have that same gut feeling that she is the one for me, it's deep down. Since we broke up we still talk every day, and we got together and made out once. I KNOW she still has feelings for me, as do I for her, and that's why it's confusing when she says, just like your ex, "I think we can be really good friends". Now since we've been apart i've made a few mistakes (read my first post), but I know I still love her....Now to your main point, can you get back together. Nothing is impossible, and when girls go to college for the first time they start acting really weird. Give it a semester, seriously, she'll see that college life isn't that fulfilling, and that she misses YOUR love. I mean, this isn't for sure, all I'm saying is that she's just probably feeling really confused right now. Give it time, and play your cards right. Don't act desperate, don't get mad about the other guys she's been seeing...Keep your cool no matter how hard it seems. Be there for her, really try to be "really good friends". And be sure to make eye contact with her when you see her, you can find out a lot that way....Good luck man, seriously...If this helps at all jot me a note or email me, i'd like to hear from you man. Peace.

[Let's face it, BREAKING UP SUX!

I pose a difference of opinion regarding, "Remaining friends".

By chosing to do so, you are only going to be torturing yourself as you stand in total support of your ex-girlfriend-in all that she does. It's as though you become an emotional tampon, without the benefits of a true love relationship.

Without friendship, true love cannot exsist. However, there are other factors to this fact. You don't want to hide your REAL feelings, (that you are indeed in-love with your ex). By not showing this, you are putting on a false-face and only trying to kid yourself and your ex.

My advice is this...

Tell your ex, though you love and care for her with all your heart. You simply cannot continue standing on the side lines while some other lucky bastard is seeing the girl you love. You will be open to seeing her ONLY if there is not a third party involved. Besides, it's not fair to the third party either. I would stop with that. Hopefully she'll understand.

Unless you truly mean it, I would avoid saying, "Good luck to you both".

Instead I'd op to say, "Take care of yourself". No need to tell her to call you if dosen't work out. I would assume she should already know that by you saying, you cannot simply stand on the sidelines witnessing another guy with your gal. She should know you have strong feelings for her and about the relationship.

By exiting the relationship-though it will be very hard at first, you will allow yourself some time to heal. It will take time, but "time heals all wounds "they say.

Hopefully you will discover your ol' happy self again! Just don't be a jackayss 8)

Take Care!

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I have to agree with LearningL8's philosophy. If you want to heal your wounds (which I'm sure you do), then you need to pick up and move on.

I realize all too well how hard that is to do. I'm in a severed relationship as well and feel that great pain of detatchment everyday. I'm constantly struggling to resist the urge to call or e-mail her, because I know it will do nothing but lower my self-esteem.

I've also learned to hide things that remind me of her, yet as I'm sure you can relate-- simple living reminds me of her. A TV show, song on the radio, hair style, a car that looks like hers, etc; etc;...THIS IS DIFFICULT STUFF!!!!

Remember that crying is part of the healing process. I'm considered a toughguy, but dam it..I cry too sometimes.

Another thing that helps is exercise, proper diet, and talking to people that don't mind listening. Remind them that you just need to vent.

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